Unsolicited advice is the worst. Unless it’s done anonymously over the internet, with the best of intentions… and then maybe it’s okay. Maybe. First we started with the rookies. Then it was advice for those who have been at this for a bit. Today is for those who consider themselves “experts”.
#1. Resist getting weird.
“Boring” doesn’t mean bad to all. Or any.
So you’ve got it pretty much figured out. Awesome. But there’s a threshold one risks crossing. At some point, normal becomes boring, and the risk is you start reaching for extremes just to keep yourself entertained. At first, some will probably think it’s charming. Cute even. But left unchecked, you quickly spiral into the realm of inappropriate and flat out bizarre. It’s The Depp Effect. And then, it’s tough to be taken seriously. Most of us use style as a tool. Keep in mind what purpose you’re using that tool for.
#2. Pass along knowledge & your opinion… when asked.
If they didn’t ask, then don’t offer your advice.
A lot of us have probably been asked at one time or another from a friend or acquaintance to provide some sort of advice on style. And that’s a flattering thing to be asked. If they didn’t think you looked good, they wouldn’t ask. And we all remember what it was like starting out. It was hard. Embarrassing even. And many of us didn’t WANT to ask someone where they got their shoes, or why their suit looked so good. But just because you think someone might want to ask a question or two, doesn’t mean you should preemptively answer them. You’re not their personal stylist, and most of the world finds the topic of men’s clothing excruciatingly boring. Wear it. Don’t share it. Unless asked, then yes, absolutely.
#3. Keep it in perspective
Musta been the dysentery.
This is different than #1. This is less about the wardrobe and more on how much time/effort/money you spend on it. If the first thing people will say about you when you die is: “He was so well dressed.” Well then, what the hell?
I agree on all three. Finding your personal style and “uniform” is key. Not everyone is avant garde. No one likes a jerk that constantly is talking about how you suck and what they do is better regardless of the topic. Three no one cares how much money you spent on item X honestly half the time you sound like a pretentious douche. Clothing don’t make the man.
I wouldn’t mind if “He was so well dressed” were like the third thing said at my funeral.
>Most of us use style as a tool. Keep in mind what purpose you’re using that tool for
I’m going to disagree that #1 is a hard and fast rule. I think at some point, you make a decision to either use style as tool, or, likely more infrequently, you continue to grow it into a hobby. I know this is the exact opposite of the Dappered gospel (Fashion is temporary and expensive…), but I see nothing wrong in growing a self improvement tool into something you’re genuinely interested in as an art form. That might mean wearing some weird shit once in awhile because you’re bored of biz casual.
A (maybe weak) analogy is fitness – a lot of people get into running/weightlifting for basic health and weight concerns and most will hopefully stick with it and maintain it as a good lifestyle choice, but there will be that small minority who love it to the point of it being a marathon runner or power lifter.
I like how the article denotes “self appointed” experts and doesn’t ask for people to chime in at the bottom. It goes to show (rightly) that people are hardly ever as smart as they think they are.
In regards to #1) ‘even if he’s buttoned all three buttons on his suit?
BTW… I totally called #3 yesterday in the comments of yesterday’s post. 🙂
#4: Learn to stop rolling your eyes whenever you see any of the following: basting stitches that are still attached; all-the-buttons-all-the-time action; pant cuffs that are 0.5% too long; black lounge suits; rubber outsoles; ties with casual shirts; matching tie and square sets; boat shoes in the snow; yourself in the mirror.
I saw a kid show up to a recent on-campus employer event with a shimmery blue (not navy) polyester suit buttoned all the way down. I wanted do or say something, but I just couldn’t. It wasn’t my place.
I see tons of guys with their jacket vents still sewn shut. I never say anything because I don’t know them, but if someone I know shows up somewhere like that I would hope my friendly advice would be appreciated.
Giving advice is touchy regardless of the topic. I’m the type of person that really appreciates constructive criticism. Like most people, I don’t like being wrong… but unlike most people, I appreciate being told I’m wrong the first time so that I can start being right. 😉
Wearing rubber soles today (it might rain) and have a black suit at the tailor getting 2″ cuffs added.
Come at me
I keep a couple different pair of rubber-soled shoes for bad weather.
I’m not self appointed, I was nominated! Agh
I’ll add one that’s a bit more practical- learn to google brands. Whether you’re thrifting or buying foreign at a site like FarFetch, it pays to know how to get reliable info on a brand quickly. I bought a new suit last week from Dante Cinque – a quick search online told me it was made by Boglioli, and if it had been labeled a Boglioli it probably would have sold for 4x the price.
I went to someone’s wedding, and his — the groom’s — jacket on his suit… well… he hadn’t opened the vent. But it was obviously too late to say anything — by the time I could have told him, he’d already taken his photos and actually gotten married. No good could possibly have come of it.
Add “jacket sleeves that are too long” to the list, too. I really need to stop cringing when I see that.
Wait, what’s wrong with rubber soles? Y’all need to try living in the Pacific Northwest. (Or England.) Except for about a month and a half between late July and early September, the sidewalks are basically always wet, or at least damp. I’ve got a couple pairs of shoes with leather soles, and they get torn up so badly that it’s almost not worth it. They’re basically summer-only shoes around here.
(Though I *was* going to wear leather soles today, before I discovered that I’d have to move a pair of laces to do so — I wasn’t running early enough this morning to spend the few minutes swapping out laces. But our weather has been rather exceptionally warm and dry the last few days.)
I think that’s the key. Sorta what Alan was getting at. If a pal has his suit jacket vent sewn shut, I’ll tactfully let him know. And I’m not dumb enough to not think it wouldn’t happen to me sometime as well (we all rush through stuff, and sometimes get over excited about a new purchase). So I’d expect a pal to let me know if I were in that boat. No different than having something stuck in your teeth at lunch.
When you can crawl inside your own suit jacket like a sleeping bag, they might be too big.
Sorta off topic, but what’s the pocket square in the pic with #1?
Nothing. I’m wearing a pair right now. My point is that I think we have a tendency to learn so many rules and exceptions and nuances that we start becoming hypercritical drones who are living out our SF/AAAC/DT debates in real life. It’s like learning how to fight really well. You have to learn to lose the urge to puff up your chest and throw a punch at anyone who looks at you sidelong.
It’s a grey chambray with some blue tones from Fifth&Brannan. No longer available, but TheTieBar has some similar options for $8
poor schlub.
Thanks, Joe. It’s great, but too bad it’s gone. Found something similar at Kent Wang I might try out though.
I guess as leader of the free world…you set the trend.
double pleats
I’d add #4: “Write only what you’d say to a person’s face. Keep it civil and when you disagree, propose an alternative,” haha. People here tend to do a good job with this, but on some other forums, people get nasty, and often still have nothing constructive to say.
I’ve been so tempted to tell these young boys I see at church and other formal places to remove the brand tag off the left arm sleeve. I dunno why their parent/guardian thinks it’s ok to leave those on. But I resist, then feel bad that I didn’t take a moment to instruct a youngster on proper fashion. Should I kindly say something or look away?
Yes! The Sharpest Dressed Man in the Room thanks you for saying http://youtu.be/henGLWevisI