MEET THE NEW GUY, SAME AS THE OLD GUY: Well that was fast. No sooner had we passed along the story of Ron Johnson’s rocky tenure as CEO of struggling J.C. Penney, they showed him the door. Now the question seems to be, can the big-box retailer find a way back to prosperity as a public entity or is it time for the powers-that-be to take their toys and go home. In other words, do they kiss the shareholders goodbye and go private?
CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER. Or not. Depending on whether your glass is half full or half empty, your student loan is making money for Uncle Sam or, it is going to take down the economy. As if it were all that simple.
SURVEY SAYS SUPERSIZE IT! Bad news fellas. The fairer sex has been lying when they say “size doesn’t matter.” ALL OF THEM! Actually, about 102 of them. From Australia. But it’s all sciencey and stuff. Essentially it appears that ladies prefer larger equipment down there. But before you reach for that bottle of blue pills, what matters even more than that is the “shoulder-to-hip ratio.” So, yeah, presses instead of pumps. But it’s not all bad news: It’s officially ok to look at your favorite motorboatables. In fact, doctors (at least one) recommends it.
Need something else to read?
- Yes, we are living in the plastic age. But sometimes green is the thing. Talk among yourselves.
- Tough day at the office? When it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get to work, make sure you know what you’re doing.
- Are you good to go? You got what you need? You know there’s a list right?
ALFRED’S DAY OFF