Ask A Woman: The big, the tall, the stylish.
Ask A Woman: The big, the tall, the stylish.If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
Hi Beth:
I’m a bigger guy but I’m sick of falling into the big guy style trap. I’m working on getting thinner, but I want to dress better now. Because of the trend toward slimmer fit clothing, it’s difficult to find affordable, stylish clothes that fit well enough to not accentuate my size. So I usually end up in golf polos and the two or three shirts I’ve found that look good on me. How’s a bigger guy supposed to look good in a world of thin?
– Billy
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Hi Billy,
Finding flattering clothing for a larger frame can be a bitch, son. I’ve written two previous columns on the topic, but it continues to be an issue for Dappered readers (and really, consumers everywhere), so let’s revisit it once again. Plus, every time I write on this topic, readers flood the comments section with great recommendations for big guys, so we have an ever-growing arsenal of information from which to work.
First, I don’t think the trend toward slimmer fit clothing means you’re out of luck. Slim fit doesn’t mean button-popping, it means the clothing fits close to the body. Depending on your body shape, you may very well be able to wear slimmer fit styles. It’s just going to be a bigger cut for you, than, say, someone with Usain Bolt’s body shape.
Polo shirts, button-ups, sweaters, vests, blazers–all of these styles are available to you. Again, cut is going to be your main consideration. Buy clothing that skims the surface of your body, but doesn’t cling or pull. Look at the buttons on a button-down shirt–they shouldn’t pull or gape. Look at the surface of a sweater–the pattern/texture shouldn’t be distorted. But don’t pick clothing that billows around your body. Many large people think that enveloping their bodies in layers of cloth will hide their true size, but instead it makes you look bigger and unkempt. You shouldn’t be able to feel a breeze through the bottom of your sweater.
Some retailers sort for you on the web. Both GAP.com and BananaRepublic.com have sections for Big & Tall.
Jeans, chinos, dress pants–these items are all viable options. I would advise against tapered legs, which will make you look top heavy. You may even want to avoid a straight leg and go right for standard or classic fit. Especially if you carry a lot of weight in your chest, shoulders, or mid-section, pick a wide enough leg that will balance you out a bit. By that I don’t mean you should buy your pants two sizes too big. Get the fit right at the waist, hips, and inseam, but choose a leg that retains a wider leg from the hip to ankle.
From left: Eddie Bauer chinos; Lauren by Ralph Lauren dress pants; Banana Republic jeans
Other tips and tricks: don’t go too crazy with layering. Yes, it’s a big trend, but extra layers add lumpiness, so I’d advise even medium-sized guys to be careful not to overdo it, because it does add pounds. Stick with vertical stripes. If you’re a sucker for horizontal, pick very thin stripes–larger stripes add bulk. Finally: try, try, try on clothing. Everyone has some type of issue when it comes to fitting their body: super long torso and shorter legs, monkey arms, no neck, you name it. The key is figuring out what brands and cuts fit you best. Go online and order a bunch of clothing from the big retailers that offer big and tall sizes: Eddie Bauer, Orvis, Nordstrom, Jos. A. Bank, Macy’s, LL Bean, Land’s End. Head to the Bonobos sale section. Often times their sale section is filled with larger sizes, they’re known for their fit, and you can search by your size. Shipping is also free both ways.
This finding-what-brands-fit-you-best strategy will require work on your part, but it’s worth it if you begin to feel like you’re really dressing to suit your tastes. Then in six months…do it again. If you’re consistently losing weight, your body will change frequently, and thus you’ll need to figure out what your new body looks best in.
Figure out what makes you look and feel like The Rock, and what makes you look and feel like…Chris Farley (no disrespect big guy, R.I.P.). Return the duds and rejoice in the keepers.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send it to: askawoman@dappered.com
Usain Bolt
I’m 6’4, 240 lb. Shortly after I graduated college, and went from swinging a hammer to sitting in a cubicle, that turned to closer to 250 lbs, and no definition. So I’ve been there.
What I found worked best for me was eddie bauer bootcut jeans, and classic or relaxed fit shirts. They have tons of sales, and their XL or L talls fit well in the shoulders, and a little slimming by a tailor to my particular gut could make me look like i’ve lost the 10-15 lb I needed to.
I’d make the argument that a tailor is even more important to a big dude, than a skinny one. Since I’ve gotten back into lifting, the tailor is even more important. I’m still 240, but moved a lot of that weight into my thighs and shoulders rather than the gut. Dark Jeans, a tailored fine-patterned checkered shirt, and a casual blazer is my go-to uniform. Seems to work for me.
As someone also in the “big-getting-smaller” club — I’m 6′ even and about 205 pounds right now, having started somewhere north of 250 at the beginning of 2012 — I know your pain!
Contrary to Beth’s opinion, I’ve found a couple of things to be true: First, *avoid* vertical stripes if your shape is more round than boxy. When your shape is round, vertical stripes bow outward around your midsection, which accentuates your weight, and does exactly the opposite of what you want. Once you reach “boxy” shape — and that’s where I’m at right now! — then vertical stripes become a thing you can use to your advantage. But not before!
I’ve also found tapered legs, at least in my case, to be beneficial. Nothing extreme, and no skinny jeans, but where I’m at right now, Levi’s 513s — slim tapered — are pretty close to perfect. You can see me in a pair of them (and a J. Crew polo) here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/fyv24uq0btbtzz2/IMG_0904.JPG
The *hardest* thing, being overweight, is finding a shirt that looks good tucked. Once you reach “boxy” shape, shirts have this awful tendency to billow out around the midsection — or to be too tight entirely around the midsection. I think tailoring is really the only solution, here, but I’ve found that staying casual and untucked is good, too.
On the weight loss front, I cannot more highly recommend using My Fitness Pal: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/
To the poster of the question, if you are seriously in a cut down mode with your weight and you have a pretty big goal ( > 10 lbs) I would hold off on buying clothes. You might be amazed how a weight swing as little as 10 -20 lbs can dramatically affect the fit of you clothes. A couple of years ago I lost about 60 pounds from 230 -170. There isn’t one article of clothing from 230 or even 200l lbs that I have any more, and that includes outwear. It’s just too much of a change in weight. So, my advice would be to hold off on buying clothes until you are at the weight you want. I ended up buying a few basic things like jeans somewhere in the middle of my cutdown, but I went cheap. I’ve saved all my really big purchases until i was done. The great news is you can really drop weight in a hurry if your serious about it, it only took me six months of disciplined dieting and running to get there, so good luck in your goal!
Damn auto correct. Fixed.
That said, it’s going to take a lot of time to dump serious weight and you need to get dressed in the morning in the meantime.
Ebay, baby. Know your measurements and know a decent tailor and you can dress *very* well for not too much money. Keep in mind the very sound advice about basics for a limited wardrobe that this site and others present. Target your purchases.
As you lose weight, get rid of clothes that are now too big — shoot, you can probably resell them on the ‘bay if you’re feeling industrious. But definitely get rid of them. You don’t want a fallback position brother. Burn the ship.
And I’d modify Beth’s advice on layering a bit. It can help to break up your profile a little bit, or to draw lines on your carriage that help to minimize your girth and maximize the “triangle” that everyone talks about. A sweatervest under a nicely fitting jacket can help to minimize the impression of rotundity — the increase in volume is negligible. Of course, the thing has to fit. She’s totally right about baggy/voluminous clothing. You want the best-fitting items that you can fit into.
Another specific example from my own life: Although in vertical measurements, I’m a 46L, I often find that 46R jackets make me seem slimmer. Reason being, I carry much of my bulk in my thighs, hips, etc., with a comparatively small waist and proportionately broad shoulders. While the 46L is the right length based on the length of my arms and my height, it tends to over-emphasize the heft of my thighs by putting more cloth there. The “R” stops the eye a little higher and allows the line of my trousers to carry a longer line to the floor, making my legs seem slimmer through length.
Lesson being: the tricks are different for everyone. But it’s still possible to be a big guy and look sharp. You just have to experiment. Ebay keeps the cost of trial-and-error within reason.
Good luck, and best of luck with your fitness goals.
I might get flamed for this, but there’s no shame in man spanx… fake it until you make it. It tightens you in some key areas and helps when you gotta tuck your shirt in. Former fatty here 250s->170s, diet, exercise, lift heavy ass weights, but a little trickery until you reach your goal.
I always wonder why these questions keep coming to Beth because, as she said, this is her third column on this. It is not that Beth isn’t great, because she is, it is just that I just don’t understand, as a guy who is big and tall, why people would ask somebody who is none of the three. Take for example the recommendation to try Bonobo’s. Bonobos isn’t fat friendly. Their biggest waist is a 40 (which is not very big) and their biggest neck is a 17.5 and I can vouch that their 40 is a very trim 40 and, unless you are a true 38, you should stay away. It would have been nice to know your current measurements and that ‘one piece’ that is really tough for you to get in the right size (any big or tall person has that one part of the outfit that is just really, really tough. For me it is pants and for some it is dress shirts and others it is any shirts at all)
Fortunately, you got some good advice from other posters. If you are losing weight, don’t spend a lot of money of a new outfit. You are not going to have it in a year or two. That means you should might want to stay away from Beth’s choices of BR and Ralph Lauren. Gap used to be pretty good and I find that their standard jeans to be wonderful but I’m not too big in the waist but they do have big and tall sizes and they have a sale everytime you sneeze. If you do go for BR, wait for their 40% one piece sale that they have all the time and, if you are like me and have big thighs, stay away from their fatty pant, the Dawson.
Also, James is right, a lot of the standard cliches about being big (vertical over horzontal stripes, stay away from tappered pants) aren’t true. You are big in your own ways and, as Beth recommends, try as many clothes as you can and figure out what works for you. A horizontal stripe might work great, particularly under another layer like a jacket or light sweater (overlayering really isn’t too much of problem for you, is it? Big guys getting pretty frickin’ hot on our own and tend not to put too much on, amirite?)
If I have to give just one, quick answer (and ‘past Tim’ would be shocked that I’m saying this), I would recommend JC Penneys. They just launched their new JCP line and I, like a lot of Dappered readers, am a big fan. They are cheap, stylish basics that are really well done and best of all, THEY HAVE A BIG AND TALL SECTION. JC Penneys, even when their clothes were bad, has always catered to us big and tall folk and now that they got good, cheap clothes, you should really try it out. They have chinos (always a safe bet) for $40 in sizes up to 50. Their oxford and poplin shirts are also fantastic and that wool blazer is great. Joe had a problem because it was a bit too roomy but, guess what? When Joe says something is too roomy, it might just be just right for you.
Anyways, best of luck, feel free to ask more questions in the Dappered forums and remember to never listen to anybody that recommends American Apparel or H&M because, seriously, those stores are made for enchanted, skinny folk like elves, ya know?
I dropped 20 lbs (from 210 to 180) in a span of three months and I’ve kept it mostly off. I went from a large to a medium. I’ve had to get rid of ALL OF MY CLOTHES because they just look stupid on me. So yeah, hold off until you’re at a weight you think you can maintain. TIP: buying new (smaller) clothes helps you keep off the weight. Make sure you throw away the fat clothes so there’s no temptation.
Completely agree with all the comments from the posters. I’m 6’5 255lb, and I have a bit of a belly.
I love shopping at BR, their XLT fits me like it was tailormade. But I have to give the biggest kudos to BorrowedSuit’s comments below. eBay is the way to go. 7 For all Mankind make great straight and bootcut jeans in 40″ waist and 35 or 36 inseam that look incredible and they’re available for about 60 bucks.
Same for Zegna shirts. I’m actually a LT rather than XLT (the jump in size is several inches) but it’s fine Italian tailoring.
Beth’s advice about trying things on is a good one, but with BR you can always return it in store, and for designer stuff on eBay you can usually sell it for the same you paid if it doesn’t fit.
Just my two cents.
I’m a bigger guy and I have found ways to still dress stylishly by following the advice above. Find brands that make quality apparel in sizes that make you feel comfortable. Never try to squeeze into a garment because you like the brand or design–you’ll be self conscious about it the entire time. I have found a few major labels that have sizes that fit me more than comfortably and always seem to get me compliments from females and from guys (who want to buy similar gear in their own size). The two companies are Brooks Brothers and Faconnable. Neither company is cheap, but if you hunt on eBay or wait for semi annual sales at Brooks you can find great stuff: sweaters, golden fleece polos, button downs, the whole lot.
As far as bottoms go, I think the best company for big man jeans and slacks are Gap and Levi’s. Honestly, Gap jeans on a good sale are very high quality with great cuts and dyes. Look for original fit and standard fit for both of those. With Levi’s stick to boot cut or the STF 501 (the STF is a pain but will give you an incredible fit for your body). Everyone else from Banana to J.Crew, I find just don’t look right on me they are meant for the slim cut model type physique guy which I cannot pull off.
Look into these brands on eBay and you will do great. Also, it always helps you look sharper and well dressed with a nice pair of shoes. Get a pair of good quality wingtips (florsheim veblens) and a pair of Clark desert boots. You’ll be surprised how much sharper the shoes make your entire outfit look.
Great, great recommendation on the JCP line and the fact that they have big & tall now. That’s going to be a great resource for the bigger guys out there. As far as Bonobos goes, maybe he can score a great deal on some pants on the way down?