Ask A Woman: Woman approved, large human style
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
Hi Beth,
So I am a big guy – 6’5″, 300lbs, 40×32, 54 Long. I have the HARDEST time finding clothes on a budget that aren’t simply a 2XL. Very few places offer good quality 2XLT at a decent price…
I don’t really have the funds to get all of my outfits tailored. What would you recommend as a good place to shop to find clothes that might fit off the shelf?
– Phrustrated in Philly
Hi Phrustrated,
This past summer I wrote a response to a reader of a larger size who wanted to stay cool and stylish during the hot months. I learned a couple things in writing that column, and then reading the reader comments in response. Mostly that there is a woeful lack of resources for full-sized fashionistos. Your options are limited, expensive, and inconvenient to obtain. Boo. But, I went through a number of websites and tried to cull what I thought were the best options from each site, so that you’re not wandering blindly. Normally I try to stay away from naming specific brands in my columns, but seeing as there are so few resources for the big and tall dresser, I’m going to make an exception below.
Casual Male XL: According to a reader, some of their clothing is great; some of it is terrible. I can confirm this information from looking at their website. Tragically, they are fixated on sports logos and stretch waistbands. But, you may find some basics here that can be the foundation of your wardrobe, like polos and dress shirts.
Eddie Bauer: I was pleased to see that EB has a fairly large selection of pants to fit the bigger man, and that you can customize the pants by rise, inseam length, waist measurement, and hem. Lots of options so that you can get the best fit possible. They also have a nice selection of on-trend sweaters, almost all available in big AND tall sizes.
Jos. A. Bank: This site is good for more formal wear. Lots of suits available in your size, Phrustrated.
Nordstrom: Surprisingly large and diverse selection of clothing for bigger men. Unfortunately, you’ll pay typical Nordstrom prices. But, if you shop there selectively, you can buy a few high-quality, beautiful pieces from time to time and not break the bank. I love the cognac hue of this belt
, and the deep mahogany color of this dress shirt
; both of these items are available in extended sizes.
Macy’s: There are a number of steals on Macy’s website even as we speak: this classic, long overcoat (can’t you picture John Payne running around New York, defending Kris Kringle in this coat?) and this more modern style of overcoat (cashmere blend!). Plus, they have a ton of options for jeans in all different cuts and finishes.
From Left: Eddie Bauer Bull Denim, 1901 Oxford from Nordstrom, Wool Blend Sportcoat via Overstock.com
Despite all this information I’ve given you, it’s still going to be a matter of trial and error. Any time you have the opportunity to get into a brick and mortar store that has these big and tall options, do it. Try on jeans, slacks, sweaters, blazers, whatever they have, and–don’t laugh–take actual notes. Do you hate how the jeans fit of a particular brand, but love their khakis? This is good information to have, even if you don’t need khakis at that particular moment, you’ll know where to go in the future. Much of your shopping though, will have to be online, simply because there are more options. Try to take advantage of free shipping offers whenever possible. You’re going to have to return some items, that’s inevitable, but eventually you’ll get a good inventory going of what brands, cuts, and pieces to buy where.
My last piece of advice is to keep an eye out for specialty boutiques, espeically when you travel. Large, metropolitan cities are more likely to have independently-owned stores that cater to specific needs, like big and tall men. If you know you’re headed to Chicago for a business trip, research ahead of time and see if a store may be worth visiting.
I fervently fancy fortuitous fashion finding for you, Phrustrated.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
Orvis. I saw a whole slew of nearly 50 inch waist Orvis khakis and dress pants at a thrift store last week. They seemed well made and weren’t stretch waist. Orvis sells good stuff.
for shoes, go to the Nordstrom Rack in King of Prussia (they have “large size events” that they can put you on their mailing list for). They will also have some clothes for you; but, not a huge selection.
The best strategy is to try on brands at a store and then buy the clothing online once you know your particular size with a brand. Lands End has some good options and, as Beth says, Joseph A Bank is another good option.
I have always wondered about the questions to Beth. I’m not flat-out saying that ‘Phrustrated in Philly’ doesn’t exist and I’m not going to question why anyone would feel the need to ask Beth about the best places to get clothes for large men. I will just say that I am almost the same size listed. I am 6’4″ and I weigh 295 lbs. My pants are 42 x 34 and I am a 48 long. I’m not sure about Philly’s proportions since he is taller than me but has a shorter inseam and while I have a slightly larger waist, I have a MUCH smaller jacket size. I don’t even know how that works.
Anyway, I do feel qualified to give some advice. First, stay away from Casual XL and any other ‘Big and Tall’ stores. Every tall guy knows that there is no (or next to no) tall in a ‘Big and Tall’ store, just a whole lotta big. They just put Tall in to make big people feel better. Anyways, we’re big people right? Fortunately, there is a lot of options.
First, as you should know,online is your friend. If you have a smartphone then you have TWO friends. Bring up the store’s website as soon as you walk in the store. If you find something you like, check the site to see if they have it your size. Almost every store has larger sizes, online. Not just Eddie Bauer but places from the Gap to LL Bean to J Crew. There are a few exceptions of stores that flat-out hate us big-boned brothers (I am looking at you Lands End Canvas) and don’t even bother looking at someplace like H&M unless you hate yourself. That place makes clothes for elves and fairy folk. Also, while we have rarely get lucky at Ross or Marshalls, give Burlington Coat Factory a try. It is a real crap shoot but they sometimes have amazing items and they love themselves a big man.
You are fortunate, Philly, because the hardest thing for a big man is pants and 40 x 32 is barely a big size. In fact, most stores will stock 40 x 32 in the store! There is a good chance that, if you are really having problems with fit on pants, that you have the wrong cut. Despite what Joe might say, we have to stay away from slim cuts of pants. May I recommend Gap’s standard Cut pants? They are a pretty flattering cut. Not quite a relaxed fit pant but still has some room in the thigh for the ‘well-marbled’ man.
Orvis and Eddie Bauer. EB especially, I buy from them, because I love there stuff, but I always have to get there shirts tailored because they are a little too wide (I’m 6′ 4″, 200 lbs). You should have no issues.
If we were gonna make up a question and feed it to Beth, why would we make one up that has: A. Hyper Specific Dimensions… and B. Going to appeal to a small segment of the daily readership?
Also, I can’t recall saying always go with slim cuts of pants. Keep it trim and stick with (as Beth says) clothes that skim. Not cling, not billow. I’m a 501 jeans guy through and through and can’t bring myself to wear J. Crew urban slim chinos. I think it’s all about proportion. Just steer clear of wearing baggy stuff. And standard fits are a real good option. Much better than their “straight” fit which is way too tight for me. Proof here: http://dappered.com/2011/04/gap-straight-gap-standard-fit-denim/
Good call on the extra suggestions about Burlington Coat Factory, Ross, and Marshalls. Good picks for sure. Seems like my 32×32 / Medium self always has to hunt and peck through larger and taller sizes to find stuff for me.
Anywho, gotta get back to making up emails to feed to Beth
Waitaminute… WHAT IF I AM BETH?!?!??!
GAP, Old Navy, and Banana Republic all sell big and tall sizes – online only, so fit might involve some trial and error, but luckily you can always return things in-store for free (and shipping is free over $50). J.Crew has an ok selection of tall-sized items (though it looks like they only go up to XLT). Higher-end department stores like Nordstrom will have taller sizes available as well – Nordstrom Rack might be a good place to look, as they will have many similar items for a lot cheaper.
I’m a puny 5’9″ but my dad is 6’5″ and my brother is 6’4″ – they are both tall and relatively skinny, so I know from experience that “big and tall” stores really just mean “big” stores. I’ve gone looking in such places and come out not having seen an inseam longer than 32″ (or a waist size smaller than 40″).
Was that a typo or is the inseam really a 32? I’m the same height and even some 34s make it look as though I am ready for a flood. I can say it is fortunate that although you don’t have a big tailoring budget, if worst comes to worst you can have pants hemmed (costs $6 in my area). I never liked that most stores only make up to a 34 inseam or that others get to a 36 inseam only when the waist gets to a 36 or bigger. It pretty much limits my jeans to a few brands but I’ve learned to accept it.
Why not go MTM? Quality’s not great if you go cheap, but the fit will be perfect, and lower-quality stuff that fits looks much better than higher-quality stuff that drapes on you like a mumu.
I think it must be a typo…? I find it hard to believe that a guy who’s 6’5″ has almost the same inseam length as me (31″) when I’m 8 inches shorter.
I am 6’4″ but slim. I buy 90% of my clothes from Banana Republic in Tall sizes. Even though I only purchase their new “slim” cut I still take them to my tailor so they can bring in the sides. The shoulders are perfect. They take in the chest a little and the waist a bit more. Totally worth the $15, it’s night and day.
I think that has to be a typo. The email was just copied and pasted, so…
Guys, I’m in the same boat. 54 jacket, 44×30 pants. One of the problems I have is finding AFFORDABLE suits. I’m definitely on a budget, so finding a $300 suit can be an issue. Also I’ve never had much of a rear end, so pants that fit my waist always look baggy. Any suggestions on these two? Thanks.
as a height-challenged male at 5’5″, this q&a is actually quite eye-opening to me. i always figured that having dedicated stores and sections marked as big/tall meant a wealth of options!
i remember going to try on rental tuxes (ugh) for a friend’s wedding and watching the men’s wearhouse (double ugh) rep tell me the 36S looked “great!” when you’re a 34-35 jacket and a 29×28 pant size, retail is a nightmare.
as someone who now pretty much shops express/banana/gap/jcrew online exclusively (thank you for those slim-fit XS sizes, finally — but why aren’t they in stores?!) + MTM, i feel your pain.
I’m 6’2 and 32 inseam is usually perfect for me. I always wonder why they seem to be the most common length with two more sizes above, since tall sizes seem to be generally hard to find. Do people really want that much break?
But yeah I would think someone 6’5 would need to got at least with 34. Fortunately they are everywhere.
Yup, as with most things, the men’s clothing industry is built to maximize profit and therefore caters to the lowest common denominator – i.e., the most “average” and common sizes and body types. Those who fall on either end of the bell curve have to look a lot harder (and sometimes pay a lot more) to find clothes that fit.
Hello all. So the above email is in fact real as I am the one that wrote it. Surprised as I checked Dappered today and there it is!
Those measurements are in fact correct. I’m definitely not a “normally proportioned” guy. I have a very long torso and arms and very short legs for someone of my size. If you follow swimming at all, think of Michael Phelps (see this picture: http://archive.totalimmersion.net/2004%20articles/august/phelps-wingspan.jpg)
@ecc408121af9c8baef77503fa516c68f:disqus you and I sound very much alike. I have no backside either. The only option I have (in having a gut
) is to buy pants that are not a 40, but are a 46 waist, then hike up my pants, making my backside the size of a small television (and just as flat) and then wear suspenders to keep the pants up. Not interested in this look. 
Or not! PiP has in fact checked in (see below, and thanks to him for stopping by)
I like a half break. The best inseam I’ve ever worn is a 30.75″, but since I would rather have my pants slightly too long than too short, and the choice is usually between 30 and 32, I often end up buying a 32″ inseam.
I tried no-break pants (unintentionally – I bought some jeans that shrank an unexpectedly large amount in the wash) and I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious every time I wore them.
Here’s an example of my ideal pant break.
My recommendation would be to try Burlington Coat Factory. It is a complete crap shoot. One week they have got nothing but ugly crap and the next week, they will have a bunch of great stuff. I can say that I am a big boy (42 x 34, 48L) and I have gotten a pretty spiffy Calvin Klein suit and a decent Hilfiger suit for under $100 each. Plus, most Burlington Coat Factories have a tailor on sight. They are the best of the lot but they can help make sure that cheap ass suit will fit! Good luck!
You mentioned not wanting to get everything tailored, but you may want to consider getting a few pieces that you really like tailored and wearing them all the time.
I find that I reach first for the things that fit best in my closet. I could trade in a pile of my clothes that cost a lot more than a tailor would have.
Big guy here as well (6’4″, 295, linebacker shoulders). I generally stick with LL Bean, Lands End, and Eddie Bauer. Between the three I can generally find a quality version of just about anything I’d need/want. I guess I’ll check out J. Crew again. I used to love their clothing when i was younger (i.e. trimmer). I’ve been skeptical that they’d cater to a hunk of man such as myself, but after reading the comments on here, I have renewed interest.
Haha, I couldn’t agree more with H&M. My girlfriend gets a lot of clothing from there and has dragged me with her a few times. Their XL or XXL, whatever their largest size is, is comically tiny.
While compared to you I’m shorter (6’1″) and have a larger chest (54/56 depending on who’s measuring), but I agree with most of what you have posted here. You’re dead on with trouser fits. “Standard fit” pants look good on me and are comfortable. Anything slimmer looks ridiculous and is uncomfortable. I used to prefer “dungaree cut” pants but they make me look really chunky.
My biggest issue is that most off-the-shelf shirts in my size seem to assume I’m morbidly obese based on the neck size. I am abnormally big-boned, I wear an 18.5 36/37 dress shirt, and while most shirts in this size fit me comfortably around the shoulders and chest, they seem to billow out into small tents by the time they get to my waist. I’m mildly overweight as it is, and shirts that are billowing around my stomach make me look really fat and sloppy.
I have had pretty good luck getting suits off of eBay. 54L/56R suits don’t come up very often, but when they do there is rarely any competitive bidding going on. I got a terrific looking used Pal Zileri grey pinstripe suit for $100, had the waist taken in a bit, and it fits remarkably well. I still need to get brace buttons added at some point.
I’ve been wearing a lot of Carhartt polo shirts recently, too. They are pretty casual, but they fit nicely and last about forever.
Yeah that’s the way I like it too, pretty much what I get at 32 inseam usually. Only thing I have had to go up to 34 in was the ON cords and now they have a bit more break than I’d prefer. I chalk that up to ONs inconsistent sizing.
Another big guy checking in, this is an excellent discussion.
I also deal with being on the shorter side. I’m 5’9″ but quite stocky. 40 waist, 48-50 jacket. I toe the line with most XXL’s as well but prefer a slimmer fit on things generally.I feel for you all, additionally, many of the typically XXL friendly stores, gap, BR, etc, often change their sizing every season so one XXL might fit me one season, and not the next.That being said, I think when buying suits, separates are something to really seek out. Brooks Brothers separates can be had at somewhat reasonable cost with decent quality. Having a tailor attempt to re-cut a pair of ill fitting suit pants because of a mismatched drop is always problematic
AlwaysBeenTim makes a good recommendation (well lots of good recommendations) with regards to Calvin Klein suits. They are of slimmer cut (the 48 fits me well with adjustments to make the jacket a little larger in the arms) and typically can be found at good value. I recently found a nice gray plaid number at Marshalls for $79. It isn’t the highest quality fabric but it has a modern silhouette and was too good of a deal to pass up.
My son is built quite similarly to PIP. (Not sure where he gets it from, as my wife and I are about 5′ 8″ on a good day, and I’m buit like @scottwicken:disqus is.) His wedding was just this Sunday. We had no luck getting a well-fitting tux from the usual places during his later prom years, so decided to try Indochino. The first result was quite off, as they tried to normalize his measurements. We corrected them (it seems common on the first order, they tried to normalize me, too), and the resulting garment fit like, well, a proper dinner jacket. So if you end up going made to measure, I suggest them.
LL bean and Land’s End both have at least some offerings that work, and make good stuff. I really like that both have Tall Size T Shirts (FWIW, they seem to be sort of vanity sized, I wear about a size smaller than usual). Both have plenty of pants in a 40 inch waist. Jackets are perhaps a little tougher. You don’t mention a shirt size, but Land’s end has dress shirts up to 20×37 in some styles (and I can attest that they are well made).
I can attest, as a bigger guy myself, that this whole slim fit trend that gets so much play here is really hard. I tried on some XXL gap sport coats recently that were about what a large would have been a few years back. And pants wise, I’m just too big in the thighs for most slim fit, even if the waist works.
If you can find a Burlington outlet, go there. However, seems like the best solution is just to go online. You can buy anything online these days. If you find a line of clothing and you know which sizes to order, do it.
I’m 6’7″, 350, and am a 56XL and 48-36 pant. His measurements seemed a little small in the waist but within reason….
I’d add Rochester Big and Tall. Excellent stuff, excellent service, but be prepared to feel deep pain with how much they charge for things.