What are you going to wear? Sometimes it’s good to look at a few suggestions then add your own tweaks and ideas. That’s what these are for. Halloween is this Thursday. Here’s one way to present yourself to the little twerps who solicit for candy every year. Maybe next year they’ll skip your place.
The Suit: AltSkin Men’s Full Body Spandex/Lycra Suit – $39.99. We are all little more than bags of meat.
The Mask: Industrial Rubber Gas Mask – $34.99. Halloween is for masks, right? This one is also practical.
The Hat: 100% Wool Top Hat – $39.95. M’lady.
The Chain: 18K Gold Over Sterling Silver .8mm Thin Chain Necklace – $11.47. Last thing on, first thing noticed.
The Tutu: Jasmine LED Light Up Purple Tutu – $16.99. It lights up. That means it’s a party.
The Shoes: Deluxe Elf Shoes w/ Bells – $11.18. This jingle will haunt your dreams.
The Candy Delivery Form: Slowly and methodically reach into your bowl of candy, hold a handful over their plastic pumpkin or bag or whatever, and then violently throw the candy down. Even better if you accidentally miss their bucket and they have to pick some of it up.
This is all, obviously, a bit of a joke.
Maybe.