What are you going to wear? Or in this instance, what is HE going wear? St. Nick has a huge job ahead of him. Lots of miles to cover, lots of soot filled chimneys to get down, lots of cookie crumbs & milk spills to avoid. It’s a dirty job, but that doesn’t mean Santa can’t look sharp while doing it. Here’s what he might wear while putting another 25k-50k miles on the sleigh.
The Sweater: Suitsupply Wool/Cashmere Turtleneck – $169. Great for keeping the arctic blast off his neck. Wool with a bit of cashmere in it, and that texture is mighty fine looking. Mrs. Claus has been experimenting with paleo eating habits this year, and in the process St. Nick has shed a little weight around the middle thanks to cutting out most carbs. Thus, a trimmer fitting sweater from Suitsupply this time around.
The Pants: GAP Straight Fit Cords with Stretch – $29.39 @ 40% off ($59.95). Warmer than chinos but still enough room and bit of stretch to stay comfortable during the longest work-night of the year.
The Watch: Hamilton Automatic Pilot – $599. The centuries haven’t been kind on Santa’s eyes, so he’s ditched the world timer watches from years past and instead is now favoring an easy to read pilot’s watch. Besides, the Elves in R&D finally got around to updating the software on the sled, so he can now keep track of all the timezones and his sleigh-to-tree-to-sleigh split times with the on-board computer.
The Belt: Weifert Stretch Woven Elastic Belt – $9.88. Yes that’s a stretchy woven belt. Do you have any idea as to how many cookies he’s got to wolf down that night?
The Coat: Custom Gore-Tex Cashmere-Lined Topcoat w/ Horween Leather Belt. One of a kind. Made by the Mrs. w/ help from Elf Q Branch. Not pictured: Matching hat with drop down night vision equipped face shield, as well as a wireless blue tooth ear piece connected to NORAD via the on-sleigh wi-fi hotspot.
The Base Layer: L.L. Bean Made in Canada Cotton/Wool Union Suit – $69.00. Santa’s a classics guy, so although the new-fangled neoprene base layers may wick moisture better, he’s still going with a traditional union suit. At least it does have a layer of wool in there, so that’ll function a bit better than the super old-school all cotton long johns.
The Socks: Wigwam Pikes Pro Lightweight Outdoor Crew Socks in Charcoal – $16. Nylon/Merino blend with enough cushioning and blister prevention properties to keep his feet happy while circumnavigating the globe.
The Boots: Allen Edmonds Longbranch in Black – $350. Port Washington isn’t that far from his place, so Santa’s been frequenting Allen Edmonds for years. The Longbranch is like an even tougher version of the Dalton. Wingtip details, textured leather, and a lug sole. Perfect for Christmas Eve, with all of those slippery rooftops and what not.
The Air Freshener: Car Freshener Royal Pine – $0.77. You try sitting behind eight tiny reindeer (or nine, depending on the weather) for an entire evening. Whichever asshat of an elf thought it’d be funny to feed Dasher and Dancer veggie chili for dinner on the 23rd is getting reassigned to quality control. Bloody hell those beasts don’t need to be jet powered, do they?
The Nice/Naughty List + Pen: Waterproof Field Notes – $9.95 | Fisher Space Pen – $34.05. Were you expecting an iPad? The master list stays on the scrolls at the pole, but for the big night, a duplicate is transcribed to a pack of weather resistant “Expedition” Field Notes. Meanwhile, the pen works in extreme temperatures and will write from any angle. Even in zero gravity. And that’s perfect for maintaining order on the list when Blitzen gets a wild hair up his tuckus and leads the team on spontaneous inverted aerial maneuvers over the Aegean.
The Gloves: Ralph Lauren Quilted Nappa Leather Gloves in Black – $34.97 ($88). Warm, but also offers the dexterity and durability to handle the reins with authority.
The Cap/Crash Helmet: Allen Edmonds Aviator Cap – $131.25 ($175). Santa has taken some spills on rooftops over the millennia, so to stay compliant with concussion protocol, Papa Elf has added this to St. Nick’s kit this year. Sheepskin base is from Allen Edmonds, while the safety team has added aftermarket padding based on the crystalline atomic structure of marshmallow fluff.