The difference between trying and trying too hard is that with the latter, “success” is dependent on others acknowledging your effort. Also, “failure” is often the result of being criticized by outside forces.
With the former (trying but not trying too hard), it’s internal. Others may acknowledge, and that’s all well and good, but that’s not what it’s about. Also, some may lob questions or even insults at you. But if you’re not wrecked by it on the inside, because you know you’re being true to yourself, then you’re golden.
It should be about what’s in-between your ears.
Not what hits them.