SHEER ROYALTY
OUT OF TIME: Have you heard about the watch heists in the City of Angels? You should.
INFORMATION POLLUTION: When you can’t trust what you’re reading, how do you make your way through the world? This is not a good thing.
OH THAT’S NASTY: At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without this thing inside. Then I was kind of grossed out. Then, a little bit intrigued. But mostly, I’m going with ew. And yes, I realize this could be very helpful for many people so I’m delighted for them. For reals.
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD: People who own swords and those who don’t. #whowantstoliveforever
THE MODERN TIGER: Painting by Matthew Grabelsky.
A THOUSAND WORDS: This is something.
THE ULTIMATE PARTICIPATION RIBBON: You get a ring, and you get a ring, and you get a ring… Editor’s Note: I love sports. Like, a lot. And I hate to be a wet blanket, but I just don’t understand why a good chunk of the American higher education apparatus is addicted to producing semi-pro sports teams, instead of taking 95% of the focus given to athletics and redirecting it towards academics. Yes, I know I’m in the minority on this.
EVERYONE LOVES LARRY: Perhaps the only one in Britain who isn’t in an uproar over Brexit. Also, this. And finally, this, which you always sort of expected.
SOMEONE GET A MAGNIFYING GLASS, STAT: Don’t be like this guy. Also, clean up at self check number 1.
STAY OFF MY LAWN! Not gonna lie. I would be totally ok with this here too. So, so true.
BASES LOADED:
All THE OPPORTUNITIES IN THE WORLD. What is “Squandered”? Alex?
BEATING A DEAD HORSE: Because I can’t possibly go a week without bringing up this. Or this. And finally, this.
WAIT, WHAT? This guy is still around? Also, ouch monkeys.
WINNING! Many thanks to Dossier contributor Eric H who clearly appreciates the finer things in life. Eat them up, yum!
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Also, I can’t wait to see the size of that hood ornament.
HOW TO LOOK SILLY IN THREE EASY STEPS: 1) Prepare to join the world in a united system of weights and measures. 2) Teach your children. 3) Abandon plan.
CONSEQUENCES: Welp.
THE URBAN LION: Painting by Kevin Peterson.
IF YOU DON’T WANT TO UNCORK YOUR TUMMY EVERY DAY…this might come in handy. No really, this is going to save some lives.
DEAL BREAKER? Because, uh, yikes.
LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: This is totally relevant to my interests at the moment.
THAT MOMENT YOU REALIZE…you might just be barely getting by. Editor’s Note II: I’m stunned that the gap between CA and Wyoming is only $9k.
HYBRID WARFARE: Putin is officially trolling the world. And trying to start schoolyard fights.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. So you’re telling me that not only is my English/Comm degree worthless, but I might toss my mortal coil? On the other hand…about those loans…
CONSEQUENCES: You always hear about musicians telling politicians to stop using their music. You rarely hear about politicians having to pay the price. Most expensive playlist ever. Editor’s Note III: Well… there goes his budget for one of these.
INCOMING!
Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.