There are some pretty obvious do’s and don’t’s when it comes to attracting and then keeping female company. You know, like, you should shower daily. Floss regularly. Don’t drench yourself in cologne. Avoid ogling other women when you’re on a date. The basics, the stuff you figure out in middle school, high school, and college, as you learn to flirt and date. But some dating faux pas are not necessarily obvious. You may be walking through life, smelling like soap and having excellent dental hygiene but not realizing that you’re still turning off women from time to time. Here are a few bad habits that may send the wrong message to women.
#1. Being a picky eater
Chicken wings. Potatoes. Iceberg lettuce with bottled ranch dressing. Cereal. If I just described the four major foods that make up your diet, Houston, we have a problem. Women sometimes view a man’s palate as a sign of maturity. The man who won’t eat eggplant, who fears capers, who’s never tried a type of cheese that doesn’t come packaged in individual slices–it might make us feel like we’re dating someone who isn’t open to new things, someone who quit maturing around the age of 13. Look, you don’t have to go to olive oil tastings or stock up on artisanal salts. But it is attractive to many women to be with a man who is willing to try new foods, and whose tastes have evolved past the blue and yellow box of mac n’ cheese.
Did this meal appear on your dinner table five nights last week? You might want to diversify your diet.
#2. Tipping badly
Working in a service industry like a restaurant or bar is a double-edged sword. It sucks. Big time. Rude patrons, bad tips, greasy industrial kitchens, aching feet. It also makes you a courteous diner for the rest of your life. If your date has ever had the pleasure of serving an 8 person table for three hours and then receiving an eight percent tip (the memory still makes me mad), she’s going to be really turned off if you tip a wait person poorly, or are rude to them in any way. To impress your date (and be a decent human being), make good eye contact with your server, listen when they talk to you, say please and thank you, and smile when appropriate. .
#3. Being tech-obsessed
Keeping your phone on the table while eating a meal; exclusively texting to make plans while refusing to use the phone the way it was originally intended; interrupting any and every activity to take a phone call or return a text; obsessively checking Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and whatever else the kids are using these days. Most people understand that it is irritating when someone can’t put their phone away, but in a romantic situation, it can be an actual deal-breaker. What about keeping that tacky Bluetooth attached to your head all day? Or sitting on the couch with your tablet at your left, your laptop at your right, the TV on, and your phone resting on your lap? When you’re on a date, or with an established sweetheart, put away the gadgets and give the best of yourself.
Put down the phone, pick up a conversation. (photo credit) .
#4. Having questionable friends
No one’s circle of friends is perfect. Everyone has a friend or two who is, well, sort of a liability? Maybe you met him in first grade and your history together has made you stick with him all these years. Maybe he’s the type who is really fun to hang out with one-on-one but he just turns into a douchebag when other people are around. Whatever your reason for keeping around such a friend, having a love interest meet him early on in the game is a mistake. Evaluating your friends is an easy way to judge your fitness as a potential mate. If a woman notices that all of her guy’s friends are misogynistic cads, she’ll wonder if he isn’t hiding the same traits, or if he just has terrible judgment. No need to discard friends that you value. But don’t introduce your lady love to Brett-he-only-acts-that-way-when-he’s-had-tequila until things are solid between you.
About the Author: If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked. That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com .