Dappered

Affordable Men's Style

  • Don’t Miss Anything
  • Start Here
  • Essentials Shop
  • Latest Deals
  • Style Scenarios
  • Reviews

How to leave a woman a voicemail.

June 27, 2013 By Beth | Heads up: Buying via our links results in us getting a commission (not always, but just about), which helps keep the lights on around here. We also take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

“…but here’s my number! So call me maybe…” Everybody, sing along!

You're hovering a bit there bucko.

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked.  That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com .

 

Hi Beth,

I am literally the worst at voicemail. I can walk up to a woman I’m interested in and have a great conversation (as long as she’s game); I have no problems talking on the phone. But if someone doesn’t pick up, there’s just something about being recorded on a voicemail that turns me back into an awkward 13 year old.

I generally try to talk as little as possible to give myself the smallest chance of sounding like an Arrested Development character, “Hi, it’s Nathan, call me back!” or if I have more to say, I just hang up and send a quick text with details of what I called about and asking for a return call. Do you have any other recommendations? I think caring less would be a good start but that’s easier said than done.

– Nathan

 

Hi Nathan,

I’m going to put on my crabby geezer hat for a moment. Here we go–honestly, I’m surprised anyone has any phone skills anymore. With the way we send texts and emails and tweets, humans have zero practice at dynamic human interaction. It’s a wonder we can speak at all…okay, done bitching.

Leaving a voicemail is awkward because you know you’re basically talking to yourself. There’s no interaction, no response. It can get weird in a hurry. I think it’s fine to leave a brief message for the woman you’re interested in. Even if you have more to say, keep it short. “Hi, it’s Nathan, I was just checking in to see if we’re still on for brunch tomorrow. Talk to you soon.” You can work out details like time, place, who’s driving, etc, when you actually connect. If even managing that much turns you into Rainman, write down what you want to say ahead of time. I’m serious. I first started talking to boys on the phone around the age of 13 or 14. I used to get so nervous that I’d write down a list of topics I could possibly turn to if the conversation stalled. Nerd alert! But it helped. I felt less stressed starting the phone call because I knew I had a backup plan. That doesn’t mean the conversation wasn’t awkward. Oh, it was painful–thankfully I was too green to notice. Anyway, go ahead and write yourself a script (hopefully you’re better at conversing than the 13-year-old Beth). Who’s going to know?

There are few movie scenes more painful to watch than Mikey self-destructing.

If your message ends up going south, cut and run. Don’t linger with–“Wow, that sounded really dumb,” or “I didn’t mean to imply we’ll be sleeping together tonight.” End the phone message on a cheerful note and bail. Don’t call back. Ignore the neurotic impulse to explain yourself. Attempts to “fix it” always sound worse than whatever bone-headed thing you initially said. I agree, Nathan, caring less about the outcomes of our actions, especially when it comes to love, would make meeting people, dating people, and committing to people, much easier. It would also make life less rich. Part of the reward of finding someone you want to be with is how vulnerable you first felt (and probably still feel at times) when you were trying to make it happen. Putting yourself out there, risking embarrassment (which is actually guaranteed, truth be told)–it’s the price you have to pay to find love.

Back to being a geezer…I know that texting is how people connect “these days.” It’s unavoidable. But you have to talk to the person you’re dating–or interested in dating–at some point.  So why not get some practice for your in-person interactions by actually speaking on the phone once in awhile, instead of making all plans via text? Awkward phone calls used to be a rite of passage (see 13-year-old Beth). Let’s bring it back, gentlemen.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send it to: askawoman@dappered.com

Filed Under: Women Tagged With: Ask A Woman, dating

Continue the Conversation …

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Send us a tweet, join the discussion on Facebook, or hit us up on Instagram!

Don’t Miss Anything

Subscribe via email to get articles in your inbox or add Dappered on Flipboard. You can also follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Or subscribe to push notifications to get alerts immediately.

New Here?

Well, welcome to Dappered. Here are what we consider the most useful posts on the site if you're looking to put a little more effort into your appearance. Just want to see our favorite menswear products? Shop our essentials here.

Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Sharp, dark, and handsome for a nice night out.

Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More

Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More

There is a peculiarity about the Rhone pack deals though.

BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful

BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful

Totes, sneakers, and Nordy Rack is worth a look.

Follow Dappered on Instagram »

Men’s Fashion or Affordable Style?

Men's Fashion or Affordable Style?

Fashion is temporary and expensive. Style is timeless and affordable. Dappered® helps you work the retail system so that you can be comfortable, look sharp, and save money.

Want to share a great product? Email Us.
For a fit perspective, see Joe's measurements.
Make sure to read our affiliate disclosure.

CONNECT WITH DAPPERED

Thanks! Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Most Popular on Dappered

  • BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful
  • Style Scenario: It’s still winter. (Nothing over $100 edition)
  • The Dappered Space: 5 Essential Home Decor Items for any grown-guy’s home
  • The 2023 Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Her
  • Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More
  • Spier launches new $298 Half Canvas Suit Line – The Best Wedding Suit under $300?

Popular Topics

  • Best dress shirts to own
  • Best looking watches under $100
  • Best men’s dress shoes under $200
  • Nike Killshot sneaker alternatives
  • How to wear a suit without a tie
  • Suitsupply store review
  • Suitsupply Blue Line review
  • J. Crew Factory Thompson suit review
  • How much does it cost to tailor a suit?
  • Dopp kit essentials
  • Brown shoes with gray pants
  • Men’s style buying guide

Copyright © 2023 Dappered.com | Dappered, LLC | Dappered® is a registered trademark of Dappered, LLC

Hat tip: Magazine Pro Theme On Genesis Framework

Dappered does not collect or sell its users personal information | Disclosures: Privacy and Affiliates, Gilt.com, FTC

WPE

We work with partners that use cookies to understand how visitors use our site. Find out more.