Dappered

Affordable Men's Style

  • Don’t Miss Anything
  • Start Here
  • Essentials Shop
  • Latest Deals
  • Style Scenarios
  • Reviews

Meeting women is hard, part 12,975

February 21, 2013 By Beth | Heads up: Buying via our links may result in us getting a commission. Also, we take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

You're hovering a bit there bucko.Ask A Woman: When college isn’t like Animal House…

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com

 

Hi Beth,

I am a college student, and I’m having trouble meeting women. Yes, I know this sounds crazy because a college campus seems like a perfect place to meet women. First of all, I am not fond of the whole partying environment, and I don’t really care for going to the bars or clubs in my college town – I can’t stand the smell of smoke. I am an engineering major, so females are scarce in my classes. I am involved in a few extracurricular activities: UAV design team, band, Bible study. None of these are ideal for meeting women, however. I certainly see plenty of attractive women throughout campus, particularly in the library, but I do not know how to approach them. I just have never brought myself to walk up to a random gal and start talking to her. The fear of rejection does not bother me too much, but I do not want to seem like a creep. Plus, I want to maximize my chances. My main question, then, is how should I approach a woman that I am interested in?

Thanks,

Austin

 

Hi Austin,

Thanks for writing in–though difficulty meeting women is certainly not a new topic here at Ask A Woman, your particular situation is, so I’m happy to be able to address it.

I think we all have to concede that college is a really weird time in most people’s lives. It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but real world rules do not apply. Case in point: only in college is it considered acceptable and normal to get super wasted, hit on a similarly wasted female you’ve just met, and then try to get her to sleep with you, while approaching someone in the library when both of you have your wits about you is considered creepy and odd. Any other time in your life, the exact opposite is true.

If you were a 26 year old, wanting to know how to meet random women you see out and about, I’d tell you to strap on a pair, approach the woman honestly and openly (“Hi, I noticed you sitting here and wondered if you could use a study break—I’m headed to get coffee, wanna join me?”), risk rejection and just do it. BUT. Your instinct that college women are different is right on. Some women may be open to your advances but I’d wager that MOST college women will not be. It’s probably because many people in college feel they don’t need help meeting potential dates; they have classes and parties and clubs so they’d rather go out with someone they meet in the course of these experiences, than “force” the issue with a complete stranger.

Can I have your number? Can I have it? Can I?

But you have a different situation. You’re not in the party scene, and you’re in a major that attracts relatively few females. I have to say I’m surprised that band and Bible study haven’t panned out for you, but I’ll take your word on that. Here are my best two suggestions: 1) seek out new experiences. Not a fan of theater but have a friend who is in a new play on campus? Go. And after the performance ask him to take you along to the cast party. If you have two hours to spare each week, you can get a regular volunteering gig—most colleges have an office devoted to connecting students with volunteer opportunities. Pick something unrelated to your major—walking dogs at an animal shelter, helping kids with homework at an after school program—but that still taps into your other interests. You may get a date this way, but even if you don’t, it sounds like you need to get out of your comfort zone and meet people you wouldn’t otherwise encounter, and this would certainly accomplish that.

My second suggestion is to wait. Wait until after college. It may seem like wasted time, but it’s not. Have fun with your friends, get kick ass grades, and enjoy the lack of obligations. If you happen to meet someone, that’s wonderful, but if you don’t, no worries! You have plenty of time. And if you hate both of these suggestions, then you’ll have to risk being the creepy guy.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send it to: askawoman@dappered.com

Filed Under: Women Tagged With: Ask A Woman, dating

Continue the Conversation …

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Send us a tweet, join the discussion on Facebook, or hit us up on Instagram!

Don’t Miss Anything

Subscribe via email to get articles in your inbox or add Dappered on Flipboard. You can also follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Or subscribe to push notifications to get alerts immediately.

New Here?

Well, welcome to Dappered. Here are what we consider the most useful posts on the site if you're looking to put a little more effort into your appearance. Just want to see our favorite menswear products? Shop our essentials here.

The Dappered Space: From Style Scenario to Styled Room

The Dappered Space: From Style Scenario to Styled Room

Maybe the white pants have to go after Labor Day, but the light rugs don’t.

7 Gins to Beat the Heat

7 Gins to Beat the Heat

From tasty mixers to straight sippers, here are 6 gins (for those 21+) to finish out summer with.

10 Best Bets for $75 or Less – Wool Trousers, a Different Kind of Floral Tie, & More

10 Best Bets for $75 or Less – Wool Trousers, a Different Kind of Floral Tie, & More

Plus the top of the line in terms of protecting your suede shoes from the elements.

Follow Dappered on Instagram »

Men’s Fashion or Affordable Style?

Men's Fashion or Affordable Style?

Fashion is temporary and expensive. Style is timeless and affordable. Dappered® helps you work the retail system so that you can be comfortable, look sharp, and save money.

Want to share a great product? Email Us.
For a fit perspective, see Joe's measurements.
Make sure to read our affiliate disclosure.

CONNECT WITH DAPPERED

Thanks! Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Most Popular on Dappered

  • 20% off Spier Linen Suit Separates, Old Navy’s $32 Blazer, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful
  • Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Extra 20% off BR Final Sale, Timex at Todd Snyder, & More
  • Steal Alert: Extra 30% off Allen Edmonds Sale Items and Factory 2nds
  • J. Crew 30% off + New Arrivals for Fall
  • Steal Alert: Target 30% off Clothes + $10 off $50 stacking deal
  • 10 Best Bets for $75 or Less – Wool Trousers, a Different Kind of Floral Tie, & More

Popular Topics

  • Best dress shirts to own
  • Best looking watches under $100
  • Best men’s dress shoes under $200
  • Nike Killshot sneaker alternatives
  • How to wear a suit without a tie
  • Suitsupply store review
  • Suitsupply Blue Line review
  • J. Crew Factory Thompson suit review
  • How much does it cost to tailor a suit?
  • Dopp kit essentials
  • Brown shoes with gray pants
  • Men’s style buying guide

Copyright © 2022 Dappered.com | Dappered, LLC | Dappered® is a registered trademark of Dappered, LLC

Hat tip: Magazine Pro Theme On Genesis Framework

Dappered does not collect or sell its users personal information | Disclosures: Privacy and Affiliates, Gilt.com, FTC

WPE

We work with partners that use cookies to understand how visitors use our site. Find out more.