Originally Published 4/25/12
As always, there will most certainly be exceptions. Leave any additions/adjustments in the comments section below.
Having two or three great, white dress shirts > Always having your favorite in the damn hamper
Tattersall or Windowpane > Pinstripes
Tieless + Jacket > Shirt + Tie but no jacket
Wurkin Stiffs > Regular Collar Stays
Rolling your sleeves up the Italian way > Having them unroll all the time, on their own
Wearing a suit for no reason > Feeling weird when you “have” to wear a suit.
Navy Suit > Black Suit
Shadow Plaids > Pinstripes
Solid knit ties > Solid, shiny silk ties
Cotton pocket squares > Silk pocket squares
Those paper-clip like sliding things > pins that hold a shirt together
Hi! Welcome! > Can I help you find anything? You sure? You really sure? I don’t think you’re sure.
Black Friday Online/Cyber Monday > Black Friday in store
Amazon Prime > Just about any other form of online shopping
Mid-day, mid-week, in-store shopping > The weekend.
Buying your own tux > Renting
Regular collar > Winged Collar
Well shined black balmorals > Patent Leather formal shoes
Having somewhere to go in your own tux > Trying to make up reasons to put it on.
Finally tying a bow tie with ease > Swearing up a motherf*ckpants storm.
Letting your hair do its thing > Trying to force it to do something else
Less Product > More Product
Matte Finish > High Shine
Getting your hair cut by the same person, on a schedule > “How long is the wait?”
Occasionally checking the inside AND outside of your nose for stray hairs > Scaring children
Having a consistent “laundry day” – Always having half a load damp in the washer.
Realizing what the steam button on your iron does > Using only heat and taking forever
Ironing with a little starch > sticking just to steam
Becoming so fluent in ironing you can do it blind > Having to pay careful attention while ironing
Getting a steamer > Having to get your jackets pressed every once in awhile
Good Liquor Neat/on ice > Liquor mixed with coke or tonic
Enjoying it > Shots
Never drinking to get drunk > Jäeger
Sitting at the bar > Sitting at a random table
Club Soda + Bitters > Having one drink too many
A really good Irish coffee w/ fresh whipped cream > Is that reddi-wip?
Making your favorite cocktail by eye > Having to measure
Cooking with an open bottle of wine > Cooking
Making your date dinner by eye > Having to follow a recipe step by step
Making your date breakfast by eye > Ahem.
Finding your own tailor > Depending on department store / Dry Cleaner alterations
Getting your shoes shined at the airport > sitting in the terminal twiddling your thumbs
Wearing a navy cotton blazer w/ dark denim > Thinking you need more contrast
Cognac or light brown shoes > Dark brown shoes
Wearing black shoes with a medium to light grey suit > Thinking you should always wear brown with grey.
Getting a car you really like, at a price you can afford > Being poor due to your expensive dream car
Being in shape and having decently made clothes > Being out of shape and having designer/bespoke clothes
Getting out on the dance floor/singing a song at karaoke* > Refusing to even try
Discretion, & not firing unless fired upon > Being that guy who likes to kid/insult everyone
Not caring how or what type of clothing others are wearing > Measuring your own style against others
* Johnny Cash or the B-52s are pretty good for those of us who can’t carry a tune. Top Photo Credit: Ell Brown
No kidding about Amazon Prime!
Nice list!
Couldn’t agree more on the pocket squares. I’m completely incapapable of getting a sharp, half-inch above the pocket, single-line fold with a silk pocket square.
got to go with the poof with silk, but I like the fold better so I agree
I don’t understand why I’m so terrible at ironing…. but I’m so terrible at ironing.
Yes, agreed. If anyone is able to do this, they should get a Nobel prize.
Hey Joe, what was the name of that no-forehead-shine facial cream you review recently? Maybe a few months ago…can’t find the specific post.
Just clicked through to the “How to roll up your sleeves” link, and I was wondering if anyone knew where I could find a tie similar to the one the Prez is wearing here:
http://www.petergreenberg.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/obama1.jpg?
Any input would be appreciated. Thanks!
Whats the rule on pocket square fabric in comparison to tie and suit fabric?
i love dappered thanks for all your articles !
This stuff right here: https://dappered.com/2012/01/in-person-forehead-shine-preventer-for-guys/ Doesn’t take a lot either to get the job done. Still got a ton left in the bottle.
Question on the Wukrin Stiffs that everyone loves here. I got some and, wearing them as delivered, for some of my larger collared shirts (CT mainly), they work well, but for my normal ones (Brooks Bros slim), they make it look a bit silly. Do you guys bend the stays to get a more natural look? Note that I’m using them mainly for when I’m not wearing a tie, as I don’t have trouble with my collars when I’m buttoning up with tie.
I read this at 6 o’clock in the morning. My scrolling finger was not ready…
I don’t think I’ll ever wear a knit tie, but everything else is spot on.
Great list Joe. I agree with most of them.
Great article. I totally agree about the navy blazer with denim. You can put contrast into your outfit with a good choice of shirt.
And an addition for us balding guys: A shaved head > any kind of comb-over, or forward sweep, or ‘power doughnut’ you might have considered 🙂
Good list. I totally agree with the blazer and denim thing, you can put contrast in to your outfit with a good choice of shirt.
One extra for us balding guys: Shaved head > comb over, sweep forward, ‘power doughnut’ or anything else.
Not that he is the final authority, but Spoopoker from StyleForum (who imho crushes the HOF thread regularly) says to fly in the face of conventional fabric-matching/contrast for the most part and instead have your primary focus be the color composition it brings to the table.
There are certainly others that would disagree.
Ironing during MNF > Ironing without football
wearing black shoes with a navy suit > thinking its wrong to wear black with blue
Nice list Joe! Entertaining and insightful. Glad to know I already do most of these, except ironing. I avoid it like I do telemarketers
I can’t think of anything you missed, awesome list, worth the scrolling!
I don’t really ever drink to get drunk, but sometimes it still happens. :/
“Not caring how or what type of clothing others are wearing > Measuring your own style against others”
awesome. the best point on the list!
“Making your favorite cocktail by eye > Having to measure”
Uh…this is…not a thing. You can’t make a good cocktail by eye unless you are a master Japanese bartender of insane skill. Everyone else measures, at every nice cocktail bar you’re going to go to. MAYBE they’ll use pourspouts, but that’s not “by eye”, they’re still measuring.
What’s the call regarding short-sleeved button-up shirts with ties and/or jackets? Is that okay? And what about taking the jacket off and wearing around only the short-sleeved shirt and tie? For hot-a$$ days perhaps?
Also, no matter what anyone says, I think that other way of rolling your sleeves up is bull. I’ve never been able to get a decent roll above my elbow. It’s more like bunching up my sleeves–like a cartoon guy getting ready for a fistfight.
Look silly how?
Personally, I hate short sleeved button ups. It always reminds me of Dilbert and I’ve never seen it pulled off in a way that looks nice. During the summer months when its hot out, just roll up the sleeves (the Italian way lol) & unloosen your tie
Nice, Joe! Advice to live by.
Cheers,
Ben
The collar standing nearly straight perpendicular to the ground and looking terribly unnatural. Maybe it’s the cut of the BB shirt / point collar that does it…?
uh…I don’t think he meant adding exactly one ounce by eye, rather just eyeballing the amount of each ingredient, which is what pretty much everyone I know does to make a cocktail. Then again, I don’t hang out with too many master Japanese bartenders
Um…what?
“uh…I don’t think he meant adding exactly one ounce by eye, rather just eyeballing the amount of each ingredient, which is what pretty much everyone I know does to make a cocktail. ”
A cocktail made in this manner will suck. Fine for a highball, but not a cocktail.
Never with ties. With a jacket, in the summer, in a casual situation? Sure, fuck it. It’s the summer, dude.
1) Those little paper squares to wipe the shine off your forehead (or dome if you’re bald) are a great thing to have in your man bag at all times. The Body Shop has tea tree ones, but there are some at Target (search the women’s makeup section) for about $1.50 that seem to do the trick just as well.
2) Buying a leather jacket that’s really tight, which breaks in to fit you over time > buying a leather jacket that fits well now, and gets stretched out later (I’ve made this expensive mistake before)
3) Buying backups of those items you deem perfect basics (jeans, white shirts, etc.) so you have them down the road > finding out your favorite cut/style/finish has been discontinued when it comes time to throw in new starters.
4) Spot treating your jeans and chambray shirts, eliminating smell with a spray bottle of vodka, and not throwing them in the washing machine > using the washing machine and watching them fade and wear out
5) Good man bag > stuffing your pockets > resorting to cargo pants
6) Putting on cotton or tropical wool slacks to go out on summer nights > me having to look at your chicken legs while I’m eating my chicken wings.
You should turn this list into a book.
Excellent stuff.Only, liquor aficionados will tell you that a bit of ice or water actually allows the flavor to open up more so that you can taste it better.
And starch wears out your shirts and is unnecessary regardless.
Regardless, I love this website.
You can slide those suckers out. The magnet, and adjust to make it look less stiff and straight.
Yes. A hundred times yes.
I think everyone is right here. Michael, our official bartender, measures of course. But at home, when I make a manhattan or martini? I just give it a whirl on my own.
For guests though, I do try and measure. Depending on how far into the evening we are.
It’s in a way, like cooking for yourself. When you just know what goes in without breaking out the measuring cups? Kinda cool.
but not for $26
Great list. But what about blue suit vs grey suit? Now what will you do?!
reminds me of a GeekSquad type dude
Love the list. Obviously can’t agree with everything (everyone has their differences in opinion) but otherwise great work.
About the rolling up the sleeves. I know it looks sleeker to have them rolled up the Euro way, but my problem with that way is it looks fake. To me, rolled up sleeves mean you’re a busy man with shit to do and you need those sleeves out of the way. Having perfectly rolled sleeves looks intentionally stylistic. This person’s not really that busy because they clearly thought about how they want their sleeves to look, and then sat there and took the time to make them that way.
One of these ‘rule’ is in contrast with your overall philosophy.
“Getting a car you really like, at a price you can afford > Being poor due to your expensive dream car”
Which should really be – “Getting into a well engineered European car and slip away > Getting a car you really like, at a price you can afford, or even a Prius”.If I can buy an expensive car, that’s because I have more money than that in my bank account. After all you don’t want to be poor due to the the expensive threads, accessories, and single malts you spent your money on!
DE wet shaving > shaving with crappy disposables or paying crazy amounts for refill cartridges
“If one can buy an expensive car, that’s because they must have more money than that in their bank account”
— You’re assuming away what I think is exactly Joe’s point… don’t buy a car you can’t afford, get something you like that’s within your budget.
Amen. This saved my face from looking like the moon.
For what it’s worth, Put This On has a photo of one of the Ascot Chang shirtmakers working with his sleeve rolled up quite loosely. He looks fine.
http://putthison.com/post/21787283422/the-custom-shirts-series-part-vii-talking-with-ascot
High shine > Matte
Otherwise great article.
This has to be one of the best Dappered entries I’ve read. Well done, Joe.
Also, I’d never heard of the “italian way” of rolling up my sleeves. Tried it this evening at dinner. I liked it.
This list is outstanding. The ONLY thing I would argue is black shoes with light grey suits…personal preference maybe but (the right) brown trumps black anyday.
Wing collars correctly worn with wings in front of tie > normal collars > wing collars worn incorrectly with wings behind the tie.
Not sure I agree that shadow plaids>pinstripes is an eternal style rule, at least as far as suits go. I’d agree at present it’s true.
Great list, mate.
Any ideas on finding a good tailor?
Perfect practice makes perfect.
It only takes a few seconds to measure your drinks and it means that your guests are going to have a better drink when you’ve been making it right for yourself. On the other hand having a Vermouth heavy Manhattan leaves your guests trying to knock back a drink that tastes like a Bear Grylls sock special.
Looking comfortable with bar tools looks cool. It says I care about quality, and the process. It also says I do this all the time. Like effortlessly wearing a suit.
In my world,
A black blazer will always, always be > a navy blazer.
Revisited this via your link today on Twitter. Some additions:
High quality, recently roasted, minimally processed coffee beans from a reputable roaster (e.g. Counter Culture, Verve, ThirtyThirty, FlatTrack, Madcap) > Starbucks
Dirt > Folgers &c. (Or at least that’s my opinion)
Coffee made by the cup (French press, Aeropress, Chemex, V60, &c.) > drip machine
Measuring coffee for the previous by gram and temping the water > not doing either
Having the timing of your pourover down by heart > having to look it up every time
Frequenting your favorite coffee shop, bar, clothing store, &c. > going somewhere random
Knowing your favorite baristas, bartenders, and salespeople by name > being unknown
Yes, yes, yes! And making lather with a brush and cake of soap > canned muck.
Yeah, but I can’t get past the fact that I’m not showing any cuff. 😐
I don’t know about you guys, but I enjoy doing shots of Macallan 30 Year…