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Dappered Classics: The Suggestion – Sit at the Bar

May 14, 2011 By Joe | Heads up: Buying via our links may result in us getting a commission. Also, we take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

Sitting at the bar > Sitting at a table

Originally Published 1/21/11

I’ve never understood open seats at a bar inside a decent restaurant.  There should be no reason why it’s considered a holding pen or an unwanted last resort for dining.  Unless you’re in the early stages of googly eyed puppy love with your significant other, try sitting at the bar.  Be kind to the bartender, enjoy the people watching, and follow these few simple suggestions:

  • Don’t stick with your usual beer or drink.  Experiment a bit.
  • Order a couple green salads and a simple appetizer.  Space is wonderfully limited.  This makes it easier.
  • Ignore the TVs unless there’s a game both you and your date are interested in
  • Don’t bug the bartender with too many questions.  They’re working.  Observe but don’t pester.
  • Be open to friendly conversation from your neighbors.  But don’t initiate tons of yakking.
  • And if you are eating?  Absolutely still tip 20%.  More if the bartender is excellent.

It could be argued that sitting at a decently busy bar is much more intimate than sitting across from your date at some expansive table.  You’re close, sharing food, and you get to create your own conversation cocoon.

It’s a blast.  Give it a shot.  And remember… if some oddly charming character named “Axel” finds out you’re originally from the Midwest and then proceeds to strike up a conversation about how Usinger’s makes the best mail order kielbasa?*

Roll with it.

*Scout’s honor this happened to me a few months back.

Filed Under: Dappered Classics, Drink, Etc., Women Tagged With: bar, bar rules, Beer, date, Liquor, sitting at the bar, suggestions

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Comments

  1. Libraries Rule. says

    January 21, 2011 at 11:32 AM

    Don’t sit at the bar. Stand. It’s much, much healthier. And your clothes will hang off your body more elegantly. Skip the stinky alcohol and go straight for the vegetable juice. Better yet, skip the bar altogether — everyone’s fake; there’s no point impressing them.

  2. Reher Thomas says

    January 21, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    this might be the place to ask a, probably to you guys, silly question.
    As a european, i’ve always been amazed by the amount of money the american is supposed to give as a tip. to me 20% is ridiculously high, and it’d be nice if anyone could enlighten me.
    Is it so that you get payed less, and that tips make up the majority of your pay, or is it something else?
    I’ve always thought (and as far as i know, most people around here) that they get payed a fixed amount, and that this is calculated in the price.
    of course it’s a good thing to tip if service is excellent, but by no means 10 or 20% .

    thanks!

    ps: nice article as usual!

  3. Jason Gebhardt says

    January 21, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    Love sitting at the bar with my wife and sharing a meal. We normally get a couple of salads and an appetizer. I find that I eat less and enjoy myself more when eating at the bar. Plus, the barkeep is more likely to help you out as you talk them up through the night.

  4. Akshay Anikhindi says

    January 21, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    @Reher Most places pay very little because they incorporate/”leave space for” tips in the salary. Your first notion is correct.

  5. Brian says

    January 21, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    I worked as a server during high school and college and I will confirm that ALL of your money is made on tips. My bi-weekly paycheck was often $0.00.

    I am not sure of the exact hourly rate, but it is somewhere between $1-3, and assuming all tips are reported, that money usually goes toward taxes resulting in a $0.00 paycheck.

    PLEASE tip well. Otherwise, your server is basically working for free.

  6. DaveS says

    January 21, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    I dont get out to restaurants as often as I’d like, so I dont care to have my meal choice dictated by where I sit. If I’m in the mood for a steak or a pasta dish I dont want to settle for something else just so I can sit at the bar. If the bar is roomy or uncrowded though I will sit there and enjoy the people watching.

  7. HRT says

    January 21, 2011 at 3:09 PM

    Usingers does make the best kielbasa.

  8. Tergiversator_Maximus says

    January 21, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    That is an excellent question and it really explains why some Europeans have a stereotype of Americans as being big spenders and some Americans have a stereotype of Europeans as being cheap.

    Servers and bartenders are typically paid well under minimum wage (which is pretty low anyway at $7.25 anyway) and in my home state of Pennsylvania, the minimum wage for waiters is a paltry $2.83/hour. If wages plus tip don’t add up to $7.25/hour, then the restaurant is required to make up the difference, but that’s still not a whole lot of money. I usually tip between 15 and 20 percent, though at my favorite bars I often tip much more, and I get great service in return and the bartenders either know my name or recognize my face.

    If I’m at a diner and only get coffee, which usually only costs $1.50 or so at most, I won’t tip less than $2, just because they’re still coming by frequently to fill my mug, especially if I stay there for a while. Some may call it over-tipping, but I believe in rewarding good service and those people work hard and have to deal with a lot of obnoxious people.

  9. Jimmy says

    January 21, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    I learned this from my dad a long time ago. He always sits at the bar, for drink and/or dinner. Doing this he has been able to extend his network, meet interesting people and have a much more enjoyable time (especially if you’re single).

  10. Tergiversator_Maximus says

    January 21, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    I was actually just at a steak house on New Years’ Day and it was packed. Rather than wait 45 minutes for a table, my friend and I asked if we could just sit at the bar and the hostess actually even said that that was a great way to beat the wait. We had great service, in spite of how busy a day it was (it’s not like the bartender is out waiting on tables), and we had finished our meals and paid, while people who had arrived at the same time were still waiting on tables. I couldn’t help but feel a little smug. Moral of the story: don’t just bail, ask to sit at the bar.

  11. Fitz says

    January 21, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    I’m a FT bartender, this is a great article. If you’re in a decent restaurant, here a couple advantages.

    -Faster, more attentive service (bartender rarely leaves for more than 30-40 seconds)
    -Faster, stronger drinks
    -Ability to get a drink EXACTLY the way you want it
    -Networking
    -People Watching
    -The ability to become a regular and get the best service possible (special orders, free drinks, etc)

    And tip at least 20% the first time we meet. Otherwise, you’ll never get ay of the aforementioned again. Quite the contrary, actually 🙂

    All Europeans: tip at least 20% or stay home. Waiters make $2.63/hour, which comes out as $0 at the end of every week. Bartenders usually make a little more.

    Last rule: The more intricate the drink is to make, the more you should tip.

    Cheers!

  12. Reher Thomas says

    January 21, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Thanks for the clarification everyone!
    i’ve not been to the USA yet, but will remember this when i do go there.

  13. Mindfeck says

    January 21, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    I think tips are big scams, especially after enjoying meals in Asia and Europe without worrying about tips. Waiters are just as unskilled as fast food workers and there’s no good reason for them to make over $10/hour. If a waiter is waiting 5 tables an hour, they should make $2 per table. However, a nice restaurant with bills of $100 per table would be $100 an hour for the waiter.

  14. Ben says

    January 21, 2011 at 9:15 PM

    I’ve also worked in a restaurant for a few summers and although up here in Canada you definitely still make money on your paycheck, the bulk of your income does come from tips, and yes, this is expected. Server’s would not survive in North America just on their paychecks alone. My understanding of most european situations is that they are paid much more, but tips aren’t expected, so it somewhat balances out.

    It’s also incredibly important to note that in most sizable restaurants, that 20% tip isn’t just going straight into your server’s pocket. The server will have to tip out the kitchen, the bar, the busser (if there is one) and the hosts. These amounts that they tip out can be very high, and certainly add up. Many people don’t realize this, which works towards my view that we should have mandatory restaurant service, akin to mandatory military service for all. The world would be a better place if we all had to see what it is like dealing with how obnoxious we can all be sometimes.

    Cheers,
    Ben

  15. Ben says

    January 21, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    This is a ridiculous, uneducated perspective.

    Have you ever worked in a restaurant? I can tell you that while no it is certainly not rocket science, serving is an incredibly demanding job. At least, if the restaurant you work for is at all concerned with quality of service. If you’re dealing with 5-6 tables, all with customers of different ages, with different attitudes, and with sometimes 4-5 or more people per table, it is an incredibly fast-paced job that requires minute attention to detail, and an infinite reserve of positive attitude, and the ability to grit your teeth when people are being ridiculous, smile and take it.

    Most people don’t appreciate what goes into every meal that drops down magically in front of them at a table, and only ever think about the servers when something goes wrong, and then they quite often fly off the handle. You wouldn’t believe how nice it is when somebody actually notices and appreciates what servers do. They’re almost always those who have worked in a restaurant. Not to mention how downright miserable many people are when they’re going out. I always am excited to eat out, and I simply don’t understand how many people apparently find it unpleasant.

    I know this is a bit of a rant, but I feel that your comment simply reflects laziness and cheapness with not having to “worry” about tips. Calculating 15% is really easy. Move the decimal once, to get 10% and then halve this. Bam. Easy.

    I also find that people who are the most complementary and appreciative of what servers do for them are always those who enjoy their times out the most. It’s a self-feeding cycle.

    Cheers,
    Ben

  16. Tergiversator_Maximus says

    January 21, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    Bless you, sir. It takes a strong man to put up with all of that nonsense. My philosophy is always take care of the people who take care of your food.

  17. Mindfeck says

    January 21, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    I have worked at a dining hall in college and in fast food. I know what waiters actually have to do. In fancy restaurants, the waiter simply tells people what is available, and sometimes brings the food. It is no faster paced than working in a dining hall or in fast food, where you have to deal with the same people but there are no huge tips.

    You think that waiters are worth so much more? And waiters in higher priced restaurants should make so much more money?

    Yes, it’s easy to calculate a tip, but it’s a hidden cost that greatly increases the cost of your meal. If you go in for a $32 steak, after tax and tip that’s $40.

    I do appreciate good waiters, and tip them more, maybe 20%, but I still think that most waiters are grossly overpaid. They also think they’re entitled to 15% at the minimum, or you’re a horrible person. If they don’t make the experience pleasant, they shouldn’t be rewarded, but I still feel pressured to give around 15%.

  18. Joe says

    January 21, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    Gloves up guys. And Mindfeck, make your comments a little more tactful. Dappered is a pissing match free zone. For the record, I rolled my eyes at your comment when I read it. I thought it was purposely inflammatory. If you wince at a $6 tip for a $32 steak, I feel bad for your dates.

  19. Tim says

    January 21, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    I agree with you 100%, Ben.

    Like it or not, tipping is part of American culture and I see it as part of being an adult.

    You don’t like to tip? Then don’t go to ‘Big Boy’ places. Stick with McDonalds and, while you are there, buy a happy meal because it comes with a toy.

  20. Tim D. says

    January 22, 2011 at 12:41 AM

    Did you meet Axel Rose at a bar? He’s from the Midwest.

  21. Mindfeck says

    January 22, 2011 at 2:56 AM

    Oh yeah, I’m the inflammatory one. I never expressed any problem with tipping, just waiters who act entitled to it. Like that bartender above who demanded over 20% or else. And I disagree with the idea that waiters at less expensive restaurants make much less than waiters at expensive restaurants. People should get paid for their work, that’s logical. Good thing my girlfriend agreed with me.

  22. Anonymous says

    January 23, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    You sir, are a jackass. Naturally, this is mearly my opinion, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

  23. NB says

    January 23, 2011 at 11:55 PM

    Do you realize how obvious it is that you have NO idea what you are talking about? You’re embarrassing yourself.

    I really, truly hope that someday you give waiting tables at a decent restaurant a try (and no, working at a dining hall in college does not count). It’s going to be hilarious when you realize just how much skill it requires…and that you don’t have it.

  24. Anonymous says

    January 26, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    You forget one thing, Dining Hall workers and fast food employees are paid minimum wage. Restaurant employees are usually paid $3.25 an hour due to the fact that they receive tips. So if they do cover 4 tables an hour and get $2 per table that is $11.25 per hour for their services; aka bringing you food and water and drinks. At DH and FF they slap a 35 cent burger patty on a 20 cent bun with an 8 cent piece of cheese and they get $8.

    The other thing I would like to point out is that the $32 steak is $32 because they have to pay the kitchen and the owner, waiters get very little of that.

  25. Anonymous says

    January 26, 2011 at 12:35 AM

    To add to what Joe has posted here, I add the following reasons for sitting at the bar:

    -I have found Bartenders are more honest about the menu. Servers can be asked to push something that isn’t selling well, bartenders usually are not.

    -Sitting at the bar is like walking into a living encyclopedia. From stories of life experience, to meeting famous people, to learning about hot spots or events going on in a town, you find these out at the bar, not at a table.

    -At the bar you will have the bartender within polite “I need something hand signal” range and can get things faster than a server who has 4 tables spread throughout the restaurant. Want some malt vinegar with your fish and chips? Boom you got it.

    -You want bartenders as your friend. They can serve as wingmen/wingwomen. Sometimes they are working on a creating a cocktail and they occasionally offer it to you complimentary in exchange for your feed back. If you build a relationship with them, they will let you in on secrets of the place (secret menu items).

  26. Andreas Duess says

    March 17, 2011 at 12:52 AM

    Late comment, but agreed, sitting at the bar can be utterly awesome. My wife and I frequently visit a small neighbourhood place, where we sit at the bar and chat with the chef in the kitchen, getting fed small plates of whatever he’s got ready.

    As far as tipping goes, I tend to tip more in cheap restaurants and less in expensive places. There’s a local dumpling place where, however hard you try, you will not be able to spend more than $25 a person, with excellent service. I’ve tipped 75% of the final bill there on occasion.

    However, if I am somewhere expensive I’d be damned if I add 25% to an expensive bottle of wine. I’ll still leave a decent tip, but it’ll be closer to 15%.

  27. Rich says

    May 14, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    I spent time in a restaurant as a host and I noticed the tipping out can also vary. Hosts didn’t get in on the tips but our wage was a lot higher. 

    Cheers,
    Rich

  28. Rich says

    May 14, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    I disagree but I can see where Mindfeck is coming from. Sometimes when service is downright terrible I’ll begrudgingly leave 15%. It takes a lot for me to leave 10%. Even then, you have to understand there is more to the job than just dropping off plates of food. That also goes into why waiters are paid in percentages of the bill and not a set salary a la fast food.
    Suppose you worked somewhere nice where perhaps the price of a meal can feed you for a month of the dollar menu. As a diner, perhaps all you see is the server approaching, taking orders, and dropping of courses, but let us look further behind that. 
    When the server took your order, he or she would have had detailed, personal knowledge of the entire menu and most likely could have recommended different things depending on your requests or needs (likes, dislikes, allergies), not a simple task if the menu changes daily! This starts prior to service where the entire staff may meet to go over changes to the menu, notes on guests who’ll be dining that evening and who’s table they’ll be at (if you’ve been there prior and mentioned anything important such as allergies, they should have made note of it), as well as other things to watch out for (if there is a surge in bookings at a certain time). All this goes into your server being personal, friendly, and helpful throughout your meal.

    Throughout service, your server must keep an eye on your table in case you’d like more water or a clean knife etc. The server also needs to note where you are in the meal to keep your unwanted wait time to a minimum and to keep the hosts informed when they can expect your table to open up.

    Throughout your meal your server would have also checked in with you to see how everything was. Perhaps s/he recommended something with carrots and you weren’t a fan, if it was a big enough deal, it would have been noted.

    Try juggling six different tables at once. Would you do this for minimum wage?

  29. Michael says

    May 14, 2011 at 4:00 PM

     his name would be spelled ‘Axl’ but while reading the article I also thought this.

  30. Glen says

    May 15, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    When you say your tip percentages, do you usually do before tax or after tax?

  31. Nick Montoya says

    June 3, 2011 at 2:32 AM

    I believe it’s generally done on the pre-tax amount, but the difference is obviously minimal (8% sales tax * 20% tip = 1.6% overtip).

  32. Dan says

    January 14, 2014 at 12:02 AM

    “By no means 10 or 20%?” Go back to Europe. I’m so sick of the fact that if we Americans don’t learn about your culture before we visit we are the “Ugly Americans” but its perfectly acceptable for you to leave horrible tips. Read up, minimum wage (which every tipped employee receives, we don’t get raises) is half of minimum wage. Don’t get me wrong, we do well, but don’t be surprised if your service is half ass after we hear your accent. There are a lot of groups that stereotypically don’t tip well but often surprise you. The Europeans are pretty much universally terrible, and, much like you, fucking arrogant about it.

  33. Dan says

    January 14, 2014 at 12:16 AM

    Not having worked in any of the restaurant Meccas (i.e. the French Laundry, Burn’s Steakhouse, etc.) I can say that I average $25/hour as a server, take home. Considering we generally don’t put in 40 hour weeks it is a middle class living. Maybe you should try looking at the person that is ensuring that you enjoy your meal as a professional, or consider moving to Europe of Asia. Or committing suicide, that actually sounds like a viable option for someone such as yourself.

  34. Dan says

    January 14, 2014 at 12:23 AM

    And, if you happen to meet someone at the bar the bartender may be able to give you a heads up if that person is someone that you would really want to spend time with.

    I had an amazing bartender who has since passed tell me that a woman I met on “ladies night” was probably not someone I would want to take home. I didn’t listen to his advice but DAMN was he right.

  35. Chris Jones says

    January 19, 2014 at 4:25 PM

    As long as the service is decent, I absolutely do. The unfortunate part is that if I leave a bad tip for poor service, the server thinks “What an asshole!” instead of the correct “I wonder what I did to upset them?”

    That’s the problem with tipping.

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