Ask A Woman: How to apply and when to use cologne
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
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Dear Beth,
I am a 21 year old college student just trying to find my way in the world. At this point in my life, if I’m going on a date, it’s a step up from going to the movies, you know? I’m wondering when it is appropriate and not appropriate to wear cologne? And, in situations that merit cologne-wearing, what is the best method of application?
Thanks,
James
Hi James,
I LOVE scents. Maybe that’s predictable for a chick, I don’t know. Either way, I’m SO excited to answer this question. Hurrah! And bless your heart for just trying to find your way in the world. I remember being 21…sort of…that was the semester I was drunk.
Elizabeth Taylor said, “I never face the day without perfume.” I think that’s a fine motto, and one I use myself. You can wear cologne in most situations. Work, school, running errands, dates, etc. Wearing a scent makes you feel more put together, more confident, more capable. Really, the only time it’s dumb to wear a scent is when you’re at the gym or out on the lake fishing or something like that. The key, as you wisely mentioned, is application.
First, it is much, much, much worse to wear too much cologne than none at all. We’ve all been made aware of someone’s arrival via scent, right? Someone walks into a room, you think you’re at the bottom of a Drakkar Noir bottle. Someone gets into your car and it’s like the 7th grade Spring Fling dance all over again. Fellas, don’t be that guy. As a woman, I feel that cologne is best when I’m standing close to a man, and as he moves or gestures, I get the faintest whiff of scent. The goal should be to make a woman wonder if it’s cologne, or if you just smell that good naturally.
How to use cologne. A visual guide.
All colognes have different strengths. This depends upon the actual notes in the scent. For instance, a scent that is primarily citrus is going to be more subtle than a scent that is primarily musky (it’s usually not this simple–colognes and perfumes are a complex arrangement of different scents coming together, and peaking at different times, but for the purposes of this column, yadda yadda yadda). So applying the same amount of different types of cologne can get you different results. Plus, where you apply it on your body also affects it’s strength. This is because different parts of the body (wrists, neck, chest, behind the ears) heat up differently. And, scents work with your specific body chemistry so they smell a little different on everyone.
As with so many things, application is a matter of experimentation. For a really powerful scent, spray the air in front of you, and then walk into it. The fragrance will be mostly attached to your clothing, so it won’t heat up and get stronger. Then see how the scent lasts through the day/evening. (You may need to employ the help of your long-suffering friends on this one, since wearing a cologne makes you less likely to notice it as the hours pass.) If it fades too quickly, then next time you probably want to dab just a bit in the hollow of your neck in addition to the walk-through, and see how it fares. For subtler scents, spray directly on your body, starting with one body part the first time, and then adding more in subsequent tries if the scent didn’t last long enough.
Hey, remembered when I confessed that my first crush was an androgynous David Bowie in The Labyrinth? Yeah, still love that movie. Especially the scene where the group has to cross over The Bog of Eternal Stench. Never gets old. Maybe that’s why I love perfume so much?
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
Depends on strength of cologne, but this is my application method: one spritz on wrist, then tap wrists together (don’t rub!). One or two spritzes on the bare chest (depending upon strength). That’s it.
I think spraying and walking into it takes away the fun ritualization of application but also often ends with a man wearing too much.
I think you need to ASK a friend/spouse/etc if you have too much or too little. Your own nose gets used to it and can’t tell any more. Ask, then calibrate in the future.
As a guy that has an unhealthy obsession with collecting cologne (I have 100 bottles or so), here’s the tip for 90% of designer colognes:
One spray on the back of the neck, one spray each on the inside part of your arm (the crook? I dunno what this area is called). That should really do it.
Of course, you should try a cologne out first around the house before you go outside in it to judge how strong it is (or how much it “projects” to people). On stronger projecting colognes, the back of the neck is sufficient. On weaker ones, you might have to spray your bare chest and wrists as well.
I REALLY do not recommend spraying on clothes.
Yves Saint Laurent – Rive Gauche is hard to find and possibly discontinued (it has been in the past and came back) but it is a great way to go. It basically makes you smell like an old barber shop, but only seems to radiate about a foot away.
No spraying on clothes.
People should smell like people. Deodorant is enough. Leave the Brut for your father. Just my opinion.
Someone told me once that your date should only smell your cologne if you’re close enough to kiss her.
Why would you ask a woman for advice – How many dates with women has she had? How many women has she seduced? You’re better off asking your local Casanova.
You realized that cologne actually hurts people, right? Breathing chemicals is not good. Even “all natural” stuff can give sensitive people massive headaches. I have had to leave a sold out movie theater because the person sitting in front of me was wearing too much cologne. When was the last time you got a headache from BO?
Do the world a favor and never use cologne.
Last time I checked, this site was about affordable men’s style – not a guide on seducing women.
You can find advice for that kind of thing elsewhere online.
Ditto not spraying on clothes. Especially clothes that aren’t laundered often, like dry-clean only blazers or sweaters. There’s no telling what those cologne chemicals will do to the fibers of your clothes over a long period of time.
Assuming women are your target demo, y’know, probably gonna be useful to as a member of that demo to see what’s good and what’s not. Focus groups man. They work.
I take that back, there is SOME telling what cologne will do to your clothing fibers. The denatured alcohol base of the cologne, for example, may dry the fibers out and cause them to become brittle.
Same moral of the story – spray cologne on yourself if you must, but don’t spray it all over your clothing.
Anything in excess could annoy people. I’m not going to stop wearing cologne just because it might offend somebody somewhere.
They told you correctly, but doesn’t have to be your date, could be anybody.
If someone’s standing next to you or hugs you and can smell your cologne, you’re doing fine.
If someone across the room can smell it, tone it down.
Plus, cologne is meant to process with body heat, not mix with fabric.
As some of you know, I am a Bond fan. For those curious, Daniel Craig wore Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille while filming Quantum of Solace. It is pricey, but fantastic.
Right, just like people who smoke aren’t going to quit because it hurts people. I only comment because most people don’t realize that some colognes are literally toxic.
I played with a touring orchestra and band for a few years. We had a blanket ban on wearing cologne or perfume on stage – too many people, too close together, too dependent on their ability to breathe freely, cleanly, and quickly. Deodorant, on the other hand, was basically required.
Some people have allergic reactions to certain kinds of colognes and perfumes. Some people are simply more sensitive than others. It’s not a matter of offending someone in an abstract sense, but the fact that some colognes can actually inflict legitimate physical suffering on other people.
Bottom line… if you use cologne, respect the people around you and err on the side of too little rather than too much.
“ask” would work too here. (Whoops).
Yeah, when I first smelled him during the opening credits, I knew it was going to be a great film!
Thank you for this.
Beth, or fellow dappered readers, from your view, what are you top 5 scents for someone who is new to cologne?
I cannot wear cologne as I instantly get a headache.
Considering women are oh like 50% of the population and this is a style blog, I think a female perspective (not that its that off from most men on here) it valuable. Beth’s posts are captivating, witty and insightful, chill out bro.
I’ve worn Burberry Brit basically everyday since 06 or so. I (1) apply one spray to my wrists, (2) tap tap small rub, (3) apply any excess from my wrist to the neck area below the ears, and (4) spray the chest.
I don’t really have a set policy about spraying clothes or not, mainly depends on if I forgot to apply before putting on a shirt – this is a process typically after only 1 cup of coffee lol. At this point I think most all of my clothing and belongings have taken on this scent, and I get complimented on how I smell a good bit, so I think it works.
On a side note, Beth, I loved you then and I do now, Labyrinth was AWESOME! Okay maybe not awesome but its like one of my favorite movies in the late 80’s early 90’s. Oh for my slightly David Bowie filled youth hahaha.
I’ve worn Burberry Brit basically everyday since 06 or so. I (1) apply one spray to my wrists, (2) tap tap small rub, (3) apply any excess from my wrist to the neck area below the ears, and (4) spray the chest.
I don’t really have a set policy about spraying clothes or not, mainly depends on if I forgot to apply before putting on a shirt – this is a process typically after only 1 cup of coffee lol. At this point I think most all of my clothing and belongings have taken on this scent, and I get complimented on how I smell a good bit, so I think it works.
On a side note, Beth, I loved you then and I do now, Labyrinth was AWESOME! Okay maybe not awesome but its like one of my favorite movies in the late 80’s early 90’s. Oh for my slightly David Bowie filled youth hahaha.
Before getting married I only put cologne on in my crotch.
No sprays. Just a dab to either side of my boys!
If someone was able to smell it. . it meant it was going to be a great night!
Now that Im married, I wear it occasionally for work. Again no sprays. Just a dab on the collar of my undershirt.
Just wondering, am I the only guy that still wears undershirts? I NEVER leave the house without one.
What about the relationship between aftershave and cologne? I frequently use Art of Manliness Sandalwood Aftershave Balm. It has a pretty strong (but good) scent. If I wore cologne along with the aftershave I’d be giving off quite the mix of scents. As a result, I often skip the cologne in the morning in favor of aftershave (which is actually functionally). If I’m going out in the evening my aftershave has lost its scent and I’ll spray some cologne.
I only use cologne for black tie events, weddings, or dates. When I do it’s a very light spray on the back and front of my neck (the front spray is a full arm length away) as well as a small rub on both my wrists. That it.
“It basically makes you smell like an old barber shop”
THIS IS THE BEST SMELL IN THE WORLD, where can I get that?!?!
Audible laughter was produced.
Depends on the shirt and the weather, but I wear the occasionally. I mean, you can’t really wear a white shirt without one…
Trust me, plenty of us had a laugh when they told us what he smelled like during a movie shoot, but just figured I’d mention it as it is a great scent. Tom Ford was the clothing provider for Quantum of Solace which is why Craig had a Tom Ford cologne on.
Burberry London. 1 spray from arms length. Never had a complaint and many a compliment from ladies.