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Dappered Classics: Balding Men – Do women care?

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Ask A Woman: As the head balds…  How should a guy handle hair loss?

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
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Hey Beth:

I’m starting to lose my hair.  It’s not too noticeable yet but it’s starting.  My forehead is “growing.”  I heard someone make a comment over the weekend (not to me) about when a guy starts to lose his hair, he should just shave it or buzz it super short immediately.  The exact words were “you need to fire it before it quits on you.”

I think I’m in an in between stage.  No one seems to have noticed that my hair is going.  I also think I’ve got a decent head shape.  Should I just cut it all off and embrace my inner Bruce Willis?  Do women really care about a guy’s hair?  Or do you only notice when it’s bad?  Should I try and manage it for a few years?

– Tim

P.S.  I will never do the comb over thing.

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Hi Tim,

I think we should all give a round of applause to Tim, who has vowed here and now never to do a comb over.  (Side note: now that the term “comb over” is part of the vernacular and the public consciousness, what are the men who continue to subject their heads to this hair crime thinking?  Do they think they’re still fooling everyone?)

Statham? Doesn't need hair.

Here’s the deal with hair loss.  You didn’t mention your age, but I’m guessing early thirties?  Maybe late twenties?  At this stage in life, women are growing accustomed to seeing their male peers with thinning hair.  Many men are lucky enough to keep a thick head of hair well into middle age, but just as many men feel that the Rogaine commercials during the Superbowl are speaking directly to them.  Honestly, it’s not a big deal.  I know men worry about this issue, but you’d be SO surprised to learn how little most women care about it.

You should do what makes you most comfortable.  Not ready to give in and want to manage it until it becomes more obvious?  Do it.  (Jude Law rocks his thinning hair.)  Feeling ridiculous already and want to buzz it?  Do it. Jason Statham has one beautiful melon.)  If you decide eventually that you want to just let it fall out gradually on its own?  Do it.  (Balding, tufting Ed Harris = Stone. Cold. Fox.)  Hair loss tends to be conspicuous and awkward when men try to hide or deny that they no longer have a full head of hair (greasy comb over and terrible toupee, I’m lookin’ at you).  Incidentally, if you decide to deal with your hair loss by getting hair plugs, or by wearing a hair piece, do it right.  Spend the money needed to ensure that it looks natural and flattering.

Let’s end this week’s column with a salute to this country’s most egregious hair criminal…the one…the only…THE DONALD.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com

Comments

  1. Well stated. I shaved mine four years ago, and am a very happy man. My other half likes it too!

  2. @ Tim the guy with the question: If you want to prolong your hairline for a few more years try propecia. I take it and not only did it stop my hairloss, it made my hairline “regrow”. It doesn’t fix the follicles that have closed up, but it will open up the follicles that are on their way to closing. I’ve heard it doesn’t work on everyone, but it worked on me like a charm. It’s pricey but they’re ways around that (ahem…online pharmacies…ahem).

  3. I agree that it’s all about the attitude and owning whatever look you decide on. Head shape plays a role here too I think.

    I started to lose my hair before I graduated college. I tried the Rogaine for a year, that didn’t seem to work well for me and it was a mess. After I got a job I seriously shopped around for implants. When I realized how much it was ($3-6/graft, $10-12k total for a half the top of my head) and that I would still continue to lose hair, I decided I was being ridiculously vain.

    So I shaved it all off one day and never looked back. It sounds backwards, but long-term it actually increased my confidence. I’m 6’1″, with a rounder “Mr. Clean” head, but until I shaved it off I was always the “nice guy”. Not that I’m a badass now, put I don’t get noise from people anymore, and my GF loves it. Other upsides are saving money on haircuts (I started to spend a lot more when my hair was thinning, getting that “ideal” cut), and being ready to go in the morning in less than a minute.

  4. What we need are more products/advertisements to go with balding. These would assure us we are OK if we buy ABC. Instead we get advertisements telling us to go by products XYZ to KEEP us from balding. Somebody is missing out on a lot of money by not selling bald guy creme on TV, showing attractive bald guys using their product and then surrounded by hot babes.

  5. I can’t fairly wade in on this conversation, but from as a hairy headed observer I think guys who try to hold onto their hair always look pathetic. This even goes for a good friend of mine who played in several ’80s bands and is trying to hold onto his long locks even though his pate is bald. Depending on your head shape either the closely cropped (Bruce Willis or Statham) or the Mr. Clean look if you have that perfect noggin, are expectable. Think of it this way, if you are going bald you have more testosterone than the average man, so embrace your extra manliness.

  6. I have a full set of hair but listening to the post I was wondering…What do you suggest for the man with the screwed up head shape but is balding?

  7. I read an article recently that said women do care, although they may say that they don’t. Jordan shaved his head at the first sign of balding. He only has to save up 2 days to afford a Bentley. I went Jordan maybe a year ago and it hasn’t been bad, in fact, it’s been good!

    Shaving every morning is a pain, but last week a lady told me I was “handsome like [her] husband” at a reception after work. Not entirely sure what that meant, but I took it as a compliment. To each their own, but 1) you have to get hair cuts more often when you start thinning out and that gets expensive; and 2) your Mom almost assuredly took great care in how she placed you in your crib as a baby so as to craft your soft skull into a perfect shape. If you’re shaving it all, a lot of people like the headblade, I just shave with a safety razor, but whichever route you go, it’s likely a good look.

  8. The one thing that all of the celebrity men Beth mentioned have in common, is that they’re all immaculately groomed. If you have thinning hair, not a problem, but get a good cut and comb it. I have a friend, with a very pronounced receding hairline, who lets his hair grow out way too much, making him look eccentric, sloppy and, honestly, quite a bit older.

  10. My experience is similar to Durden’s, except I didn’t use Rogaine. I too decided against any kind of hairpiece as I realized I was being vain.

    After initially using clippers with an attachment comb, and gradually using combs which cut my hair shorter and shorter over the years….today I just use the bare clipper. The only way to get my growth any shorter would be to use a razor.

    All through the years, women have loved my look. I’m in my late forties now, but wish I had started using clippers much earlier! Plus there’s the added benefit of not paying for someone else to cut/shave my head, and no fuss after getting out of the shower. The only downside is that as my hair has gotten shorter….I need to cut it more often.

    My suggestion to you Tim, is to shave it off…and if you don’t like the results….grow it back.

  12. Regarding the frequent hair cuts I’ve wandered onto some professional clippers. I’ve yet to pull the trigger but I’ve read great things. There’s also a blade that will give you a razor close shave (if you so choose to have it that low), with these clippers. So no fuss with actual razors.

    Here are the clippers:
    http://www.amazon.com/Oster-76076-010-Classic-Professional-Clipper/dp/B00070E8LA/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2RIMGDUG12985&colid=3IXAPP6RZNIEW

    Here are the blades you’d need to get the razor look:
    http://www.amazon.com/Oster-Blades-918-06-Size-00000/dp/B0012KT6JS/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1LI0QMYS8NUY2&colid=3IXAPP6RZNIEW

    They’re more expensive than what you’d get at Target but I figure you gents can appreciate good value.

  13. My hair is thinning and my hairline receding and a few years ago I decided that I was going to make sure that I did not have a hair style that tried to hide it but rather take what I have an make it look good. My model has become Mad Men’s Roger Sterling: http://images.wikia.com/madmen/images/0/0a/Roger-sterling.jpg. As I’m also starting to go grey( or rather the blondish grey that happens to red heads like me) so I feel like this style is perfect. It’s professional and classic and easy to manage although I often don’t get it cut as often as I should. I also have had a full beard for about 9 years which I feel like is a cliche for balding men but I do think it draws attention away from my hairline and with a long face and now long forehead I’d look rather odd without it.

  14. I agree with the ladies. I’ve never met a woman who cares much about whether a man is balding or receding. If you decide to “manage it until it becomes more obvious,” just make sure you stick with a shorter, clean cut and keep it well-groomed. The long-ish, “wispy” look accentuates thinning hair and looks unattractive. I wouldn’t recommend a hair piece–so few actually look natural and even fewer represent attractive hairstyles.

  17. My cousin started balding in his early 20s. Or at least, I THINK he did. I don’t really know. Because one day he had hair and the next, he was shaved clean, and has been so ever since.

    I have only two images of him in my mind – 1) intentionally bald and 2) with a full head of hair. He’s been in control of his own image and appearance the whole time. Moral of the story? Your friends are right, fire it before it quits. Nip it in the bud. Insert various other cliches here. You should be in charge of your hair, not the other way around.

    My brother and I, both in our mid 20s, are sort of holding our breath to see if we will start losing our hair. We might be in the clear, because although male pattern baldness runs in my mom’s family, all her balding relatives started losing their hair in their late teens. Maybe, since we’ve gotten this far, we both lucked out. Who knows. I shaved my hair down to 1/4 inch a few summers back and it didn’t look horrible, so if I do go bald, I’m mentally prepared for the change I’ll have to make.

  18. My cousin started balding in his early 20s. Or at least, I THINK he did. I don’t really know. Because one day he had hair and the next, he was shaved clean, and has been so ever since.

    I have only two images of him in my mind – 1) intentionally bald and 2) with a full head of hair. He’s been in control of his own image and appearance the whole time. Moral of the story? Your friends are right, fire it before it quits. Nip it in the bud. Insert various other cliches here. You should be in charge of your hair, not the other way around.

    My brother and I, both in our mid 20s, are sort of holding our breath to see if we will start losing our hair. We might be in the clear, because although male pattern baldness runs in my mom’s family, all her balding relatives started losing their hair in their late teens. Maybe, since we’ve gotten this far, we both lucked out. Who knows. I shaved my hair down to 1/4 inch a few summers back and it didn’t look horrible, so if I do go bald, I’m mentally prepared for the change I’ll have to make.

  22. Shave it. Most women in their 40’s can’t rock a mini like Jennifer Aniston & most men can’t execute the Ed Harris look. 
    You *could* be the exception; just be honest with yourself.

  23. Shave it. Most women in their 40’s can’t rock a mini like Jennifer Aniston & most men can’t execute the Ed Harris look. 
    You *could* be the exception; just be honest with yourself.

  24. ok I’m 24 and I’m starting to see my hair thinning and its driving me nuts because A) I really like my hair and get lots of compliments on it and B) for the past 15 years I’ve given my father so much crap that I really dont want the backlash that it will bring. I’m ok with balding but not until my 30’s at the least but hopefully later than that even. So as of right now I am just looking for something to prolong the inevitable until I’m ready to face the facts. So I’m just wondering is there anything out there I can use to take care of this for a while?

    Ps. all the guys that were shown up top have enough money to not give a fuck. Me, i have to give a fuck, i dont have any money.

  25. ok I’m 24 and I’m starting to see my hair thinning and its driving me nuts because A) I really like my hair and get lots of compliments on it and B) for the past 15 years I’ve given my father so much crap that I really dont want the backlash that it will bring. I’m ok with balding but not until my 30’s at the least but hopefully later than that even. So as of right now I am just looking for something to prolong the inevitable until I’m ready to face the facts. So I’m just wondering is there anything out there I can use to take care of this for a while?

    Ps. all the guys that were shown up top have enough money to not give a fuck. Me, i have to give a fuck, i dont have any money.

  26. im 25 and started thinning around 22 and it drove me crazy even helped ruin a relationship not because she minded but because i was so insecure that i always accused her of cheating with a better looking guy. i did the hat thing for a couple years and still do sometimes , but ive always been a hat person even when i had all my hair but ive come to realize that there is nothing i can do i cant afford implants and honestly i dont think i would even go that route. its not quite bad enough that i want to start shaving it off yet but im getting there. I figure if i meet a great girl and she wont date me just because im balding then we probably wouldnt click well anyways cuz she is a totally vain bitch! everyone has something they dont like about themselves and if my thinning hair is all ive got then its not that bad. im 6” 3′ have a swimmers body,intelligent, great cook , play in a good band and way above average in the manly department so i just say screw it. Im tired of being insecure about something so superficial, ill find a super hot girl one day that will love my shaved head and f**k her on a daily basis which is all that really matters to a 25 year old guy like me!!

  27. Someone beat you to it: http://www.headblade.com/

    (Full disclosure: I just use electric clippers – thinking about the full shave this summer?)

  29. Brad, I know this reply is way late, but I hope this reaches you.

    I started balding my senior year of college. It’s been a year since, and having shaved my head five months ago, I am getting more action and complements than ever before. I look like a badass where before I looked like a child. I also gave my dad a lot of shit for being bald but when I saw him for the first time after I shaved my head, he just gave me a hug. He knew all about what I was going through. I still expect him to give me crap about it, but I no longer care.

    And that’s where it starts: not giving a fuck. You don’t have to have a bunch of money to not give a fuck. Just start telling yourself and your friends that you don’t. Eventually, it’ll become true. I wish you luck.

  30. Unfortunately, I’ve been taking it for years and haven’t grown tits yet; I guess I’ll have to keep touching my girlfriends’.