What are you going to wear? Or in this instance, what is HE going wear? St. Nick has a huge job ahead of him. Lots of miles to cover, lots of soot filled chimneys to get down, lots of cookie crumbs & milk spills to avoid. It’s a dirty job, but that doesn’t mean Santa can’t look sharp while doing it. Here’s what he might wear while putting another 25k-50k miles on the sleigh. (Top Photo Credit: @vidarnm on unsplash)
The Sweater: Spier and Mackay Merino Chunky Cable Turtleneck – $158. Timeless but bold thanks to the texture. Super warm but breathable 100% merino wool yarn. The perfect level of “chunk.” Just like Santa himself.
The Pants: Bonobos Velvet Trousers in Mulberry – $149. Available in slim AND athletic fit. Which is perfect for the Big Man, since he invested in a terrific home gym and has been making serious progress on his Jinglebell-squat routine. Shedding the “big boy” label is a long road, but Mrs. Claus always admires him when he’s working on his thunder.
The Cap/Crash Helmet: Shearling Sheepskin Leather Aviator Cap – $59.99. To stay compliant with concussion protocol, Papa Elf has recently (like in the last century) added this to St. Nick’s kit. Sheepskin base keeps him warm, while the safety team has added aftermarket padding based on the crystalline atomic structure of marshmallow fluff. Traditional red hat attaches via magic. And velcro.
The Goggles: Mark 4 Split Lens Flight Goggles – $88. Sheepskin face cushion. Prescription progressive lenses by the Reykjavik Costco Optical Department. After market, NORAD connected, heads up display via DARPA.
The Watch: Citizen Air Promaster Nighthawk – $212 ($270ish). The Elves in R&D finally got around to updating the software on the sled, so he now keeps track of all the time zones and his roof-to-tree split times with the on-board computer. But only fools don’t have a back up. And just in case they have a power failure, he favors Citizen’s aviation style Nighthawk. You never know when you’re gonna need a slide rule. It came in super handy that one year when the alternator failed over Prague. Currently on sale at Amazon. Nice price too. Usually the Nighthawk hovers in the high $200s.
The Belt: Stretch Woven Elastic Belt via Amazon – $10.99. He’s got to make a lot of stops. And that’s a lot of cookies and milk. A stretchy, easy to adjust elastic woven belt is a must.
The Gloves: Give’r 4-Season Glove w/ Waxed Coating – $108 ($135). Dexterity and dashing good looks, and can handle -25 degrees F while he’s flying high in the sky. Famously protective enough that the wearer is able to pick up a burning log. Comes in handy if Mom and Pop forget to cool the fireplace before the kids hit the sack. A Huckberry best seller, and an easy buy for the big man.
The Nice/Naughty List + Pen: Waterproof Field Notes – $14.95 | Fisher Space Pen – $67.15. The master list stays on the scrolls at the pole, but a duplicate is transcribed to a pack of weather resistant “Expedition” Field Notes. The Space Pen is the very same used by astronauts due to its ability to write in extreme temperatures and zero gravity. And that’s perfect for maintaining order on the list when Blitzen gets a wild hare up his bum and leads the team on spontaneous inverted aerial maneuvers over the Aegean.
The Socks: Chup SANTA Merino Wool Socks – $38. Santa wears “artisan” Santa Socks on his big night? You bet he does. A true flex from King Daddy Kringle.
The Boots: Allen Edmonds Weatherproof Higgins Mill in Black – $475. Port Washington is just an Uber away (well, more like 10) from the ‘Pole, so Mr. Kringle is certainly no stranger to Mr. Edmonds. A heritage work boot with weatherproof construction and a studded Dainite rubber sole. Perfect for Christmas Eve with all of those slippery rooftops and whatnot.
The Coat: Custom Gore-Tex Cashmere-Lined Topcoat w/ Horween Leather Belt. One of a kind. Made by the Mrs. w/ help from Elf Q Branch.