What are you going to wear? Or in this instance, what is HE going wear? St. Nick has a huge job ahead of him. Lots of miles to cover, lots of soot filled chimneys to get down, lots of cookie crumbs & milk spills to avoid. It’s a dirty job, but that doesn’t mean Santa can’t look sharp while doing it. Here’s what he might wear while putting another 25k-50k miles on the sleigh. (Top Photo Credit: @vidarnm on unsplash)
The Sweater: SuitSupply 100% Merino Wool Off White Turtleneck – $119. Santa hasn’t been hitting the off-season cookies like he usually has (been practicing some mindfulness), and thus, he’s slimmed down a bit this year. So the Suituspply slim silhouette works! 100% Australian merino wool construction. Ribbed collar, cuffs and waist. Super classic, but modern fit. Ships and returns for free.
The Pants: Banana Republic Athletic Tapered Traveler Pant in Brown Coffee Bean – $49.25 ($98.50). Traveler pants? Of course. Because who travels more than this guy (even though he does “work from home” 364 days a year). Meanwhile, he’s invested in a terrific home gym, and he has upped his squat routine. So Athletic Tapered is his fit of choice. Shedding the “big boy” label is a long road, but Mrs. Claus always admires him when he’s working on his thunder.
The Cap/Crash Helmet: Shearling Sheepskin Leather Aviator Cap – $53.99. Santa has taken some spills on rooftops over the millennia, so to stay compliant with concussion protocol, Papa Elf has recently added this to St. Nick’s kit. Sheepskin base keeps him warm, while the safety team has added aftermarket padding based on the crystalline atomic structure of marshmallow fluff. Traditional red hat attaches via magic. And velcro.
The Mask: Custom Fur-Lined Facemask w/ TinselTech Filtering System. Another custom job from Elf R&D. Micro-tinsel weave keeps dust and germ particles out, and makes sure Santa doesn’t spread his own “Christmas cheer” on your stuff. Found to be super helpful with chimney soot, too – shoulda done this years ago!
The Air Freshener: Car Freshener Royal Pine – $0.53. You try sitting behind eight tiny reindeer (or nine, depending on the weather) for an entire evening. The yearly elf initiation involves sneaking some garlic and onions into Comet’s feedbag. And Santa’s the one that plan backfires on, rather literally.
The Coat: Custom Gore-Tex Cashmere-Lined Topcoat w/ Horween Leather Belt. One of a kind. Made by the Mrs. w/ help from Elf Q Branch.
The Base Layer: Champion Dual-Layer Cotton/Wool Union Suit – $33 ($64.99) A classic for a classic. Flatlock seams, cotton comfort inner lining, and a timeless look.
The Socks: Made In The USA Carhartt Extremes Arctic Wool Boot Socks – $18. 74% wool means toasty warm tootsies going from roof to snowy roof.
The Belt: Stretch Woven Elastic Belt via Amazon – $10.99. There’s really no beating these when it comes to putting away the cookies and milk all night, since you can make adjustments on the fly.
The Boots: Allen Edmonds Weatherproof Higgins Mill in Black – $311 ($445). Port Washington is just a hop skip and a jump from the ‘Pole, so Santa’s no stranger to Allen Edmonds. A basic heritage work boot, with weatherproof construction and a studded Dainite rubber sole, then done up with custom red laces, of course. Perfect for Christmas Eve, with all of those slippery rooftops and what not.
The Gloves: Give’r 4-Season Glove w/ Waxed Coating – $130. Santa’s favorites got charred to bits last year trying to soften his landing on a rather-lit fireplace. These can literally pick up a burning log, as well as handle -25 degrees F while he’s flying high in the sky, so.. an easy buy for the big guy.
The Goggles: Mark 4 Split Lens Flight Goggles – $88. Sheepskin face cushion. Prescription progressive lenses by the Reykjavik Costco Optical Department. After market, NORAD connected, heads up display via DARPA.
The Watch: Hamilton Khaki Aviation Converter Auto – $1145. Great as his classic Citizen Nighthawk is, Mrs. Claus wanted to treat him to something real nice this year. Steel case, slide-rule bezel (in case the on-board sled computer fails), and a fitting color scheme.
The Nice/Naughty List + Pen: Waterproof Field Notes – $12.95 | Fisher Space Pen – $52. The master list stays on the scrolls at the pole, but for the big night, a duplicate is transcribed to a pack of weather resistant “Expedition” Field Notes. Meanwhile, the pen works in extreme temperatures and will write from any angle. Even in zero gravity. And that’s perfect for maintaining order on the list when Blitzen gets a wild hair up his tuchus and leads the team on spontaneous inverted aerial maneuvers over the Aegean.