SWAGGER*
*Let’s be honest. This song, in this day and age, is super sexist and possibly misogynistic. But dammit if it isn’t the jam. To be honest, I actually prefer this version but I had never seen that clip before and it’s so easy to forget how much charisma he had. Plus, technicolor splendor and all that.
NETFLIX AND SHIT: This could be bad news for your streaming habits in the hypothetical-not-readily-determined future. Maybe. Meanwhile, this isn’t even a surprise. It is basically the antithesis of a surprise. Binge while you can monkey boy.
DOSSIER UPDATE: PharmaBro smirks his way through a legal conviction. That will surely serve him well in the big house.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Oh, non. Non non non non non.
PERSPECTIVE: You. Are. Worthless.
WINNING: Simply from a design standpoint, this is a thing of beauty. Meanwhile, it would seem that people really, really want one of these.
WANT. ..NOW.
Artist Richard Clarkson has stolen my dreams. And made them real. And while I’m pulling this Pinterestable shit, I’ll take one of these too. Please.
EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN: Dexy’s Midnight Runners are back and they’re making shit and stuff. Also, this is not even the most misleading tease ever, but I laughed, so. And this is genuinely a fascinating story.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? Actually, I don’t know. The comments on this story, for the most part, are basically all the things that are going through my mind these days. It is a huge bummer.
CALLING OCCUPANTS OF INTERPLANETARY CRAFT: No, really. NASA has the most interesting job posting of the week. Meanwhile, this is the original “headline,” So to speak. I prefer the original. But back to the original topic at hand, this.
THERE ARE RULES…even if they are unwritten. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, this is for you. I myself waited tables during high school and college and I can relate to so much of it. Chances are, you’ll have a favorite # or two.
ANOTHER SERVING OF SWAGGER:
I LOVE MISFITS AND WEIRDOS: Which explains my fascination for these things and these things and these things. I’ve spent some time in Austin but I’ve never been able to see this. #goals.
WE SUCK SO MUCH: Not that I’m a bleeding heart pinko commie or anything but this is kind of lame.
AWKWARD: I mean, this is, right? Little bit? On the other hand, this is an entirely different kind of awkward. That’s some work there Lou.
BUZZWORTHY: This would be very promising if it turns out to be true.
BOOKMARK OF THE WEEK: This will probably come in handy at some point. Maybe. Probably.
MARTIAN MORNING:
If you haven’t seen the remarkable images from the HiRISE orbiter, stop, drop and click.
PERSPECTIVE: Your week could be worse.
FASTEST FASHION: Dappered reader Jon S forwarded this to us. This is waaaaaay better than shellfish. Any day. Every day.
WAIT, WHAT? Up is down and down is up etc.
OH THAT’S NASTY: Gotta admit, the thought had occurred to me. Ew.
HIGHWAY ROBBERY: As inspired by every Hollywood heist flick ever.
WARNING: This is probably super annoying to many people. But, if you’ve ever had a demanding feline, you will relate.
INCOMING!
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Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly. He’s not gettin’ up Jim. (Thanks to my editor for this week’s Mostly.)