LAUGH WHILE YOU CAN MONKEY BOY:
DOSSIER UPDATE #1: A few weeks back there was a freakish story about how Orcas were surgically removing organs from great white sharks. Gruesome, fascinating and fairly awful stuff. Well…
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS: Worst “own goal” ever. Grrrrrr.
WORDS: You know this is a thing with me, right? Here we have a whole lot of veils, a bit of current reality and ‘It’s fair baltic nockin’ aboot ootside in this weather’.
ONCE UPON A TIME: For those of you who checked out “Words,” a little history. Before there was Ga Ga, there was new wave circa 1982. This, gents, is how I remember my teen years. Life is so strange. Perhaps you’re more familiar with this version? Or maybe this one? And if you are interested, the Missing Persons rabbit hole is more rock history than novelty band.
TRIGGER WARNING:
Dossier Executive Director of outsourced content, Eric H, shares another terrific batch of shareables for this week. I feel like I’m basically skating here.
HOW TO WRITE A MOVIE REVIEW…for a Michael Bay movie. This man is a national hero. So much to like. So. Much.
WAY TO GO HOSER: It would seem a certain swoon-worthy Prime Minister is winning hearts and minds with his stocking collection. #accessories
WANT LOVE? Time to play 36 questions.
LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: Get a grip guys. I would suggest the Gossip Queen. Eric is fond of The Prom.
SOUNDS REASONABLE: I’m not sure which channel they could play but anything has to be better than this. I mean, there’s got to be a puppy network, right?
THE TRIPTYCH GIF:
I BELIEVE IT WAS THE GREAT HOWARD JONES WHO SAID…“things can only get better.” And in at least one way, he was correct. Move aside mister fidget spinner.
HERE’S SOMETHING YOU DON’T SEE EVERYDAY: A reunion that doesn’t suck. AKA Eric’s INCOMING for this week. Going to have to catch this one myself. That’s a pretty solid cast they’ve got there.
MEANWHILE, IN RUSSIA…stereotypes unfold. They always skimp on the salami and bread. Always.
PLENTY OF POOCHES: Top down and chillin. In front of the camera. And on the trail.
DOWN TIME WITH DONATELLA: Miss Versace will see you now.
KING’S LANDING COMES TO DC:
Someone created a “pop-up” Game Of Thrones inspired bar. I’m only bitter because I’ll never taste a What is Dead May Never Die. Sad trombone. Or Elephant horn. Or whatever.
OH NOES! The horror. Are they eating cake yet? I kid. I kid. Mostly.
FREAK OUT YOUR FRIENDS: Instagram shenanigans. Somebody should probably go ahead and do this. But not me. I have about a million pictures of my animals and another million of cocktails to work with. Wait, huh.
TRIBUTE OF THE WEEK: Born of curiosity and kindness.
THE REFLEX (EX EX EX)*: From zero to OH HELL NO before you can blink. * I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.
NUMBER CRUNCHING IN A WAISTCOAT:
DOSSIER UPDATE #2: That was quick. Turns out the Mystery of the Stolen Toe has been resolved. Yes, alcohol was involved.
PUDGY PUSS OF THE WEEK: Inspired use of a pet in an artistic statement on current culture. Or, a clever human finds a new way to photograph his cat. Both work. I laughed. La Licorne will haunt my dreams.
GERMS GOT NO RESPECT: No respect at all. This is for-reals and on-the-level level bad news right here. Your favorite art could be a feast for bacteria, fungi and algae as we speak. I repeat: bad news.
OH HELLO: This seems like a pretty primal encounter. The shrieking, on the other hand, nearly drove me mad. Shut up and witness some of nature’s best material.
THE ORIGINAL CLICK BAIT FACTORY: Whatever happened to Upworthy anyway? HINT: it isn’t happy.
INCOMING!
Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.