Commandments? Look, there are always exceptions to any rule… but it’s going to be real tough to come up with a valid reason for violating some of these. On the one hand, you shouldn’t think too much about what you’re going to wear to the gym. You’re there to work out. Function first. Yet on the other hand, there are a lot of unfortunate gym-style choices happening out there. Originally published in 2011, but a refresh/reminder was overdue.
I. Thou shalt not expose thy shameful nipples.
A t-shirt that has been cut to remove 86% of it’s original fabric does not = a tank top. It’s a gut bib. And some of those spaghetti straps are thinner than shoelaces. You wanna go sleeveless? Fine. Guns out bro. But please keep the prying eyes of Dr. TJ Pectalberg underwraps.
II. Thou Shalt Not Wear Cologne
A lot of us would rather smell the previous users body odor when getting on a piece of equipment or a bench. Body odor at the gym? Unfortunate, but it happens. It’s almost expected. Cologne is a choice. An active, “Imma gonna project my existence onto others” choice. And it can be distracting to others around you.
III. Thou Shalt Obtain a decent Gym Bag… and LEAVE IT IN THE LOCKER ROOM
Or leave it in your car. Just don’t drag your luggage around the floor with you. There’s enough to step around and avoid tripping over, let alone all the straps hanging off your hockey bag from high school. And if you use that bag to “save” a place on a bench, at a rack, or on a machine, while you’re off using something else at your leisure? Don’t be surprised if you come back to it 15 minutes later, to find a surprise waiting inside for you. (Shown above: The Blue Claw gym bag included in a previous Bespoke Post Box. Fingers crossed it comes back)
IV. Thou Shalt Not Wear Garments w/ Asset Attention Seeking Verbiage
Goes for the fellas too
V. Thou shalt not wear excessively uncomfortable looking clothes.
This commandment is certainly more lax for those who are over the age of 70. Comin’ in to use the lat machine and you’re 82 years old? You wear whatever you damn well please. And that includes pleated jeans. But if you’re not a card carrying member of AARP, and you’re hitting the gym in jorts and clunky work boots… boy… how is chafing not an issue?
VI. Thou Shalt Not Accessorize at the gym.
Especially if you’re wearing one of those stringer tank tops. One of those + a leather choker style necklace + a stainless steel watch = how the hell are you comfortable wearing all that?
VII. Thou shalt not wear bike shorts… unless using a cycling apparatus.
If you’re going to power through a spin class, then by all means. But if you’re thrusting your Lycra clad package skyward with every decline bench press rep, you might want to consider wearing something with a bit more slack to the gym.
VIII. Thou shalt wear thoust big headphones, as long as thou are NOT singing along
Got a pair of enormous studio-monitor, noise cancelling headphones? Awesome. Rock on man. But are you sure you’re not so immersed in the music that you might be singing along? Out loud? Are you REALLY sure? Because some of you are singing along, and very much so out loud. Takes a bit of the edge off all those tats when you hear a dude half-hum half-mumble “this is… the part when I break freeeeeeeee”
IX. Thou shalt not wear sunglasses in the gym, even if they have an mp3 player
It’s 5:15 AM, you’re indoors, and you’re wearing sunglasses. That’s just creepy… brah.
X. Thou shalt especially not wear sunglasses… with an altitude training mask
The f*ck Bane. C’mon.
Still staring at #4
At my gym, I see short guys with long shorts–I mean over their knees AND calves long. It’s like a specific, style, too, because they often accessorize with tube socks pulled almost to the point of the long short. The ensemble has the effect of making these dudes look like descendants of Thorin Oakenshield.
Can we stop the “altitude training” mask thing already? It doesnt mimic high altitude, it just restricts airflow. You get zero benefit of altitude, like increased red blood cell production, etc. This is the workout equivalent of jerking off while you choke yourself…
If you’re doing deadlifts, I have no problem with this getup, at least the socks. Gotta protect those shins. (I’m typing this with the background sound of Bane thoroughly beating on Batman. it’s very strange)
I’ve never even heard of the altitude training mask, is this ‘the new thing’ now?
If you were doing cardio on the bike then hit the weight room, is it ok to keep your bike shorts on, or do you need to carry another pair of shorts to the gym?
Yea, I don’t see any problem with the pic in IV. Was there text accompanying the pic? I did not notice.
Commandment Zero is “Thou shalt not care overmuch what anyone is doing at the gym unless they’re getting in your way”
So rock on.
I was all set to laugh at the idea of style rules for the gym But these are solid.
If these things go away what am I going to wear when KMFDM comes around again?
I’m a lot more perturbed by how some people act at the gym than by what they wear.
Like the dudes who don’t just grunt while weightlifting, but moan loudly in a disturbingly sexual way.
The ones who think it’s okay to drop heavy weighs on the ground or slam weights onto racks.
People who don’t put weights back when they’re finished, so you have no idea if it’s still in use or not.
Or my favorite, the guy who once decided he needed to take not one but BOTH squat racks so he could spend half an hour alternating between two exercises (neither of which required a squat rack) with long rest periods between sets.
That Blue Claw gym bag is handsome but it could really use another pocket. Even a sleeve on the outside or something (I might add one myself). It’d be 10x nicer with an accessible place to stash keys/phone/wallet/lock .
Teh bike shorts protect my bony butt from the hard seat on the rowing machine. I mo wear ’em.
Yes Ben, put the goddamn weights back where they belong. My gym is terrible at this and it just bothers me so much. If you are so huge that you can throw around 120 DBs all around the gym you can put them back and not where the 15lb DBs go.
Yeah I’m not really sure about it either. It’s a looker no doubt but I can’t imagine a gym bag that’s mostly one big compartment. Right now I use a basically-disposable string backpack but at least it lets me keep icy hot and chalk away from my keys, wallet, and mp3 player.
I think what I’m hearing you say is that to get the full benefits from the mask, you also need to be super high up?
http://i.imgur.com/bQcH7.jpg
How to gym: http://youtu.be/zZ4EraZBB00
What type of bike? If it’s a spin bike (that mimics a real road bike) and are you doing it for more than 20(ish) min? Or are you on a reclining bike and barely pedaling while watching the latest Maury?
If you’re actually training on the bike, and you feel the need to wear bike shorts, then fine. If it’s just a casual warm up, then get some regular shorts–you don’t need bike shorts on. Otherwise, you look like the guy using a weight belt while curling 10 pound dumbbells.
+1 for both of you. I hate it so much, I will actually rearrange the dumbbells appropriately because it pisses me off soooooo much.
I know this won’t go well because I feel I know the audience on here pretty well… but I would add one more: Gloves.
If you are throwing up some serious weight, sure…. but for a few sets of curls or dips, why do you need them?
it’s nice and all… BUT MY ANACONDA DON’T…
I agree with all of them except #3 and #8. I carry my bag around the gym with me because I’m bringing in Oly shoes, a power belt, chalk, etc. No other feasible way to carry that stuff around with me along with a water bottle and towel.
On #8. I don’t get how those aren’t distracting from your lifts/efforts. They just seem incredibly cumbersome. I’d rather focus on my lifts than worry about something that big/expensive falling off my head during a max effort set of squats or what have you.
If you wear gloves at the gym, they better match your purse.
cue the powerlifter chiming in to say you shouldn’t be using gloves at all
I am of the view that bike shorts (with padding) shouldn’t really be necessary except for long rides on a racing saddle outdoors (where you will suffer the lack of a suspension). But if that floats your boat, do what you want.
Still, the image conjured in the post is pretty unsavory. If it were me I’d throw some shorts on over the lycra when I’m done the bike.
Flip Flops.
Gyms have rules against these, and yet one ALWAYS sees them. They make me want to bang my head against the wall. Have you really NEVER dropped weight I your foot, or accidently kicked the corner of a squat rack? Its just unsafe!
Other pet peeves include: weight belts (when you’re doing curls, or squating 40kg), wrist wraps (when you’re sitting on a machine, or doing bicep curls), chalk (to deadlift 40kg).
Beanies! How are you not sweating to death?
Thou shall not wear white shirts. With all that sweat and stuff going in your body, that yellowish hue that persist in white clothing is going to be… Mildly unclean in positive terms.
I bike to work most days and then work out at the office gym afterwards. I forgot to pack a pair of shorts today so I’ll be the guy doing bench press in my bike tights.
I’m with you. If it’s cool to carry around a gallon milk jug of water/sport drink then I don’t feel bad for having a small tote with straps, chalk ball and so on with me.
Thou shalt not use “thou” unless thou knowest how to inflect thy verbs and thine adjectives accordingly.
Thou shall not curl in the squat rack.
well, that is kind of what i was hinting at. Powerlifting is really the only reason to wear them, in my opinion.
Gotta disagree here. I wear gloves to protect my soft, girly hands 🙁
I wear latex gloves and high altitude masks at the gym because ebola.
I’m with you on the gym bag. Oly shoes, belt, chalk, knee sleeves, elbow sleeves, wrist wraps, wrist straps, and training notebook. I keep it tucked out of the way, but it would be way more annoying for others if I carried it all around out of a bag and just left all those items on the ground.
I just did this yesterday. Couldn’t find the dumbbells I was looking for because the whole rack was out of order.
Even then, powerlifters use chalk. I powerlifted competitively in high school and gloves were banned during competition, only chalk was allowed. The only people who wear gloves are men with weak hands.
Dropping light weight just to drop it. I think this is part of the whole crossfit thing… Put the weight down like a big boy. No need to be dropping your 95# poor-form snatch from shoulder height.
Honestly though, if you’re going to drop a 45 lb dumbell on your toe, I don’t think the flimsy layer of nylon mesh on most sneakers is going to offer a whole lot of protection over a flip-flop. I feel like the better practice is not to use weights that you aren’t capable of controlling.
Thou shall not grunt excessively as if orgasming while lifting.
I laughed out loud to this article. On a weekly basis I see guys violating the ten commandments, mainly wearing large headphones and slippers. I just shake my head.
well, since i don’t powerlift, i have no idea. but at least we agree that gloves are a little too much.
Well true, but if its a lighter weight, but the shoe still offers protection and ankle support. Plus we do not need to be persecuted by seeing some bloke’s hairy toes.
All of the above, plus many mentioned in the comments, are the reasons I lift in the garage and run on the street, even when it’s too cold or hot to be a good idea. I’ve come to enjoy my workouts way more in solitude. Lost and have for three years kept off 85 pounds this way. If I had to deal with the gym and gym culture, no way I could stick with it.
I’ll add to this that for those with kids, this kind of routine is a good way to demonstrate positive behavior and, when they’re old enough, involve them in exercise.
everybody got their something.
somewhere, a guy is on a thread wondering why people wear anything more than socks when they go running or why use an umbrella unless it’s a torrential downpour, because, hey, it’s just a little water.
I agree wholeheartedly, depending on your goals and reasons to be going to a gym in the first place.
I trail run and find the solitude fantastic, but I also go to gyms for other supplemental exercise and enjoy the social aspect of it as well.
And there’s your exception.
It’s actually to hide their legs to hide the shame that they don’t train legs or that they have sticks for legs.
That’s a butt, not an ass!
I agree with all of these.
Also, don’t use the hand dryers in the bathroom to dry off your junk after getting out of the shower. There’s always at least one old guy in every locker room who does it, and it’s disgusting.
Gloves and straps are both stupid. Rare is the dude dead lifting 600lbs. Get that grip strength!
Timberlands and knit hats also really irk me.
No excuse to carry around the bag. Get it from your locker when you need it, put it away when you don’t. You’re not hiking the himalayas, you’re at max 30 paces from the locker room. You’re at the gym to exercise – don’t be lazy. It’s a liability to the club with you leaving your stuff on the floor and outlawed by most. though few enforce it.
Furthermore, the only thing real men need bring to the weight room are their cojones.
Fine, as long as you’re a hand model or chronic masturbator
Thou shalt not use Axe or use a hair dryer to blow dry your undercarriage (believe it or not, I’ve seen it done)
What kind of weight are you moving, dude? If your joints can’t support what you’re trying to lift, I think it’s questionable to keep increasing. I’ve seen all kinds of guys collapse their wrapped knees and sustain really horrific injuries. Same with elbows and (associatively) ribs when they try to over-bench. I’ve been lifting for 30 years and if I can’t hold it, I’m not picking it up, and if I can’t stabilize it without assistance, I’m not lifting it.
I’ve long been at the point where I have to get suits and shirts made. I know I’m a meathead, but I look at some younger guys and think they’re taking things to an unhealthy level.
Just made the same comment never thinking anyone would have had to deal with the same. The greatest generation? More like the weirdest generation.
^ that
I, too, have seen many cases of blow-dryer molestation. It’s a terrible thing to witness.
I would tell you my lift stats, but one, it would be incredibly self-aggrandizing, and two, you probably wouldn’t believe them without proof. Needless to say, that sounds more like poor training protocol/doctrine rather than anything else. For recreational strength athletes (I’m referencing Oly and powerlifters, not you’re average, I’m-doing-the-latest-Taylor-Lautner-Twilight-Abs-routine from Men’s Health gym-goer) there’s going to be risk associated with this particular activity. Just like any other sport.
That said, a belt, Oly shoes, knee sleeves (not wraps), and chalk are perfectly acceptable for use in raw powerlifting. Outside of the belt, none provide incredible amounts of additional support, unlike wraps, bench shirts and squat suits, etc. And even then, a belt doesn’t give you so much as to take people outside of comfortable maximal loads, for the most part. If it does, that person isn’t training correctly, and if they get injured, well, that’s on them. And it’s certainly not going to be helping someone with their bench press.
Bottom line, you’re not into power lifting or oly lifting, which is fine, but I’ll take the advice and guidance of guys like Rippetoe over anecdotal gym-goer advice (which I and other always hear from aesthetic-pursuing “gym-rats”).
There are two power racks at my horribly underwhelming gym. The racks are on the first floor. The locker room is on the second floor on the opposite end of the gym, meaning that in my overcrowded environment, me trying to just run back to a locker means that I’m going to lose that rack in the mean time. So yeah, it’s a bit more than 30 paces.
I wish you could envision me shaking my head at you right now.
What about playing with your phone for 10 minutes between sets while sitting at the station? Get in, do your business, take your (short) breaks, get off the station. I know that rest time varies. But I also know that its not 10 minutes. Most articles say 5 minutes, tops for high intensity, low rep stuff.
I wish I had the resources (both space and money) for a home gym. Alas, for me it is way more convenient to have access to a gym full of weights and equipment. For me, there is no real social or cultural element to the gym. I approach the gym sort of like I approach a bathroom – get in, do my business, make as little eye contract as possible, and get out.
I do most of my cardio outside (running, walking, hiking, biking, skiing) but my strength training at the gym. It’s also nice to have a gym membership for those >90°F and <0°F days when running on a temperature-controlled hamster wheel is less unappealing than running outside.
For me, the biggest issue is that I teach at a university in a relatively small city and the best available gym within a reasonable distance from home is the campus AC, which means wading through undergrad knuckleheads, some of whom may have taken, and possibly failed, one of my classes. I tried it a couple times and it was a bad scene. I’ve never been more aware, for good reasons and bad, of how much older 31 is than 21.
I’m also located in the semi-mountainous SW and have found that the extreme temperatures and high altitude make for some great cardio training. I run ~20-25 miles a week and when I visit family in more temperate climates at sea level and go for runs, I feel like a superhero. Of course, the biggest moral of these stories is to find a routine that works for you and that you can stick with. The rest is gravy.
Thou Shalt Not Throw Thy Weights to the Floor Like an A-hole
Thou Shalt Not Leave Thy Sweat on the Equipment
Thou Shalt Not Use a Weightlifting Bench for Anything Other Than … Weightlifting
Thou Shalt Not Lift Weights Directly in Front of the Weight Rack — Thereby Blocking Access to It
I’m not ripping you, trust me. I have rebuilt shoulders that will attest to an earlier PR fixation and to contact sports participation well after my sell-by date. I found though, that I got better growth and balance by combining strength with endurance. In other words, I don’t care that someone benches 225; I want to see how many times they can do it, and then do it again in a short time. I got size and when I changed my focus, got density.
But, I think I’m on the right track, and every medical professional who’s treated me has agreed. If you can’t do it naturally without support of some kind, it’s best for your body that you don’t. So, stay safe.
I power lifted for years. I used things like chalk, belts, and wraps. Just like any other sport, power lifting can be dangerous and cause extreme injury. You’re dreaming if you don’t think that joints don’t sustain damage when overloaded, wrapped or not.
None of my comments are anecdotal. Feel free to consult with an orthopod who treats strength athletes. They will tell you the same thing. I sustained my injuries after years of heavy, disciplined power lifting. Almost everyone I know in the sport has had some kind of serious injury.
Being critical of an endeavor that can and often does result in major injury to its participants isn’t the same as
I’m not condemning power lifting. However, runners should run smarter, swimmers the same, and lifters should absolutely pay attention to their bodies’ limits. Aside of powerlifting I’ve a
also been involved in martial arts for 20 years, climbing, etc. All carry risk, but not all them can cause joint destruction resulting from regular and massive overload. So, I think that following the advice that one of the best sports medicine guys in the country gave me, which was to not lift what you cannot lift unaided, is pretty solid.
Wrist wraps for bicep curls are fine by me. There is stress on your wrists while curling, so the extra support is fine.
Curling in the squat rack is a whole different story though!