BE WARNED! This has happened to most of us. You unbox a new purchase and… it’s just okay. Not a home run. You know you should return it, yet for some strange reason you don’t. Inertia is a powerful force, and e-commerce w/ its home delivery uses inertia to their advantage. That’s dangerous. Beware of these pitfalls the next time you’re on the fence about returning something..
#1. Inkjet Impotence
Your rarely used printer ran out of ink and you kept forgetting to pick up another cartridge so you could print off the return label.
#2. The Self Destructing Bag
Because instead of a box, they shipped it in a bag. And when you opened it, you tore a huge hole in the damn bag, and it was just a small thing you got during a free shipping no min. sale, and you’d have to tape the hell out of the bag or… WHY CAN’T THEY JUST SEND STUFF IN A BOX.
#3. The Endangered Species
It doesn’t look as good in person. But it was the last one. Maybe it just needs to grow on you?
#4. Black Hole Trunk
Had it all packed up and ready to ship back, stuck it in the trunk of your car… and promptly forgot it was there until well after the return window had expired.
#5. The… never even made it into the Black Hole Trunk
Had it all packed up and ready to ship back, set it next to the car-wash supplies as you loaded other stuff into your trunk, closed the trunk, drove off, and forgot it was there until well after the return window had expired.
It’s time to play… “spot the waste of money!”
#6. Scuffed Sole Stupidity
You were testing the fit of the shoes “on a carpeted surface” (just like they ask) and then ran outside to put the garbage out on the curb as you heard the truck coming down the street. In the rain.
#7. Fat Chance?
“Man these are tight. Well, I gotta lose a little weight anyway”… annnnnnd PIZZA NIGHT!
#8. The Meatloaf Special: I would do anything for love…
Your significant other said they really liked the way it looked on you… even though you didn’t. And still don’t. Hey… some days it don’t come easy… some days it don’t come hard…
#9. Hidden in Plain Sight
You didn’t want to forget to send it back, so you put the box in a place that you see every day… and it just started to blend in.
#10. Poor eBay execution
THOUGHT: “Maybe I can flip this on ebay?” ACTION: None.
#11. The Mall Deterrent
It seems silly to get charged for the return shipping, especially when you can return it to a store for free, but that store is at the mall. And you hate the mall. The parking, the people, the perpetual construction the… aww to hell with it.
Hell of a parking job there Milton. Really, really well done.
#12. Ex Post Facto Fit Failure
You got the item for an incredible deal, but the fit isn’t quite right, and you’re hoping you can shrink it in the wash/the leather will stretch with wear/etc… and that solution never materializes.
#13. Goodwill Hunting
Set it next to the stack of stuff headed to the thrift store. Guess where it ended up?
#14. Guilt
You’ve been returning a lot of stuff lately from that retailer. And you (stupidly) don’t want “them” to think you’re a bum.
#15. The Rasputin Label
The return label was super small compared to the original shipping label (so you just couldn’t cover the old label with the new return label), and when you tried to peel off the original shipping label you discovered it was affixed to the box with some sort of industrial grade epoxy that refuted every single f*cking attempt to get that motherf&cking thing off the damned box and you ended up with a bent backwards finger nail, an original shipping label that looked like it had been attacked by a lynx (that STILL wouldn’t be covered by the return label), and an overwhelming desire to just chuck the damn thing out the window.
(Parking lot photo credit. Ashamed to say that the garage box fail is an original.)