Ask A Woman: “That’s one way to lose these walking blues…”
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked. That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com .
Hello Beth!
My girlfriend and I have just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. I realized I should probably get jewelry for her sometime soon. I have zero experience in that field. I do know that she prefers more simple pieces of jewelry, nothing too extravagant. Any suggestions?
Best Regards,
Jeff
Hi Jeff!
As a jewelry enthusiast myself, I think giving (and receiving, heyyo!) shiny, sparkly baubles is great. I’d love to help you pick out something nice (and on the simple side) for your other half. Just an aside, you mention that you feel like you “should” buy your girlfriend jewelry. But does your girlfriend like jewelry? Does she get excited about it, wear it often, comment on it when passing shop windows? Some women don’t care much about jewelry, and if that’s the case with your lady, don’t feel like this is something you need to do just because Kay says every kiss begins with her. If she is a fellow jewelry lover, then read on…
Silver
Although rose gold and yellow gold have seen renewed popularity over the last 5-10 years, I don’t think there will ever be a metal more timeless and appropriate than silver (or platinum or white gold, both of which are a silver color). It looks good on every skin tone, and next to every gem. It is beautifully combined with other metals. Here are three simple silver baubles.
Silver teardrops – $26.25 ($70); Silver hoops – $60; Silver initial necklace – $98
Precious Gems
The other day, I declared to my husband, “Diamonds are over.” Now, he is not in the habit of coming home with a black velvet bag of diamonds, throwing it on the counter and saying casually, “Hey, I brought you something.” When we got engaged, when we celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary, I got diamonds. And they’re beautiful and I love them. But lately I’ve been admiring all the other options out there for gemstones, all of which are so much more affordable than clear diamonds. The pieces below are simple and classic while adding a bit of color.
Citrine studs – $48; Red garnet necklace – $38; Aquamarine studs – $67
Watches
I love that watches haven’t fallen by the wayside as an accessory, just because we all have cell phones and tablets. It’s possible this sentiment makes me hopelessly out of touch because the kids actually aren’t wearing watches, it’s just us olds. Be that as it may, watches are a great gift for other olds, especially the female ones. These picks are pretty simple as a group, but if you’re looking for a specific brand, Skagen makes slim, understated time pieces.
Armani Exchange watch – $140; Skagen watch – $100; Michael Kors watch – $160; Kate Spade watch – $175 ($250)
Designer Labels
Sometimes you just want a designer piece in your collection. It’s not prettier than an off brand, it’s not more valuable, materials-wise than an off brand, you just want to have that name sitting in your jewelry box. Shallow? Wasteful? Perhaps, but dudes, if you look in your own closet, I bet you can find a pair of shoes, a blazer, you paid more for because of the name. The pieces below make use of signature logos (the “T” for Tory Burch), charms (the mini bows for Kate Spade), and designs (the stamped silver for Tiffany) that are immediately recognizable to fellow devotees.
Tory Burch bangle – $95; Kate Spade studs – $48; Tiffany circle pendant – $150
I hope that helps! Jeff, you’ll notice I didn’t include any rings in this selection. My feeling is that it’s best to avoid giving a woman a ring as a gift, until after you’re married. With more and more women receiving aquamarines, amethysts, and so on as the main stone in their engagement ring, it can make for an awkward moment when opening a ring box–ummm, do I say thank you? Or yes? Avoid it by sticking with necklaces, earrings, and bracelets.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send it to: askawoman@dappered.com
Make sure she isn’t allergic to any precious metals (or other metals) first, especially when buying earrings.
I went with a sapphire engagement ring for my wife. Royal blue sapphires are incredible, she didn’t care about a diamond, and I expected it to cost less. I didn’t save much by going with a pristine genuine sapphire, but it’s stunning and I will never regret the choice.
While we’re at this whole jewelry discussion – i’d love to know ” Quality or Size/flash?”
Went ring-shopping with my femme fatale (earliest stage…we wouldn’t get engaged for some time) and while I spent ages discussing the ratting system and quality of diamonds with the jeweler, She was almost wholly preoccupied with the way the thing looked –
So for her I’m now caught between a rock (hah!) and a hard place – smaller, higher quality diamond? or Larger, but flawed stone. – How does that principle apply to routine jewelry shopping?
I got engaged recently. I used Findmyjewler.com to help me in my search and understanding of what everything means. Can’t recommend them enough. At the very least I would go for something that is ‘eye clean’ (clarity rating of SI1 or better). Check out that site though. It is amazing how strict they are when it comes to recommending a jeweler.
I have “antique jewelry” as a saved search on ebay. I flip through stuff sometimes and if I see something that I think my wife will like, I buy it. There’s a lot of low cost stuff on there and I like the idea that it has a history, even if I don’t know what it is. And my wife likes random jewelry given to her for no good reason.
Obviously there is the risk of getting something fake but I avoid this in two ways. First, buy stuff that’s so cheap that it really doesn’t matter if its fake. I bought a pair of antique cufflinks for 7 bucks recently. If they turned out to be plastic I would have only been out 7 bucks. Second, If you buy something of value, only go through reliable sellers. The guys with 10,000 positive feedbacks aren’t selling fake stuff and they’ll let you return it if it is.
Higher quality diamonds sparkle better. So even smaller ones look better because they really catch the light. I’d focus on cut and clarity before carat, personally.
You can never, ever go wrong with the robin’s egg blue box (Tiffany’s). Many beautiful pieces for reasonable prices.
I’m also in the same boat, and am using bluenile.com to customize. They have a great description of what to look for in a stone. I’m personally using a different cut of diamond than round (looks bigger, cheaper, and she actually doesn’t want a round cut diamond). I think it’s more about balancing the quality of the gem with the size, rather than going all in on one or the other.
I wouldn’t exactly call Tiffany’s “reasonable”. There’s a large markup just for the name.
A real sapphire, emerald, ruby, or so on is a lot more genuinely precious too, considering the amount of market manipulation that goes on re: diamonds.
Be careful with Blue nile or ANY online jewelry outlet. I used BN to help gauge pricing, but some of the stone characteristics are too nebulous to understand without seeing the stone.
For example, Fluorescence, the blue-ish tinge a stone can emit, greatly affects the value but is impossible to quantify other than by sight.
Further, the “cut” of a non-round diamond is fantastically subjective when compared to the mathematical perfection that a round diamond exhibits. (Round diamonds have a ratio of table to depth that determines how sparkly it looks.) Two pear diamonds might have high grades for cut, but each could be quite different– short squat pear vs. long skinny almost marquis cut.
A few final thoughts: 1. I am of the opinion that you should buy the clearest, whitest diamond you can afford at a given size (subject to number 2) ; 2. There is negligible difference in color between D and E– don’t pay the 25% markup merely to say you have the “best”. 3. Look at lots and lots and LOTS of stones.
It’s a discussion you have with her. I was very frank with my wife back then. I gave her the big picture of cost and asked her preferences. That provided a ton of insight – she was fine with a fake diamond and other gemstones. You might be surprised.
Don’t forget color!
Fluorescence is rated on GIA certifications. So if you are buying a certified stone (hopefully you are) you can have a good idea about fluorescence. I believe AGS rates it as well, but the stone I ended up getting was GIA certified and they definitely rate it. Everything else is spot on! I went with a square radiant, and basically I had to see it in person to decide on it since it is beyond my diamond knowledge to judge the sparkle from paper.
Greg, was that a joke? “reasonable”? Don’t get me wrong they have absolutely lovely pieces, but I would never consider them reasonably priced.
For sure. By the time I saw the stone – absolute top quality – it was too late to say no.
Zach– you are correct that Fluorescence is graded. However, I didn’t find the grading helpful like the other categories. A “strong” grade is supposed to look blueish in direct sunlight and can either be desirable or undesirable depending upon personal preference and particular jeweler. However, my wife and I had great difficulty seeing the blue in *any* light and the fancy-cut stones have their own personalities with shadows. I suppose my takeaway was look at the stones in person!
In my experience, which is limited to the 3 months of research I did before buying my fiancees ring, stones with strong fluorescence appears a little cloudy or milky. I am by no means an expert, but I did enjoy learning about all of the different factors that go in to the quality of a diamond so I get a little excited sometimes!
This.
I actually think Tiffany’s silver isn’t too badly priced. They have some nice silver pieces in the 150 to 200ish range. I wouldn’t get any gold there though the mark up starts getting rough.
Hear, hear. My wife flat-out told me she didn’t want a diamond engagement ring — so I spoke with a gem cutter, purchased a .75-carat ruby, and had a local guy design a platinum (thanks, far too much overtime!) setting for it. Worked out really well.
I should have clarified. Like Ike said, I consider many of the silver pieces reasonable. Their silversmiths are excellent. They have extremely high quality pearls, stuff like that. Sure you can get it elsewhere. Maybe even the same quality for cheaper, but I’ve had excellent luck in the under $300 range at Tiffany’s. It’s the gems and gold at Tiffanys that get ya.
Agreed. I guess my response was stemming from my stops in their when looking at engagement rings. Some of their prices were laughable…
Are pearls too old fashioned? I got my lady a pearl rope, which I think is a classic and very versatile item. She loves them, I love them on her, life is great!
Oh man yeah. Their engagement ring prices are absurd. It’s like they understand they can get away with charging more for their name but within a “reasonable” (all is relative haha) margin for silver goods. Put a diamond in it, even a microscopic one, call it an engagement ring, and you’ll be dropping over $5000.
No. Pearls are fantastic. Women with classic style love them as well (in my experience).
Way back in ’05, I gave my girlfriend some sterling-and-pearl dangle earrings from eBay. She liked them so much she wore them to our wedding six years later — and rarely wears them now, since if she lost one it’d be near impossible to find a match.
Pro tip: when investigating the source nearly a decade afterward, don’t share with her that the pair only originally cost $3.74 shipped. She wasn’t quite as amused as I was. 😉
Tiffany’s only carries high-quality cut and color stones compared to Zales that can carry some awful items (See, I2 clarity large yellow stones). Essentially Tiffany’s charges a significant premium to the research-adverse consumer by stocking only the good stuff.
Your are correct, but comparing a mall jewelry store to a place like Tiffany’s is like comparing the Yankees to a highschool team. There are plenty of jewelers that will only stock high quality stuff (mostly referring to diamonds here) but they do not have the markup Tiffany’s has.
I’m with you that the stores are in different leagues. I did my engagement ring shopping in the diamond district of my city. It isn’t exactly wholesale, but it certainly isn’t retail. In that sort of environment it is very important to be a knowledgeable consumer to avoid getting fleeced.
Pearls! Classic. Simple. Freshwater can be found without breaking the bank as well.
This really depends on the cut also. A brilliant cut can be more flawed then something like an emerald cut. Due to the number of facets you can’t really see inclusions.
I used blue nile and was thrilled with the experience and the final product.
Thank you Beth! You also solved my 2-year wedding anniversary gift quandary!
Black velvet bag o’ diamonds casually tossed on the counter?
Shhhh! Don’t tell my wife!
My wife actually got her wedding band from an antique store in December (we got married in January). Nice two-tone 14K yellow/white band with a simple and understated design. Plus it was 1/2 the cost of what you’d pay for the same ring new.
It can sometimes be tough to find a store that carries jewelry, though we lucked out in that this place is only about 2 blocks from our house, and the owners (an older gent and his son) are really friendly and reasonable. A very good option if she’s into vintage stuff.
When in doubt – go “old fashioned”. Like the site says, style is timeless.
Alternatively, buy her a metal she doesn’t realize she’s allergic to and then convince her that you buying her jewelry must be bad luck.