The coming of the new robot masters and the troubling doll arms.

 THE BLACK HOLE OF ASIA: 

North Korea by night.

SKYNET IS HERE. Or at least Google hopes that’s the case. 

BETTER THAN THE LOTTERY: Because, since it really isn’t actually winning the lottery, they still have that chance. Also, wow.

PIRATES OF THE FAMILY CHECKBOOK: One more reason it sucks being a parent. 

BLURRED LIMBS: I will never look at Robin Thicke the same way again. 

BON IVER IS SO CHEESED OFF RIGHT NOW:

Also, honestly…meh.

CHEERS! I’ll drink to this!

EVEN GUYS WITH FUNNY HAIR WANT TO DRESS WELL: The style evolution of Lyle Lovett. Here’s a little something for while you’re reading.

UH…That would be no. Next?

DOES ANYONE ELSE FIND IT ODD…that we can track down sidewalk dog crap to the rightful owner but we can’t rid the world of cheesy Hawaiian shirts?

STILL WAITING: 

IF I CAN’T HAVE A JETPACK…Maybe I’ll just get myself one of these. In my parallel world life. Meanwhile, the latest kind of automobile I will never be able to afford has just been revealed over here.

NO SIGN OF PETER CRISS…but this makes me smile all the same. Maybe more. Click through to the preview pics. You will NOT be disappointed. Then there’s this. And frankly, if you are surprised by this announcement you aren’t in on the joke.

WORDS: I’ve lost all of mine. ALL OF THEM. My snark factory just went belly up.

MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED: 

(click to expand)

If you would like to see other opening lines from iconic books graphed for your pleasure, head on over here. Ya weirdo. And I say this as an English major. So, bite me.

ARE YOU PART OF THE CREATIVE CLASS? Then you might/should/will relate to this. 

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT: This will make some people squirm, leave others crying fowl, cause some folks to yawn while others say “I knew it.”

IS THERE A SPECIAL POLLYANNA IN YOUR LIFE…that you just wan’t to beat over the head sometimes? Forward them this.

INCOMING: And this time it is the main trailer.

Need something else to read?

• So I had no idea about #1 (red faced!), I admit #4 happens on occasion (uncomfortable), and I plead the fifth on #12. Seriously, “showroom quality” automobile detailing is just so damn satisfying.
• Rules.
• The layers will be coming off before you know it. So, here.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related.