Some questions are better answered publicly since others might be asking the same thing, or, one of you has the perfect answer. If you’ve got a style tip, question, or anything else you’d like to pass along, you can send those in here. If you’d rather your question not be featured in a future mailbag, just go ahead and say so in your email. Feel free to hit the comments with other options for answers to this most recent batch of questions. Top Photo Credit: Tracy O.
Q: What style shirt + shoes with a tuxedo?
I am getting married in June. The other day I called J. Crew to exchange a pairof linen pants when they told me that the Ludlow tux qualified for the 25% off code. So I purchased their shawl collar tux, as I have had my eye on it for some time. The next step for me is choosing the shirt, cummerbund or waistcoat, bow tie or neck tie, patent leather shoes or wear my black Allen Edmonds McAllister wingtips or Mercanti Fiorentini black oxfords. I feel like I want to go for a wing tip collar with the matching satin bow tie from J Crew. Thoughts? – Josh
As a former mall foodcourt pianist (stop laughing, it was high school), who was damned to wearing a rental once a week while hammering out Linus & Lucy and Stairway to Heaven on a baby grand while the dudes at Sbarro provided percussion with the pizza wheels… I personally try to steer clear of anything that resembles a rental. So congrats on the shawl collar purchase. Consider skipping the wing collar though. A wing collar + pleated shirt, while more traditional, also looks more rented. Some guys will shake their head at wearing a nice, white, french cuff, semi-spread shirt with a tux (so, no studs, just buttons), but it looks pretty damn good. If showing buttons is just too bourgeois for you, start looking for a covered placket shirt now. They’re tough to find… but… strongly consider sticking with a standard collar. Meanwhile, go with the bow tie + black oxfords. Not wingtips.
Q: Hitting the gym pre or post-work.
I find the only time I usually have for the gym is immediately before or right after work, but that means I’m lugging my gym bag with me to the office, as well as showering and dressing in a locker room. Any advice on functional, yet classy gym bags? And what should I make sure to pack in my dopp kit to ensure I’m looking sharp post-workout? – Patrick
The quick and dirty answer is try and get up and hit the gym at 5 or 6 am. Less people, plus, you’ll be able head home after for a shower + shave before work. Now, that’s not possible for many, so if you’re packing for both work + gym, consider either the Possibilities Bag or Round-A-Bout duffel from Beckel Canvas. Simple, made in the USA, and cotton. Cotton is key. After awhile, poly bags will start to soak up odors that no amount of washing will get out. For the dopp, whatever you usually use, plus some blotting sheets for after you’ve exited the gym. I’ve found that after a good workout + hot shower, my skin is more likely to look like an oil slick once I leave the gym. Blood’s running a little hot at that point. Both these from E.L.F. and these from Clean & Clear do the trick. And keep a bottle of hand sanitizer
Q: Need help in picking out a wedding band.
“Most of the men in my family don’t wear a wedding band. Be it for work/safety concerns or just personal preference. But, for me and my future wife, its important. So I’ve been looking for something that I like. But I can’t seem to find anything that goes well adjacent to my pasty/red/hairy knuckles (yes, I have beautiful hands). Maybe its just because it looks so foreign? Any suggestions?” – Steve
First, congrats on the upcoming nuptials. Allow me to be the first person you’ve never met to give you some unsolicited advice: Make sure your wedding day is YOUR day (meaning, the two of you). Don’t let pushy relatives/friends hijack it. If there’s a risk of that, put your foot down firm and early. For the band, it’s hard to beat a brushed/matte titanium band when it comes to price + looks. They’re super strong, the flash is minimal, and they’re nice and lightweight. Plus, they don’t resize well (if at all) so there’s extra motivation there to not pack on the newlywed pounds. For those who worry about losing a finger in an accident to a titanium band, that’s a myth. Backup would be a plain white or yellow gold band. Not too wide, not too thin. Something nice and classic (and, uh, easy to quickly replace if you lose it)
Q: When a Trench’s Belt Goes Missing
I lost the belt to this great olive-colored trenchcoat I have (it just slipped out one day and I didn’t realize until it was too late). Any suggestions on what I can do to replace the belt? It just feels so naked without it that I never wear it any more – what a shame!? – Navneet
Belt? You don’t need no stinkin’ belt! But I say that as a guy who often walks around without a belt in his trench. Those two empty loops (yep, just two on mine) don’t bother me. But, if you really want a belt, head to a thrift store. Wear your trench while you’re shopping at a few thrift stores, and you might find a cheap, old-man, boxy trench with a close enough matching belt. By the coat, use the belt. Also, don’t give up on the idea of a contrasting belt. Just don’t wear it wrapped around your front, since that’ll cut you off visually. Instead, tie it around back. An olive trench with, say, a navy or deep brown belt tied around back might actually look kinda good.
Q: Breaking in Allen Edmonds?
I’ve recently purchased my first pair of Allen Edmonds (McAllister in Bourbon Calf). I love the look of the shoe 100%, but they are awfully stiff. Do you have any tips to loosen them up a bit? In particular, the leather insole is probably the most uncomfortable of any shoe I’ve ever owned. I want to wear my McAllisters more often but I can’t if I know I’ll be on my feet for most of the day. – Jose
That’s a tough one Jose. Literally. Been lucky enough to own a few pairs of AEs in my life, and while some were super comfortable out of the box on my feet (the Fairfax and Hanover) two other pairs (Neumora and Weybridge bit into the tops of my feet for a week or so. During that break in time I wore them sparingly, often around the house, and always with slightly thicker cotton socks than the standard paper thin cheap dress socks. Now they all fit and feel awesome. Also, the McCallister’s shape + last might not be a great fit for your arch and/or foot shape. If possible, try getting into an Allen Edmonds store for a fitting.
Q: First Blazer?
I’m looking to buy my first sport coat/blazer, and I’m trying to decide between Banana Republic’s Tailored-Fit Textured Navy Cotton Blazer and the Tailored-Fit Blue Wool Two-Button Blazer as my first sport coat/blazer. Is navy the first color one should go with? Which of these two would you recommend? I should be able to get one for 40% off using one of their Wednesday coupons this month. – Justin
Welcome into the cult of blazers + sportcoats Justin. Beware, you might just get hooked. So 40% off, that’s $150. The one on the left is wool, and the one on the right is cotton. BR makes some great cotton sportcoats, but until recently, they’ve clocked in around $198 full retail. As long as the quality of the wool is decent (haven’t seen it in person, but one of the online reviews is real positive) then the wool option should make for a great first blazer. The Tailored fit from BR is closer but not tight, button stance won’t look dated any time soon (if ever) and the lapels are just fine. Congrats on the upcoming purchase!
Q: You’re dumb. J. Crew Factory Sales are all the same.
I think sites that talk about J. Crew Factory sales should have a disclaimer. *Disclaimer: JCF %s mean NOTHING. They raise prices right before they have these type of sales. It’s a pathetic display of consumer sheep-ism to think that a 50% JCF sale is a better deal than their weekly 30 or 40% sales.* – H.C.
Herringbone Blazer during the just wrapped up “birthday” 50% off sale: $99.00 ($198)
Herringbone Blazer during the extra 30% off code on 9/19: $131.60 (on sale for $188. reg. $198)
Got a question or a style tip? Send them in here. Additional answers to the above questions can go in the comments.
Though the JCF sales email was derply… derpishly? … derpally?… derpil poorly worded, I too was under the impression that JCF increases and decreases their retail prices for different sales, making it difficult to determine what’s actually a lowest-price for any given item. In fact, I thought that this type of fluctuation was actually noted right here on Dappered, before. Am I dreaming? Stated differently, is this the real life or is this just fantasy?
People who buy things are suckers
http://youtu.be/d0YAhykMMxc
…and now Bohemian Rhapsody is stuck in my head.
My reco for a tux shirt…
http://www.ctshirts.com/men's-shirts/men's-dress-shirts/Bib-front-classic-collar-extra-slim-fit-tuxedo-shirt?q=usddefault||EX003WHT|||||3502,||||||||
They have it in slim and classic fit too, I believe.
I’ve been looking for a good gym bag forever – how is this possibilities bag? Without a picture of someone holding it for reference I’m not sure it doesn’t look a bit odd, like a bowling ball bag.
I’m a really tough customer for gym bags – they have to look decent at work, fit the full range of workout and shower needs, and not be so big to be a pain to routinely carry on public transit.
Anyone else find good options?
I’ve noticed JCF changes their prices for different sales (and I think I’ve seen Dappered comment on that too), but that does not default to meaning higher percentage discount means higher retail price. Nor does it mean its silly for a style blog to report on JCF sales, especially when the prices are a moving target. I think the varying nature of the pricing structure makes it even more relevant to post the good finds from JCF sales. I’ve found great deals at all different thresholds of percentage discounts.
http://imgflip.com/i/474yt
Ok, glad I’m not going crazy! I can’t completely disagree with the sentiment that discussion on JCF should include a disclaimer about their pricing methods; it’s a good thing to make sure everyone knows before pulling the trigger. IMO, Dappered does a pretty good job of making users aware of this – it’s not in every single post, but still. I also appreciate the commentary about what the lowest-seen-prices are for certain items (seems like this is most often mentioned about suits and blazers).
I have been using my Possibilities Bag for about 2 years now, and has been one of my best purchases. I don’t use it for the gym but more of a weekend bag. Shows hardly any signs of wear, built well (zippers could encase a bomb explosion), and a great olive color.
One other thing that I enjoyed about ordering from them, was that with a simple phone call I was able to get the bag customized. They added an outside zippered pocket for me to help seperate stuff.
If you wanted to get a size reference, check out the pictures in this link.
http://markmirochaphotography.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/beckel-canvas/
Love these Mailbag posts, Joe.
On the wedding ring subject, I have another suggestion. I, personally, hate wearing rings of any type. Just something about the excess weight on a finger doesn’t feel right to me. My future-wife and I were discussing and researching this when we stumbled upon pure carbon fiber rings. They’re incredibly lightweight, smooth, and rather cheap apparently. As a Forumla 1 and MotoGP race fan, I’m looking forward to getting one soon.
I picked up a Marc NY bag like this (but in olive sueded cotton/brown leather) last weekend at TJ Maxx for under $80. It’s just large enough to be a weekender bag, but small enough to carry on a subway without looking like a tourist. Fits a complete change of clothes as well as a dopp kit. Has an external pocket sized perfectly for an iPad mini. Highly recommend something like it.
They have been known to change retail prices from time to time, but I think that’s awfully rare, and a lot of brands/retailers are monkeying with prices right now due to costs going up. Where I think the confusion comes in, is with the “sale” price. JCF rarely has an item up for purchase that isn’t on “sale”. Sometimes that sale price is a few bucks, sometimes it’s a good deal more if they’re running some sort of sweaters promotion, or it’s the end of a season, or, whatever. Lump a code on top of that, and an extra 30% off code does have the opportunity to be less than a 40% off code on a different item (that’s not as drastically reduced).
That said, there doesn’t seem to be some greater conspiracy here. A Thompson suit gets plenty fair in the low $200s, and downright cheap once it’s under $200. Blazers are good in the low to mid $100s depending on style/fabric/newness, and really nice if they get to the double digits (very rare).
Like Scott said, it’s a bit of a moving target, but it certainly does move instead of staying in the exact same place.
Check out Herschel Supply Co. The Novel Duffle is awesome. It has a separate compartment for shoes and has a sharp-looking striped liner.
http://shop.herschelsupply.com/collections/duffle/products/novel-duffle-grey
These look much less bowling-ball like, I might have to consider picking one of these up.
How did you go about customizing with them? One of the things I’m really hoping for with a gym bag is a way to things organized and separate, such a shoe compartment and possibly other dividers. Is this something they routinely handle?
BAAAAAaaaaaaaaa.
Caught by the land shark, No escape from his big bad teeth, Open your eyes, Look out that peephole and seeeeee, Sweet he’s got pizza, no signs of anchovies…..
On tuxedo shirts, while I agree a laydown collar is better than an attached wing collar, using a standard business shirt makes the outfit look off, giving it a “rental” or “informal” look. What I recommend doing is purchasing a proper tuxedo shirt with a laydown collar (e.g. http://www.ctshirts.com/men's-shirts/men's-dress-shirts/Bib-front-classic-collar-extra-slim-fit-tuxedo-shirt?q=usddefault||EX003WHT|||||3502,|||||||| from Charles Tyrwhitt). Notice how the front has a slightly different (not pleated) texture, differentiating it from your standard business shirt.
The shirt allows for studs. I like these ones from TM Lewin (http://www.tmlewin.com/Mother-of-Pearl-Dress-Studs/505097702023,en_US,pd.html?start=6&q=studs) in Mother of Pearl, but you can also get standard silver and black studs and cufflinks from Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Cufflinks-Studs-Set-Tuxedo-Collections/dp/B004NKD3J8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381859290&sr=8-1&keywords=tuxedo+studs+pearl) for under $30.
Now, you properly own your own tuxedo set. And you can wear it to any black tie event ever.
I bought a slim fit tuxedo shirt from TM Lewin for my wedding earlier this year. It is not too dissimilar to the Charles Tyrwhitt shirt. http://www.tmlewin.com/Slim-Fit-Marcella-Wing-Collar-Evening-Dress-Shirt/45253,en_US,pd.html?start=1&cgid=Mens-Shirts&prefn1=collarShape&prefv1=Wing
I went with a TM Lewin tuxedo for my wedding and really liked it. I am a fan of the wing collar. I looked at the removable collar shirts but were just too expensive for me.
Hearing/reading the word “proper” or “properly” in reference to black tie makes me want to do nothing but keep on using my “standard business shirt” Just to stick it to the aristocracy.
I knew someone was going to debate that.
If you can spend the cash, Ledbury’s White Royal twill has an incredible texture/look to the fabric.
Possibilities Bag, as it says on the Beckel site, is underseat carry-on size (the size of the smaller bag when you get a 2-piece “professional” luggage set). The site has it at 1728 cu in, while I put the Round-A-Bout bag at about 3450 cu in, so that one is huge. I’d personally love for them to make a Round-A-Bout mini, with 1/3 to 1/2 the volume (closer to the Bespoke Post bag from Blue Claw Co), but I doubt you’d be disappointed with the Possibilities Bag.
I’m sure they’d be better prepared to handle your question. Just give them a call or shoot them an e-mail and see if they can handle it.
Another way to break in shoes faster is to take them to a cobbler/repair shop and have them put stretchers into them. This is especially useful if just one part is bothering you (e.g. if it pinches your little toe). They can modify the stretcher (which looks like the medieval-dungeon version of a shoe tree) so it stretches specific parts of the shoe.
I dig my REI bag. Just search “gym bag” on their site and there are plenty of options. Not really a “statement piece” but does a good job holding my sweaty gear.
I was in the same boat, but it was incredibly important to my otherwise unfussy wife for me to wear a ring. I went with a plain brushed titanium band that was as thin as I could get while still being masculine. Weighs practically nothing and stopped noticing it all together after about a day. Except in the shower and at the gym, I wear it 24/7.
Re: Breaking in the AEs.
The only real answer is to suck it up and break ’em in. The more you walk in them, the faster they’ll soften up. If they hurt your feet beyond a moderate discomfort, there’s a good chance, as Joe mentioned, that the fit of the shoe is wrong for your foot. Although, if you bought the correct size/width, in all likelihood, unless your feet require extremely uncommon sizing, it’s just a matter of time. It took me about a dozen all-day wears to break in my Strands. Went from “oh my god these are killing my feet” to “are my feet resting on a butter cloud?”
I bought my wedding ring from a gal who makes them right here in the USA out of recycled metal. Mine’s silver, but she also does yellow or white gold. It is not showy, is extremely comfortable, is made-to-order, and is not expensive (considering i wear it 365 days/year). I swear I’m not a paid spokesperson. http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheSlyFox
Remember: Baaaaaaa means no!
About Men’s Wedding rings, there seems to be a consensus that what to look for is minimal flash, simple plain metal, etc. Is this the norm? Because I’ve always found the image type below to be much more appealing?
Perhaps some nurture conditioning is at play too, because my father had his wedding ring in a similar design, gold with mixed platinum and diamonds. He was a lumberjack and it was the only accessory he ever wore, never took it off.
That’s too much flash for me, but if you like it, then you’ve got a helluva statement accessory. And good on your old man for rocking it with pride. Ninety-nine out of a hundred, when you wear what you like, you wear it with confidence. When you wear it with confidence, it looks better on you no matter the style, regardless of where the consensus falls.
Check out tungsten rings. They are virtually indestructible, look great, and are cheap. My wife dropped my platinum wedding band at the bottom of a lake (yes, I was the idiot that took it off on a boat) and my tungsten replacement that costs ~$40 looks better than the original and gets a lot more complements. They are worth the look. Save your bucks and splurge during the honeymoon. Congrats!
Now I’m curious to hear about people’s thoughts on wing-tip collar shirts with tuxedos. To me, it seems to be a very “80s prom rental” look, and not in a way that would look retro-cool. Is this still a common or fashionable look in some areas? As I learned recently different regions can have remarkably different ideas as to what is stylish and what seems outdated. For my own point of view, when it comes to tuxes look to Bond. 50 years of films and I don’t recall him ever wearing a wing tip collar. Or if he did, not in the last several years.
Covered placket tuxedo shirts are more properly referred to as fly front shirts. They are fairly common, but most outfits charge a good bit for them. I think the Turnbull & Asser Bond shirt is $250 or so. They are out there, though, and definitely good looking.
That round-about bag looks great. And second the opinion on getting to the gym before work. Sets you off on the right foot for the day.
Steve, I chose a polished white gold ring with a sliver of yellow gold. I do not care for yellow gold myself however I wanted it to complement my wife’s ring which is yellow gold. Given that almost all of my friends/any male under 40 these days has a brushed &/or dark toned (titanium/etc.) ring I was somewhat unsure of my choice at first. I had already settled into it though now that I have updated my wardrobe to a more classic look (thank you Dappered), I am even more pleased with it. Besides, it gets dinged up enough it doesn’t have a bright shine to it. But if I want to shine it up for occasions I can do it at home with a watch polishing cloth.
Also, I completely understand those who say do not spend a lot of money on your band. Yet many of these same men also have no trouble laying down the asking price for Allen Edmonds or $500-1k+ on a watch. I realize there is more craftsmanship in the timepiece, nonetheless, your ring is a daily accessory that will hopefully stay with you for life (perhaps even an heirloom). It is also a symbol of your commitment to your spouse. If that is meaningful to you, don’t be afraid to spend appropriately to have what you really want.
But yes, the ring will feel quite foreign for some time.
To Justin, who asked about the BR blazers:
I have both of those, well almost. I have the “textured” blazer, but in charcoal (from last year). Let’s assume it’s the same. The cotton on the textured blazer is super soft and brushed. The “texture” is actually a very fine houndstooth pattern. It was actually my first blazer purchase ever, and I’ve been pleased with it.
That said, I *love* the wool blazer. The biggest advantage it has over the cotton blazer is drape/shape. Since it’s wool, it fits differently over your figure, creating a better-looking body shape. Also, the wool is light with a fairly open weave (I can even see through the lined back when held up to light). For me, in Texas, this is great.
Here’s a close-up of the wool:
That’s so close to perfect. If I drove to work, and could toss this in my trunk, this would be perfect. I think this could just be a bit unwieldy bag to have on the bus, especially if I have a laptop bag.
However, I think I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist with shoe/other storage and the smaller size, like the Possibilities bag.
Wedding band recommendations: I strongly suggest seeing it in person first, as they often look very different than in pictures. Also, for me, they often looked very different on my hand than I expected, so I wouldn’t buy one without trying it on first. The ring I ended up with, I tried on as a lark. The moment I put it on, I knew it was the one. Finally, it will take some hunting to find a jewelry store that has any kind of unique men’s bands. If you’re anywhere near Brooklyn, I highly recommend The Clay Pot in Park Slope.
On tuxedos. Go covered placket if you’re not doing studs, buttons look like you didn’t know there are tuxedo shirts. As for shoes, I would get black oxfords, the plainer the better. Here’s what I wore for my wedding this past winter. http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/Enzo-Tovare-Mens-White-Micro-Pattern-Formal-Cotton-Shirt/6403683/product.html
http://www.kennethcole.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3984237&cp=24307366.13219164.13225454.3075245&customNumOfProd=14&customNumOfProd=14
The shoes were in black though. If your weddding is on the formal side I would go against the advice of J. Crew and wear either a cumberbund or a vest, but make sure the cut is as low as the tuxedo jacket.
On the issue of wedding bands. Gold looks better on pale skin than silver. I think it’s weird when people don’t wear them, unless the person is working with machinery. However, getting your finger ripped off or skinned by your ring is not a myth, as quick Google search will show!
While I disagree that “buttons look like you didn’t know there are tuxedo shirts), I gotta say… That’s a mighty fine looking tux shirt at a great price. Thanks for the suggestion!