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5 Ways To NOT get a brand featured on Dappered

By | Heads up: Buying via our links may result in us getting a commission. Here's why.

Since this website will often deal with “stuff”, emails will often come in (like, all day every day) from the reps of brands and retailers who deal in “stuff”. And more often than not, these emails are completely ludicrous. In an attempt to prevent countless PR Flacks from wasting their own time and their client’s money, here are five approaches that’ll just about guarantee a “go-pound-sand” reaction from this side of the email server. Top Photo Credit: Brian V.
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1. The brand or PR firm asks to write the article

“I represent XYZ. How much would it cost for me to write a piece on your website?”

A billion dollars. Plus a signed ball from the 1927 Yankees, the Holy Prepuce, and a series 1 Jaguar E-Type that’s been upholstered with Yeti. The strangest part about these ridiculous requests is the constant appearance of two words: “High Quality“… as in “I assure you the writing will be high quality!” Always with that damn exclamation point too. I don’t care if you’ve hired every living Poet Laureate to hammer out a post about the company you rep. It’s not happening.

 

2. Lobbying for a positive review before it’s even written

“Well, I have to be able to tell them you’ll like their product. You will, right?”

Unfortunately, now we’ll never find out, because that review isn’t happening anymore.

 

3. Requiring contest entrants to jump through social media hoops

“Instead of them just signing up to win, what if they liked our FB page, had to send out a tweet with #IWanttoWinfromBrandXYZ, and then had to post a picture of themselves on Instagram sacrificing a goat to appease us?”

No. If the item to be won is great, your page just might see an increase in likes. Requiring someone to like your FB page (or follow a brand on twitter/instagram/etc) to participate in a contest is hollow, and it does more harm than good.

 

4. Telling instead of asking.

“We’re going to send you some socks, what’s your address?”

The hell you are.

 

5. Not describing the product or service.

“Hello. I’m writing on behalf of a very successful fashion brand. I would like to schedule a phone call with you to discuss a new project they’re working on . What time on Monday would work best for us to jump on a call?”

What publicity firm do you work for? Lennay Kekua and Associates? Coy is the crutch of those who don’t believe in what they’re pitching. And it’s over-used to a silly extent. There are no prudes in PR. Give it up or get lost.

jazz tossed

If only there was this option, instead of just hitting delete.

Comments

  2. Sometimes differentiating right and wrong is a grey area. This is not one of those times and thank you dappered for not blurring the lines.

  6. I think this would be a good place to express my appreciation for your
    approach in general, but specifically #3. Some of us don’t bother with
    facebook because it has nothing to offer us, and the idea of “liking” a corporate entity is ludicrous and pointless. Some of us don’t use twitter either.

  11. And this is why Dappered is not Ask Men. While Dappered is not as large or well known, the quality of the posts here are far better. Ask Men is just a mix of ads posing as articles, or “advice” that just makes things worse for readers

  12. Dear Joe,

    I am going to send you an unnamed product, that is fantastic. You will like it. I will write a positive (HIGH QUALITY!) article, but you WILL like it. Just Twitter-Insta-Vine-Like your sacrificial lamb posting and this will all be done.

    Sincerely,
    AmazingPR

  15. I totally agree. I can’t stand Ask Men and their links to “articles” that end up being slideshows with advertisements between every other slide, and pithy narratives beneath each slide that any moron could write.

  19. Well, let’s not get carried away. We have yet to initiate the “go-go dancers in place of ad space” initiative. But thanks for the kind words.

  22. Dappered contests are the only contests I even look at, since I know I won’t have to like a stupid page on facebook in order to enter. Keep fighting the good fight!

  26. While I appreciate your taste in fine motor vehicles, can we negotiate on the upholstery please?

    I suspect any software engineers and the like who have ever posted a resume online will make a face and nod along with #5 just like I am.

  27. and this is why Dappered.com is one of my favorite sites on the internet. I mean like top 3!

  28. And those salesmen are presumptive assholes. I’ve been in sales; there are right ways and wrong ways to close a deal.

  31. Can you really blame sock hockers for not understanding the nuances of a well executed close?

    I am in a position where I do a lot of negotiating. Sometimes being a presumptive asshole is a necessary step in getting a deal done.

  32. Might be time to get the ol’ “may not discriminate on the basis of sex, *religion*, race, color, or national origin” humma-humma memorized and rehearsed.

  34. Its comforting to see that you have integrity joe. Thank you from the readers of dappered.

  36. In general I completely agree with your stance on all five, however I TRULY appreciate your stance on social media requests.

  37. you know…now that you mention it, i’ve got a couple ideas about how to make the site better i’ll meet with you on the fifth and send you a test-kit of everything that should be done.

    what’s your address?

  40. And this is why this site is practically my homepage. Quality post without the constant ads and social media whoring.

  41. This is why I will continue to support your site Joe. Every day I get sales calls followed by emails after I decline to accept the call. Please continue to tell these marketers to piss off.
    Thank you.

  43. I get these all the time too. Yours seem to be way more straight-forward (and pretty rude), like with a sense of entitlement or this expectation that you MUST feature them. PR firms these days!