Andrew, Dappered’s grooming correspondent, is also the editor-in-chief of Electrogent, a men’s interest, grooming, and lifestyle website which squares the modern interests of men with the classic notions of manliness.
There’s something about going to a new barber that makes most men clam up. I’m not quite sure what causes this phenomenon, but some of the loudest, most Type-A personalities will pipe down as soon as someone asks, “So, what’ll it be?”
I’m convinced this fear of communicating with a new barber is a cause of the omnipresent buzz cut that plagues male hair. Once you go in and get it all chopped off the first time, it’s hard to grow it back out with any recognizable style without intervention. Thus, a cycle of growth and buzz continues on for years at a time, like a large Chia Pet.
Well, I say no more. It’s time to break the fear of communication with your new barber. It’s time to tell your new barber what you want, and more importantly, what you don’t want. Once they learn a little about you and your preferences, you can continue going in for visits without having to talk about your hair. Consider it like ripping a bandage off really fast–it’s uncomfortable for a little while, but then you get over it.
I recently tried out a new barber with some of these techniques, and it worked wonders. Since I only have tips from my end, I reached out to Dino Caracciolo, the owner of Crown Shaving Co., and longtime barber since the age of 18, when he took over his family barbershop which started in 1955. Dino gave me thoughts from the other side of the scissors, the barber’s perspective, and helped me learn about barber communication.
Here are some tips to help you start the dialogue with your new barber:
1. Come in with realistic expectations
Look: if you come in with a buzz cut, don’t expect to walk out looking like Chris Hemsworth. This may seem obvious, but in order to effectively communicate with your new barber, you need to expect something the barber can deliver. If you ask for something that’s unrealistic, you run the risk of your barber doing whatever they want. Some guys may want that, but your haircut should remain a collaborative effort from the start. If you want a new, longer hairstyle, you’re going to have to grow it out a bit. This sounds common sensical, but it’s the best first step.
2. Bring photos
The last time I used a new barber, I brought in 5 photos of the haircut I wanted, and 2 photos of haircuts I didn’t want. Particularly, I wanted the sides tapered off between two extremes: not too short, not too long. My barber loved it, and said it was very helpful. However, don’t expect your haircut to come out picture perfect. Dino says, “It is always helpful if the patron has a photo of what they want the end result to look like, as this will help give the barber some sort of direction. However this does not mean you will get that exact look.”
“Well, what’s the point, then?” You ask. Your job is to convey the general style, and the barber’s job is to make it fit your head. Just like when you go in to get a suit tailored, you pick out the general style, and the tailor makes it fit your body. A skilled barber will match your hair to your head, to prevent cow licks and sticking-out sides.
3. Decrease needless distractions
The worst thing you can do is try to explain your desired haircut to your new barber while you’re on the phone or otherwise distracted. During the initial consultation, give your new barber your undivided attention for a few minutes. It’s well worth it. For good measure, just stay off your phone during the whole cut. It can wait.
Additionally, show up on time. Don’t show up late to your first appointment, because your barber is likely going to get upset and breeze through the initial consultation, costing you a great haircut. If you drag it out, putting them further behind, the barber (who has just met you) will likely make up time during the actual cut by cutting too many corners. This is no bueno.
4. Explain your hair growth history
When was your last haircut? How fast does your hair grow? Does it grow outwards like a mushroom, or downwards like a weeping willow? These are all things you should tell your barber, as a skilled barber will take these growth patterns into context when tailoring the haircut to your head.
5. Don’t talk about your ex-barber(s)
Frankly, nobody cares. Dino says that when someone talks about how they “can’t find any good barbers around” it usually means the client is hard to please. Don’t be that guy. While it may be true that there are no good barbers around, you’re setting yourself up to look like a jerk, and that’s the last thing you want your barber thinking you are (remember who’s holding the sharp pointy things).
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Communicating with your new barber is a unique social interaction, and it’s one that many men utterly fail without knowing it. Consider these tips the next time you decide to use a new barber, and soon you’ll have a great barber who knows what you want without having to speak a word.
Have you found a great barber? How did the two of you communicate at the start? What’s it like now? Leave it all in the comments section. (Top photo: Berenice Abbott)
A good haircut is so underrated. It’s the single thing that you will wear every day! I’ve spent countless hours researching barbers, especially after moving to a new area. No amount of research can help though if you clam up when you sit down in the seat! I’ve brought in pictures on several occasions, and while it might make you feel a little weird breaking out the iPhone to show a picture, I’ve never had a single barber laud me for it. They’ve all appreciated it and the end result was better for having done so. Oh, and don’t forget to tip!
My barber and I have a longer relationship than my wife and I. I have been going to him for the last 13 years – my wife and I 12. I just recently started taking my son to him as well. Something about just sitting down and having my hair cut exactly like I want it – no small talk or BS either. I dread the day when I have to find someone new.
Can I add something – who on earth would try to carry on a phone conversation, bluetooth or not, while getting a haircut? Not only is it unbelievably rude, it’s right next to your hair!
Do your best to find some word-of-mouth on a new barber. Ask people or, failing that, check the Internet for some recommendations. It should give you a bit of confidence in the new barber, and that will probably help you feel comfortable communicating.
If you ever get a really good haircut that you’re really happy with, get someone to take some pictures of it for you: front, both profiles, and back. This might seem excessive, but it does mean you can get pretty close to what you’re used to. But don’t expect the exact same thing: put some trust in the new fellow.
Good Call on the tip! I’m generous so it’s +20% and something during the holidays- but that’s for someone you go to regularly (if you’re lucky). Going bald makes it easy- once you embrace the Jason Stratham look- you can cut it yourself.
There’s sadly no barber shop around where I live, only “hair salons” or whatever it is called. My hairdresser do a good job, but I’m pretty sure I could find something better.
Actually, there’s a new barbershop downtown, but it looks…douche-y? It’s called “Klassic Kut”.
It took me a few years to find a good barber in my area and I finally did. He’s an older italian guy that used to be a boxer in the 60s. Unfortunately, he’s had some health issues over the past couple of years and I dread the day he shuts down the shop.
Holy moley, that’s like leaving your cool girlfriend for her younger, hotter, smarter sister.
Andre’s Barbershop in Lakeview, Chicago. I live in the neighborhood and walk there but he’s good. Can get busy from what I hear but if that doesn’t work I hear nothing but good things of the guys down the street at Belmont Barbershop.
Anyone has barber recommendation in NYC? i just moved to the city
Two options I’d suggest. There’s a place in dupont called Diego’s that is a very famous, conservative barber shop. The street out front is named after him. It’s where your standard vanilla ugly staffer-types go, but they do a fine job cutting hair and it’s only 20$ which is a steal in DC. If you go, ask for Camilo. He’s really good.
Personally I go to a much better spot in Mt Pleasant called Eastern Confederate. Everyone there is awesome, they do cool poker guys nights, mice races and have a hobbit hole in the backyard. It’s a little pricier than Diego’s but I prefer it because I can sit down, say ‘cut it however you think will look cool’ and I get a great haircut every time without having to give orders. Go, and ask for Kate. She is fantastic.
I have been looking for a great barber in DC/NoVa for almost 9 years. The best luck I have had has been Charlie at Gentlemen’s Quarters in Old Town Alexandria, Arzu at Willy’s Barbershop in Ballston, and David at Grooming Lounge at Connecticut Ave & L St NW. Unfortunately 2 out of the 3 charge about $50.
Hi, just reposting my response to Jonny in case this helps:
“Two options I’d suggest. There’s a place in dupont called Diego’s that is a very famous, conservative barber shop. The street out front is named after him. It’s where your standard vanilla ugly staffer-types go, but they do a fine job cutting hair and it’s only 20$ which is a steal in DC. If you go, ask for Camilo. He’s really good.
Personally I go to a much better spot in Mt Pleasant called Eastern Confederate. Everyone there is awesome, they do cool poker guys nights, mice races and have a hobbit hole in the backyard. It’s a little pricier than Diego’s but I prefer it because I can sit down, say ‘cut it however you think will look cool’ and I get a great haircut every time without having to give orders. Go, and ask for Kate. She is fantastic.”
My barber is a stylist at the Hair Cuttery down the street. I know him by name, say hello when I see him in 7-11, and get a great cut every time. Just because the place is a “hair salon” doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to deliver a great cut!