Snob noun \ˈsnäb\ – one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste
1. Shoe Snobs
Claims to have never owned a pair of shoes that cost less than $200 retail. Except for that one time when he bought a pair in a department store for $100, and he SWEARS they disintegrated in his hands as soon as he took them out of the box. The horror. Believes those who wear shoes with soles that are glued to the uppers might as well be wearing Kleenex boxes on their feet. Has a 12 month calendar with glossy photos of his favorite shoe lasts. Hasn’t spoken to his brother-in-law since the buffoon had the audacity to wear bluchers instead of oxfords to his wedding. Before having his appendix taken out, demanded a Goodyear Welt post removal so he could show off the scar to his friends.
2. Automatic Watch Snobs
Announces at every given opportunity that he would never spend more than $50 on a quartz watch, and even then, could never smile while wearing it. Always asks “does that thing have a battery?” before asking someone for the time. Sees no issue with his electric powered watch winder. Believes that when Pandora’s box was opened there was nothing but a lump of quartz inside. Wishes cars still came with cranks. For the bedroom: never latex, always lambskin.
3. Tailoring Snobs
Measures his trouser break in eighths, not halves. Is horrified when he sees pictures of himself and somehow he’s not showing 1/4″ of shirt cuff. Last wore an off the rack suit during his first communion. Holds his breath when walking by standard neck and sleeve dress shirts in Macy’s. Refuses to lose the ten pounds his Doctor told him to shed for fear of collar gap. Doesn’t know how to sew on a button.
4. Tradition & Rules Snobs
Took a belt to his son when he caught the young man wearing a suit beltless. Believes the notch collar tux jacket is the designated hitter of the black tie world. “They’re not pants. They’re trousers.” Thinks a tie without a dimple is as attractive as a boil on a butt cheek. Filed a complaint with H.R. the first time he saw someone wear jeans to the office (it was a Friday, and it was New Year’s Day.) When flying, always carries a sewing kit and a selection of brass and gold buttons in his carry-on. Y’know, just in case his seat neighbor is wearing a navy blazer with dark buttons, and the guy is willing to let him swap them out after takeoff.
5. The Anti-Snob Snobs
Known to assemble and publish lists of snobs, yet fails to recognize that by doing so he projects an air of superiority which could easily be considered snobbish. Hopes his list will be seen as tongue-in-cheek by all, and none take serious offense. Except for those who are actual judgmental turds. They can, in fact, take offense.
Originally Published 11/22/11
Peopele wear shoes with soles that are glued to the upper? How uncivilised!
haha nice
Joe, nice to see that you can poke fun at yourself just as well as others.
I’m guilty of #2. Just the part about watches, not lambskin.
#3 all the way
My very first thought was “Brand” Snobs.
People who stick their flag in one brand, defending it to the death and/or refusing to even try other brands.
I am guilty of being a Bonobos snob.
My very first thought was “Brand” Snobs.
People who stick their flag in one brand, defending it to the death and/or refusing to even try other brands.
I am guilty of being a Bonobos snob.
It doesn’t take the Mentalist to ascertain that you are referring to Will Boehlke of A Suitable Wardrobe……well played,sir…..
It doesn’t take the Mentalist to ascertain that you are referring to Will Boehlke of A Suitable Wardrobe……well played,sir…..
That was one of the funniest things I have read recently. Well done.
That was one of the funniest things I have read recently. Well done.
This was spot on. One small point: Brits say trousers, not pants. It’s not snobbery, pants for us means underwear.
This was spot on. One small point: Brits say trousers, not pants. It’s not snobbery, pants for us means underwear.
Same re Bonobos for me. Speaking of which, received my two pair of jeans last night. The Flatiron rinse is pretty dark (as dark as I’d ever go) and the Dark wash is great. I have only ordered their straight fit, so don’t know about bootcut. Fit is good, similar to their chinos. They seem to run a bit long (i am 6’2″+ and ordered 36×32 and they’re about an inch too long), but otherwise seem to be right on.
Note I’m not a jeans snob (selvedge or die), and my last pair were $40 levis, but (with groupons and 20% off) I can handle paying more toward $50 for these.
Same re Bonobos for me. Speaking of which, received my two pair of jeans last night. The Flatiron rinse is pretty dark (as dark as I’d ever go) and the Dark wash is great. I have only ordered their straight fit, so don’t know about bootcut. Fit is good, similar to their chinos. They seem to run a bit long (i am 6’2″+ and ordered 36×32 and they’re about an inch too long), but otherwise seem to be right on.
Note I’m not a jeans snob (selvedge or die), and my last pair were $40 levis, but (with groupons and 20% off) I can handle paying more toward $50 for these.
Incredible… Thanks for the great start to my day!
Cheers,
Ben
Incredible… Thanks for the great start to my day!
Cheers,
Ben
Fair enough, but I think that’s what makes it extra snobby in America. We know that person #4 is trying to sound “European” and therefore more “sophisticated” instead of just using the right term: denim = jeans, everything else = pants.
Fair enough, but I think that’s what makes it extra snobby in America. We know that person #4 is trying to sound “European” and therefore more “sophisticated” instead of just using the right term: denim = jeans, everything else = pants.
Hilarious article. So true.
“For the bedroom: never latex, always lambskin”
Hahahaha…..
Hilarious article. So true.
“For the bedroom: never latex, always lambskin”
Hahahaha…..
Great, hilarious post. We can all probably see a little of each in ourselves.
Great, hilarious post. We can all probably see a little of each in ourselves.
Haha…so true!
There’s actually another word that has been really ‘en vogue’ with style bloggers lately that kinda annoys the crap outta me when ever I read it but I don’t want to say what it is ’cause its used quite frequently on a few sites that I visit (this one included, in the forums particularly). It’s technically ‘right’, but sounds ‘snobbish’ whenever I read it.
Then again I can be a bit of a cynical a-hole so its likely I’m reading far too much from something so inconsequential.
Well my curiosity is piqued
This is why it’s tough to read sites like styleforum. Most of the guys are older and making decent bank so it’s not a big deal for them to drop $500 on a pair of shoes. If you even mention or ask for suggestions on lower end brands, they crap all over you. Funny thing is that I’ve received more compliments from women on my $80 aldo shoes than my $400 aldens (and isn’t girls 50% of the reason we want to dress well?).
I must admit to being something of an automatic watch snob. My only quartz watch is a Casio G-Shock, and that’s more of a tool than a timepiece.
What a tease
Hopefully they isn’t half the reason.
Sort of the same subject: What differentiates ‘jumpers’ from ‘sweaters’ in the U.K. ?
whether or not you attended public school.
I dislike snobs in any walk of life. I seem to encounter drink snobs a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I love a nice scotch, but if you turn your nose up at Jack Daniels (especially if you use the word “swill”), I believe you deserve a swift punch to the dick.
I’m guilty of #2: the lambskin, not the watches… though I’d love a nice vintage Hamilton Automatic. Just kidding about the lambskin – that’s kind of weird.
Well put, M. Samourai.
I am the anti-#1. I have never owned a pair of shoes over $50 with the exception of that one pair of running shoes I bought for $65 and had a heart attack in the process.
@Deke – I hate Jack Daniels but only because I prefer Bourbon to Tennessee Whiskey.
Note to self: Take precautionary measures when drinking with Deke. Always, ALWAYS have what he’s having…
Damn my order was cancelled.
Showing myself as a total watch snob, a vintage (and modern) Hamilton automatic only used Swiss movements and are not indicative of the rich US heritage that Hamilton once held. Although I would love a vintage Hamilton electric (Ventura, Pacer, etc) as those models are gorgeous.
…which is actually private school.
Lol. In all honesty I don’t know anyone who says ‘sweaters’ in the UK. I guess it might be used on marketing for GAP or whatever, but almost no one uses it in conversation.
I should add that often the worst type of snob is the reverse snob. We all know the type… They scoff at men who dress well and brag about being just a “jeans and t-shirt kinda guy.” They take pride in not knowing their suit size and being unable to tie a tie. They don’t see the point of beers that don’t come in cans and cases. I could go on, but you get my point.
I’m with you on shoes. All I wear are Converse and Vans, which keeps my footwear cost way down.
And re: Jack Daniels. I don’t hate it, but I think it’s overrated and overpriced. George Dickel is a far better Tennessee whiskey, and cheaper, too. I usually just stick to Bourbon.
Not wanting to pay over $50 for a quartz watch is silly, but not wanting to pay over $150 is absolutely reasonable. The idea is to be attracted to the mechanical quality of one of the greatest achievements in the history of human ingenuity: the harnessing of time in a device.
Haha. Exactly what I thought!
Preach it, brother.
Anyone who describes their wardrobe as “curated”.
You meet a lot of automatic watch snobs while perusing online watch forums. Actually, I think people open to wearing quartz watches are probably in the minority. I like automatic watches – my everyday wearer is a Seiko 5 – but the rabid purism of some folks is just astounding. I think it’s silly to be such a purist that you forget the fact that the cheaper, “worse” movement is objectively superior in virtually way except, perhaps, sentimentality. It’s especially funny when these same folks nitpick about the accuracy of various movements. Let’s not kid ourselves – if you really cared that strongly about accuracy, you would swap out that ugly, oversized, overpriced boutique diver for the $15 quartz Timex that will run circles around it, accuracy-wise.
Kinda #1, but it is more about quality than price for me. I have bought plenty of cheap shoes and been disappointed almost every time. #2, is my dream to be, but given the choice between a new car and a watch, I am forced to take the car. A lot people around me seem to think I am a bit of a snob when it comes to brands, but that is completely untrue. Most of my wardrobe is cheap stuff, I just buy the nice stuff when the quality of it means it will last longer and/or looks better.
This is me.
All of it.
Amen!!!
I think the correct term is an ignorant a$$hole.
I love the guys at SF and other places who point out how it’s much more economical to get a $300+ pair of shoes since they’ll last forever by being resoled. OK, maybe it is cheaper in the long run. But that’s still a lot of money up front. And the resoling isn’t that cheap either.
On this site, Allen Edmonds is something many people aspire to. On SF they’re “entry level.”
The next post should be: in defense of snobs. Something along the lines, if there where no snobbery there would be no point in manufacturing anything beyond a certain (lowish) quality level.
Basically who would the businessmen copy from, when there didn’t exist dedicated craftsmen who spent all day everyday making things to the best of their ability? And they wouldnt exist if snobs didn’t support/fund the whole endeavor.
Or something like that. I gave it a few mins thought.
Who would j.crew/polo/Gap/BR copy from?
The point I take from this article: snobs could do themselves a favor and relax a little. But not too much, cause (snobs) are likely holding the line on quality good. Also don’t be too smug about it (snobs), there is no sympathy for your wealthier than average ass.
“They’re not pants. They’re trousers.”
Alt: May simply be British.
Nice watch
Should read comments. Comments snob.
I made this comment in different subject matter recently – but to me, there is a big difference between having particular standards for yourself and the stuff you own, and being a snob. It doesn’t bug me if you refuse to buy a quartz watch, or shoes that cost less than $400, or get every item of clothing made bespoke. That’s not snobbery. What IS snobbery is when the same people make snide, condescending comments and off-the-cuff personal judgments about people who have different values or standards.
definitely number 4 for me….Satan wears a notch lapel tuxedo….
I don’t mind a little snobbery every now and then. Snobbery gets out of line when you start to tamper with other peoples genuine happiness. If a man is walking down the street in a poorly fitted/quality suit, but thinks he’s dapper as shit- let him enjoy himself. I believe snobs are a necessary component to society, though; they set the bar; they call people out on their bullshit (who deserve it) and they defend traditional values. I’ll hear any mans opinion as long as they have a quality reasoning to back it up.
Hey Joe, speaking of high snobbery, any ideas about the Barney’s Warehouse Sale event, which for the first time will be online?
So true. I began to realize it was going to be a minute before I could afford the clothes they would describe as so so.
They aren’t cheaper in the long run. If you wear them daily, you’ll spend $150 a year on resoling and $150 a year polishing them. Don’t justify luxury as an economical decision. It’s rude. Luxury is a luxury for those that value it and can afford it.
Aw come on, NC that’s a bit of an overshot. I agree with your basic point, sometimes a luxury is just too much. But if I remember correctly, isn’t the AE recrafting like $90 and I’ve only spent about $20 on polishing supplies. And you would be doing some serious wear and tear if you need to resole them yearly. Or even every few years..
I think it was an undershot! Their resole/refurbish is $125, and if you wore an AE shoe every day, it would need a new sole at least once a year. I’ve gone through a leather sole in almost 3 months of continuous wear (even while sleeping). You can save money by polishing yourself, but if you’re paying for a shoe shine, I still think I’m underestimating at $150 a year.
I’m not against quality shoes at all, but I can’t see for the life of me how they are cheaper in the short or long term.
If you wear your best leather soled shoes to special events, they could last a lifetime without resoling. You’d look your best, cost per wear would be low over the long term, etc. But I personally wear my Dalton boots on ski trips and do yard work in my McAllister wingtips. What can I say??
Fair enough. I suppose if you own one and wear it daily you could go through a sole quickly. Topying would certainly help. I have one pair in particular that I’ve worn heavily for almost 2 years now and the soles are fine. Weird.
Wasn’t it Gucci who said “Quality is remembered, long after price is forgotten.” I think there’s a lot of truth in that, and to an extent there is a sense of economy if you continue to love an item long after it was first bought. However in the case of shoes, you have to keep paying for maintenance, and yes after I bought my first pair of leather soles, I was shocked at the cost of resoling them.
Hilarious article. #3 is my fav.
yes. and Seikos spring drive models which are quartz are every bit as expensive as a decent rolex or omega. but then-I am guilty of #2 but only in the way that I don’t like to wear quartz but I DO appreciate that is every bit as ‘mechanical’ as an old fashioned automatic and that vibrating at 1000s of mhz is no small feat. Making it dirt cheap is an even greater feat. And most wacth snobs I know and talk to on watch forums like WUS would never deny that a quartz can be every bit as accurate and even more accurate depending on the movemnent then the finest mechanicals. I like to think of my watch snobbery the way I think of my owning only classic british, german (and now-some Japaneses) motorcycles. Its the ‘classic’ style thing more then the superiority thing for me. e.g.-I hate some of the futuristic looking $25,000+ mechanical watches that some of the finest houses put out. And I didn’t say Hublot, did I?
Or ‘stockists’ instead of suppliers or distributors, especially in the States.