Ask A Woman: What’s a woman want a guy’s place to smell like?
Originally Published 1/5/12
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Beth,
I’m a clean guy, but when it comes to aroma I’m completely clueless. I know impressing a hot new date when she walks into your apartment is always about cleanliness, I have that covered, but I’m lost when it comes to keeping the place smelling like anything more than beer, old apartment, and whatever else falls in the wide spectrum of “man smells”. This is twofold with bathrooms. I’d like to find a good routine for everything smelling nice to a woman’s nose consistently, not just lighting a Yankee Candle before she arrives and hoping it covers up everything else. I’d love a woman’s perspective on this.
– Eric
Hi Eric,
Here’s a secret about me that I hope you won’t share with any of the other Dappered readers, since it doesn’t exactly mesh with the persona I’ve created of a sophisticated, elegant, untouchable, woman of mystery**: I’m crazy about cleaning. CRAZY. A good time for me is a toss up between a bottle of wine or a bottle of disinfectant spray. So you’ve come to the right person–well done, son.
The first thing I’ll say is that if you want a clean-smelling abode, your apartment needs to actually be, you know, clean. This doesn’t mean just uncluttered and tidy, it means the glass surfaces should be spotless, the wood surfaces dusted, the kitchen and bathroom disinfected, the floors swept/vacuumed/mopped, the trash regularly taken out, the sheets laundered, etc. If you have a dog, make sure s/he gets regular baths; if you have a cat, make sure the litter box is changed often.
You need to clean every week. Yes, every week. Make it just another part of your routine, like going to the gym. Mondays you scrub the bathroom; Tuesdays you vacuum the carpets, and so on. If you have trouble getting into the habit, start off this way–when you’re watching TV, make it a rule that during the commercials you don’t channel surf, you clean. In an hour long program, you’ll get almost 20 minutes of breaks–that’s enough to wipe down the kitchen counters, then sweep and mop the floor. Boom, kitchen finished while you’re getting your Sons of Anarchy fix. You don’t want to let four months worth of grease build up above the stove and then just spray air freshener before your date comes over and hope that does the trick. It won’t. Your apartment will smell like rancid fat and a mountain stream.
Second…step away from the Yankee Candle. I think cheap candles smell like…cheap candles. They tend to come in really oppressive, heavy, artificial scents, like cloying vanilla bean, or gingerbread hell. See if you can find candles that have a clean, fresh scent. Everyone has their own scent preferences, but I like citrus. Candles that smell like lemon or orange or grapefruit typically aren’t overpowering, plus they reinforce the impression that the place has recently been cleaned.
Scent Hierarchy: Reed diffuser, nice candle, cheap candle, air freshener, strategically placed dryer sheets
Also, consider reed diffusers
Other ideas for a nice smelling apartment include opening the windows during the warm months and making sure that air is circulating through on a regular basis. While you’re in your home for a period of time, your nose acclimates to the odors present, and you’re not a very good judge of how it smells. So, when you walk into your apartment each day, back from work or dinner with friends, be mindful of the immediate smell. In those first few minutes you’ll be more likely to notice that the garbage really needs to be taken out, or maybe you have some old food rotting away in the fridge that needs to be disposed of. Finally…okay, I’m just going to give you the link for a product I noticed recently while in a scents/bath products boutique. In the event of a toilet emergency while a date is already in your apartment, I hope this will save you some measure of embarrassment. I also hope you will NOT think of me when you use it.
-Beth
**Stop laughing.
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There are these lamps that use alcohol based scents, I think Redolere or Sophia are some brand names, with huge selections of scents and are widely available. Those are good and they have some good woodsy or citrusy scents for men.
“Gingerbread Hell”, I nearly died laughing. I don’t know what Yankee Candle use for those cookie smells but it instantly makes me want to vomit.
My wife insists that lit candles when guests come over imply that your house stinks and you’re trying to cover it up. Also, lit scented candles in the bathroom imply that you took a dump right before people came over. So basically no lit candles when company is over.
because you wouldn’t want guests to think you’ve taken a dump in your own bathroom. In fact, that might not be going far enough. I mean, a functioning toilet, no matter how clean, implies one is subject to bowel movements and other unsightly bodily secretions from time to time. Best to turn either cement the whole thing up or fill it with soil and create a nice flower bed. Wait, nix that. Flowers smell nice, and nice smells are a sure fire indication that you’ve recently evacuated your innards. Damn!
If you’re having only one person over, a lit candle in the bathroom might be a little much. But if you’re having multiple guests, I think it’s certainly not a bad thing to have. I’ve never looked at a lit bathroom candle at a friend’s house and though, “Man, I bet Sally just dropped a huge deuce.” It’s more about protecting the modesty of any guests you might have to make an unexpected visit.
who* might have to make an unexpected visit.
lol, well played
Ditto the cleaning thing. If any part of your house smells funny it’s because there is either something funky living there, or some item which has absorbed that smell and now needs to be cleaned. “Cleaning” in this case includes regularly laundering things like bed sheets, towels, and bathroom rugs.
If you want to add good scents in addition to taking the bad scents away, stick with natural, honest good scents. Do some baking in the hours before she comes over. The smell of fresh baked cookies, pie, or bread are better than any artificial scent. Plus she will be impressed by your mad skillz.
Unscented candles are nice to add ambient light, but scented candles smell cheap and false and usually don’t look very good either. Stay away from them, in the bathroom, or anywhere else.
Don’t use flame candles at all and you’ll significantly cut down on the amount of dusting you have to do. My girlfriend uses an electric tart melter for scenting up the place and it works very well.
Voluspa Suede Blanc, it comes in a spray and smells amazing. It’s how you imagine the homes from Architectual Digest smell.
Fabuloso. That is all.
I was watching some program on TV a while back about smells at home and this lady talked about placing unwrapped bars of soap (some like hand made nice fragrant stuff, like Portland General Store) around on end tables (visual), bathroom (obviously!), hall closets (discretely). She was talking about how the nice boutique/hand made soaps also provide a visual accent. I’ve only tried it in the closets and it works.
Agreed with DK here — for parties it isn’t a terrible idea to have a candle in the bathroom going. Much less awkward for guests than if there’s an _unlit_ candle that becomes lit.
By “strategically placed dryer sheets,” is stapling them to the wall okay? If not, I need to find my staple remover.
Just cleaned my apartment out of shame. Thanks for the pointers Beth!
If you have a green thumb you might try plants. I once had a kitchen window box with rosmary and dill. The first thing a woman said when entering my apartment was it smells in here and I’m thinking I forgot to take out the trash but she was referring to the herbs 🙂
My cousin had the poopourri spray and I tried it and the stuff really works. It’s kinda freaky how you can’t smell you know when you are done.
Ha! Nice.
As long as they’re behind your “BEER: Having ugly people have sex since 1862” poster than I think you’re all good.
I assume you meant, “Helping” and I just looked up the poster, and college-me would have loved to have the poster; even me-now thinks it’s pretty bro-tastic.
In spring/summertime I like having basil, because it smells nice and it’s great to add on pastas and for homemade pesto.
Second that… Rosemary grows like crazy. Water it once in a while and you’re all set. Thyme and Basil work well too and all are pretty fragrant. Also good to have on hand if you like to cook.
Personally, I just move every two weeks.
Well of course. But sometimes, the beer really does have the people, and not the other way around. Or something. Yup.
I read this as “electric fart melter.” I was kind of sad to see I had just read it wrong.
Man, basil is the best smell EVER.
Don’t forget the scented dryer sheets in the air vents. They’ll add a light smell, and after a week or two pull them out and throw them in the dryer next time you use it.
I have the grapefruit reed diffusers up and running already. As for bathing your dogs, some breeds you shouldn’t bathe that regularly since it messes with their body oils. There’s dry shampoo for those mutts.
I’ve found Yankee Candles to be great if you pick the right scent. Granted I also use reed diffusers and see no difference between the two.
My grandmother gave me some poo-pourri (was that a hint or a joke?) for Christmas. Easily one of the funniest (but practical) items I’ve ever received as a gift. That stuff actually works, as ridiculous as it seems.
This was great! Nice tips Beth.
“Tips! I said tips.”
Let’s say, completely hypothetically of course, that 2 of your 3 roommates refuse to clean up their own space and refuse to let you clean it up for them?
I was laughing until I saw the ** footnote at the end.
Something I’ve done, drop a quarter or half a lemon in the garbage disposal and let ‘er rip. Does wonders for the funky kitchen.
It’s important to pick scents that are masculine. So much out there is not. For me, though, that includes herbal and citrus scents, which are widely available. So is leather, which is much harder to find. Try Redolere lamp systems or Scentsy wax systems, those are very nice and work.
This is classic. Beth you are singularly and uniquely classic.
the Ferbreze NOTICEables, heated oil diffusers have been my bathroom go to for the passed few weeks now. Just leave it plugged in, can switch to low heat for smaller spaces, and keep it smelling great all day long.
I did this and it got stuck in my piece of shit apartment drain and made the dishwasher not work. So, your mileage may vary.
Get new roommates.