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The girlfriend and I have been invited to an outdoor wedding in Dallas in July. Let me repeat that: Outdoor wedding. Dallas. July. It will be 105 degrees. That is the type of weather that will make you sweat in your bathing suit in the shade.
So the question is, what am I supposed to wear? It is more of an upscale wedding (went to the older sister’s wedding last year – indoors though) so shorts are definitely not an option (not that they would be at a wedding). Have any cool suggestions? Pun intended.
Holy. Hell. Fun fact about me (anyone out there keeping track of all the fun–read: embarrassing–facts I’ve disclosed over the past year and a half? I mean, without the intention of blackmailing me?): I don’t do heat. 60 degrees, a temperate breeze and a sunny sky is my ideal. A hint of humidity or temps above 70 degrees and I’m melting like a snowcone in Phoenix. So first of all what I want to say to you is…who the hell are the lame friends that decided to have an outdoor wedding in Dallas in July? With friends like these…well, you know the rest.
Our fearless Dappered leader suggested seersucker. I second that. For those not familiar with seersucker, it’s a cotton fabric, which is important in heat, because natural fabrics like cotton breathe much better than synthetic fabrics like polyester which trap heat. Seersucker has a slightly bumpy texture, and usually a vertically-striped pattern. The bumpy weave of the fabric actually pulls it away from the skin of the wearer, which makes it superb for hot temperatures. Basically, if you’re as screwed as Dan appears to be, seersucker is an excellent option for making the best of a steamy situation. I like this suit in Navy Stripe and Dark Navy Stripe (tons of sizes available for both). This is another great slim-fitting suit, available in gray and ivory.
Skip the chino. It’ll be heavy. Stick with seersucker or 100% linen. Also, dark seersucker is great for night/mainly inside events, but you’ll burn up in the sun. If the groom is in a black rented tux for this thing, it’s fair to assume that the marriage is doomed. From left: Fitted Brooks Bros. – $498. J. Crew Ludlow – $456. Jos.A. – $395 (wait for sales.)
Another light and cool option is linen. Linen is a great natural fabric: it’s light, it looks good even when wrinkled, it’s stronger wet than dry, it’s comfortable. Plus, it’s made from the fibers of the flax plant. Your doctor been telling you to consume more fiber? Ask him if fashion fiber counts. This suit in light gray looks uber-modern. I know nothing about the company that makes it, but this suit is inexpensive and has a lot of colors and sizes to choose from, including an…interesting sea foam green which would make you a hit with the over-70 set.
Although it sucks to have to shell out for someone’s poor judgment, linen or seersucker suits aren’t a bad investment. Buy them in a classic cut and you can wear them for many summers to come. There are also options like cotton/wool blends, but I still think linen and seersucker are your best bets. Underneath the suit wear an all-cotton shirt to keep the cool times coming. No cotton/poly blends this time.
Guys, any suggestions for keeping cool while attending a party on the face of the sun? Leave them below. Let us speak as men do.
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