Attractive women and their weird-style boyfriends. Why?

Ask A Woman:  Why are some women attracted to guys with really odd style?

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Beth,

Why are some women attracted to the “scene kid” look?  The guys that wear their beanie regardless of exterior temperature, skinny pants, loose thermals, long hair.  Countless times I have seen very attractive women with excellent, tasteful style dating these man-children dressed like one of these scene kids.  What is the allure?

– Ravn

 

Hi David

You mean with a name like Ravn, you’re not a scene kid?  What?  Before we get into this, let’s define “scene kid.”  What you describe as scene kid and what I think of as scene kid is a bit different.  I agree about the skinny pants, but I usually think of short/dyed/spiked/styled hair (or any combination thereof).  Heavy eye makeup (yes, even on guys); vintage band t-shirts; sneakers like vans or Chuck Taylors; assorted jewelry, and so on.  Goth gone glam, perhaps.  But regardless of how you label this specific look, your question is still valid–why are women attracted to guys that stand out and make, in your opinion, regretful style choices?

You are asking a timeless question, my friend.  You can really apply this to any era, and to a number of different looks.  Young men with crew cuts were asking this about preppy girls and their hippie boyfriends in the 70s; straight-laced guys were asking this about poodle-skirt wearing gals and their motorcycle-riding boyfriends in the 50s; jocks were asking this about cheerleaders and their punk rock boyfriends in the 80s, and so on and so on for time immemorial.  The allure is that these men are different.  Different in their time, at least.  They don’t follow the rules.  They get kicked out of school for not cutting their hair, or for wearing it in a mohawk.  They are too concerned with the dark night of the soul to bathe on a regular basis.  It’s the principle of the exotic being erotic–we are drawn to people who are unique.
.

.Danny Zuko.  Original Scene Kid..Now, you may say, but Beth, these guys are a dime a dozen, how is that unique?  Well they started out different.  Remember the first time you saw Lady Gaga?  Holy Hannah.  Now we’ve got Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry walking around with their blue hair and yo-yo-smuggling catsuits, so the bloom is off that rose, but they still stand out because they aren’t like the majority of performers out there.  You put a scene kid in a subway car with a couple unremarkable 20-something gals, a couple unremarkable 20-something guys, and guess who everyone is going to be eyeing up?  That kid with the skinny pants and glitter eye makeup!

There may be other reasons women are attracted to unusually-attired men.  Perhaps guys who aren’t afraid to wear eyeliner and girl jeans are likely to possess other characteristics, such as having a pluralistic viewpoint–they accept many different kinds of ideas, beliefs, and people…since they themselves are a different kind of people.  I suspect it is also possible that there really aren’t that many women with classic sartorial sensibilities palling around town with scene kids, it’s just that when you do see it, it really sticks out and makes an impression, and then it seems like these pairs are all over the place.

Let’s let Paula have the last word on this, mmm?

.
-Beth

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