Dappered

Affordable Men's Style

  • Don’t Miss Anything
  • Start Here
  • Essentials Shop
  • Latest Deals
  • Style Scenarios
  • Reviews

Aging and casual clothes. When are you too old for untucked?

February 16, 2012 By Beth | Heads up: Buying via our links results in us getting a commission (not always, but just about), which helps keep the lights on around here. We also take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

Ask A Woman:  Dressing down when you’re up above 40.

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com

 

Hi Beth,

I’m wondering if I am too old for my casual dress attire.  I’m 41 but tend to look much younger as I keep in shape and have a full head of hair without going grey yet (just my beard, but I’m clean shaven).  I enjoy my youthful appearance, but don’t what to look out of place if I dress too young .

I typically like to wear jeans with a trim un-tucked button down shirt (7 diamonds, Calibrate or Boss) and keep a fairly conservative style (nothing fancy).  I’m in reasonable shape at 5’11” 170lbs, but wondering if I’m just too old to be dressing this way.  I think my shirts look stupid tucked into jeans, and don’t know if I need to chuck the jeans all together and go business casual on the weekends too?

My friends my age are all getting heavier, going bald or graying and tuck cheap off the rack shirts into jeans and I feel like I look out of place sometimes.  Any thoughts?

David


Hi David,

Oooh, 41, eh?  ‘Bout to kick the bucket?  Wondering when you’re gonna croak?  Well you’ve lived a good life, my friend, take comfort in that at least.  (Is the sarcasm getting through, David?)  I think you should go on dressing the way you’ve been dressing, but before we get to that point, let’s talk about why your friends might be dressing differently than you.

Your friends may be tucking their shirts into jeans because they are, as you mentioned, getting heavier, and they don’t want their beer belly swaying in the wind underneath the shirt.  But this would be the case whether they were 31 or 41–it’s a matter of weight gain, not age (although the two, unfortunately, do go hand in hand).  As for their choice in clothing–“cheap off the rack shirts”–this may also be because they’ve gained weight.  Taking care in your appearance is a sign of self-respect and confidence, and often (though not always) with weight gain, those two things diminish a bit.  Their motivation to seek out high quality clothing may not be there.

It may not be an issue of weight gain at all, but simply a lack of interest.  They just don’t care that much about clothing anymore.  They’ve seen enough fads; they’ve been in enough fitting rooms.  Maybe it seems vapid and unimportant next to their careers and families and hobbies; maybe they simply have no time to worry about whether their outfit is on-trend.  Whether it’s weight gain or lack of interest, my point is that none of your friends are saying to themselves when they get dressed in the morning, “Man, I’d rather wear a pair of tailored wool trousers and a fine merino sweater and a pair of wingtips, but since I’m halfway to 80 you know what that means–stonewashed jeans and that booster club t-shirt from my son’s school.”  They aren’t wearing what they’re wearing simply because they’re getting older; they’re wearing what they’re wearing because their bodies have changed or they don’t value style anymore, both of which can be attributed to aging, but are not the same thing as age.  You follow me?

How different a casual 40 can look: Daniel Craig and Richard Karn.

You’re not in the same boat as your friends.  You still want to look sharp.  I say bravo! You’re not too old to wear jeans (but not these, please).  You’re not too old to wear untucked button down shirts.  Don’t force yourself into tucked-in flannels just because your friends are.

As far as feeling out of place…this issue seems no different than the readers who have chimed in over the past year and a half about being called out by friends and coworkers for being “so dressed up.”  If you put a lot of care into your appearance, you will inevitably feel out of place at times because–to make a generalization, but one that I feel is true–most people don’t give a damn what they put on their bodies.  Next time you’re at the grocery store, look around.  You’ve got the teenager in her pajama pants and slippers over near the deli; you’ve got the 30-year-old dude in a t-shirt with holes at the armpits; you’ve got the 45-year-old woman wearing no bra and a sweatshirt that goes down to her knees.  Next to this crowd, anyone with access to a mirror would be out of place.  Accept that you like what you like, and wear it well.

Finally, if all this doesn’t convince you–my grandma is 92.  She wears jeans.  Yes, she has them laundered at the dry cleaners and they are pressed right down the middle of the leg, but she’s got ’em.  If Granny can, you can.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com

Daniel Craig Photo Credit: wonderferret

Filed Under: Clothing Tagged With: advice, Ask A Woman, dressing your age, untucked shirt

Continue the Conversation …

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Send us a tweet, join the discussion on Facebook, or hit us up on Instagram!

Don’t Miss Anything

Subscribe via email to get articles in your inbox or add Dappered on Flipboard. You can also follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Or subscribe to push notifications to get alerts immediately.

New Here?

Well, welcome to Dappered. Here are what we consider the most useful posts on the site if you're looking to put a little more effort into your appearance. Just want to see our favorite menswear products? Shop our essentials here.

Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Sharp, dark, and handsome for a nice night out.

Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More

Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More

There is a peculiarity about the Rhone pack deals though.

BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful

BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful

Totes, sneakers, and Nordy Rack is worth a look.

Follow Dappered on Instagram »

Men’s Fashion or Affordable Style?

Men's Fashion or Affordable Style?

Fashion is temporary and expensive. Style is timeless and affordable. Dappered® helps you work the retail system so that you can be comfortable, look sharp, and save money.

Want to share a great product? Email Us.
For a fit perspective, see Joe's measurements.
Make sure to read our affiliate disclosure.

CONNECT WITH DAPPERED

Thanks! Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Most Popular on Dappered

  • BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful
  • Style Scenario: It’s still winter. (Nothing over $100 edition)
  • The Dappered Space: 5 Essential Home Decor Items for any grown-guy’s home
  • The 2023 Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Her
  • Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More
  • Spier launches new $298 Half Canvas Suit Line – The Best Wedding Suit under $300?

Popular Topics

  • Best dress shirts to own
  • Best looking watches under $100
  • Best men’s dress shoes under $200
  • Nike Killshot sneaker alternatives
  • How to wear a suit without a tie
  • Suitsupply store review
  • Suitsupply Blue Line review
  • J. Crew Factory Thompson suit review
  • How much does it cost to tailor a suit?
  • Dopp kit essentials
  • Brown shoes with gray pants
  • Men’s style buying guide

Copyright © 2023 Dappered.com | Dappered, LLC | Dappered® is a registered trademark of Dappered, LLC

Hat tip: Magazine Pro Theme On Genesis Framework

Dappered does not collect or sell its users personal information | Disclosures: Privacy and Affiliates, Gilt.com, FTC

WPE

We work with partners that use cookies to understand how visitors use our site. Find out more.