Ask A Woman: Is a small amount of back hair a big problem?
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
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Hi Beth:
I’m developing some back hair. Nothing crazy and nothing forrest like. But I’ve noticed some sprouts shooting up off my shoulders.
I don’t want to get my back waxed or whatever it is guys do to get rid of back hair. But I’m single and looking. How bad is this in the eyes of potential mates?
Thanks for your posts on Dappered.
– Chris
Hi Chris,
Well, Dappered readers, just when you thought we had covered every conceivable issue having to do with body hair…another question pops out of the woodwork! And…another opportunity for a Sex and the City reference! What a red letter day!
One of the joys of aging is the appearance of body hair in places it wasn’t before (or so I’m told–I remain youthful and smooth with each passing year, gaining only wisdom and useful experience to guide those less fortunate). This happens to everyone. Because I feel passionate about upholding journalistic standards here on Ask A Woman, I consulted the foremost medical expert available to find out why this is the case. Unfortunately, WebMD, purveyor of useful medical advice like suggesting you have brain cancer if you’re experiencing a headache, pointed me to an article labeled “Slideshow: Embarrassing Male Body Problems.” Which turns out to be just that–a slideshow of unappetizing pictures, without much explanation of the conditions shown. Super!
After doing some more digging, I found that back hair growth is caused simply by hormones that change as you age. Whether you grow back hair, specifically, seems to be a matter of genetics. If your father grew back hair as he aged, you will, too.
Chris, a couple sprouts of hair on the shoulders are not a deal-breaker. A reasonable, worthy woman is not going to be repulsed by this. So no worries. And I applaud your decision not to wax. Remember what happened to Harry on SATC? Charlotte made him wax his back before going to a pool party. He had a terrible allergic reaction, and when he took off his shirt at the party, his back had broken out into festering red blemishes.
Ick. Ee. Poo.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
Did she really just make a reference to SATC..
I rolled my eyes when I saw the question, but that second paragraph is easily the funniest thing I’ve read all week. I lost it completely once I realized the slide show was exactly as advertised.
You must be new here.
Again, as the resident Queer Eye for the Dappered Guy, I feel compelled to chime in. And again, as before, I respectfully disagree with Beth: back/shoulder/lower neck hair is never acceptable! Ever! Hair on head, chest, legs, and even (fore)arms is sexy, but the back? Never ever ever.
Don’t make me explain why, just take a man’s man’s word for it.
So what to do? Wax, laser, or electrolyze it. Never shave or use nair, as it’ll grow back thicker and more repulsive than before. Waxing takes some getting used to, but I’ve been rolling it into ever 4th or 5th haircut, making it a mindless non-issue. I think i had a reaction the first 2-3 times, but never since And the more you do it, the slower it grows back. Im down to every 2 months or so now. Suppose it would have been cheaper to just laser it, but that was way priced back when my gay sensibilities first kicked in!
And even if for some bizarre reason your woman digs the back rug, unless you get rid of it, don’t even think about wearing tank tops, low-neck t-shirts, or really anything without a collar. It’s unsightly and people will judge you!
So
Every time I click on these articles I think “this time it’ll be different”, but it’s not. I like the idea of this column, but I wish Beth would speak truth, specifically that there is NO answer to the above question. Or, more specifically, that there will be as many answers to it as there are women (or men, if that’s your persuasion).
“…a couple sprouts of hair on the shoulders are not a deal-breaker. A reasonable, worthy woman is not going to be repulsed by this. So no worries.” Sounds like you two agree on at least some level. She speaks the truth all the time. From her perspective at least.
“Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” -El Duderino
This is an interesting question…and it caused me to think about what I’m attracted to/repulsed by. While back hair, in general, doesn’t bother me, shoulder sprouts do tend to turn me off. Chris, if you only have a few hairs on your shoulders, I would suggest waxing or plucking. Start now and it’ll become a habit and non-issue. Once the back hair starts creeping over onto the shoulders, it’s time to start some manscaping.
I have three sprouts on the back of each shoulder that can get up to 1 – 1 1/2″ long. I guess since I don’t notice them it doesn’t bother me. When my wife plucks them it botches my goal of braiding them together and adding a single bead.
Chris, I think you’re getting too concerned with the small stuff. Unless the reoccurring response to you taking your shirt off is scared people attempting to placate you with bananas while calling animal control then your back hair is a non-issue.
So, I assume a Class 9, or Robin Williams-level of hair coverage, would be looked down upon? #Simpsons
Here’s some context for you Rich: http://dappered.com/2011/07/a-party-your-boss-and-not-looking-like-a-suck-up/
BOOM
What about a hairy butt? Seriously.
Ha! Just thought I’d chime in (since I’m a woman). My man’s had back hair since we met and we were teenagers then. So it’s not just a matter of age. He’s just a hairy dude. I didn’t know he had it until I was already smitten. And it’s not just a few hairs. It’s kinda all over. Honestly, I don’t love it, but I’m not perfect either. Over the years he’s usually shaved it on and off during the summer and he recently waxed it for a trip. It hurt (duh) and he broke out in some places.
If it’s just a few hairs here and there, shave it when you think you might be shirtless or get a wax or two during summer. But unlike leg hair, which is pretty easy to just shave off in the shower, shaving your full back requires effort and possibly the help of another person. Regular back waxing will be costly. I guess this is from the perspective of an old married lady, but the right girl for you is going to overlook (or maybe even like…who knows) things about you that are hard to change.
Wow. As if it’s any wonder that people just, on the whole, don’t seem to like homos.
Well, at least, homos like Ryan E. Homos like me, on the other hand, will tell you that some back hair is never a dealbreaker, only the extremely shallow would ever judge someone because of that (ahem) and, so long as you’re not sporting a Robin Williams level pelt, you can wear whatever you damn well please, so long as you’re presentable.
As a gay man, allow me to apologize for Ryan E’s appalling reaction. We’re not all judgmental queens. And Ryan E – what’s your number? I kinda have a thing for judgmental queens (and no backhair, I promise)
Wow. As if it’s any wonder that people just, on the whole, don’t seem to like homos.
Well, at least, homos like Ryan E. Homos like me, on the other hand, will tell you that some back hair is never a dealbreaker, only the extremely shallow would ever judge someone because of that (ahem) and, so long as you’re not sporting a Robin Williams level pelt, you can wear whatever you damn well please, so long as you’re presentable.
As a gay man, allow me to apologize for Ryan E’s appalling reaction. We’re not all judgmental queens. And Ryan E – what’s your number? I kinda have a thing for judgmental queens (and no backhair, I promise)
There’s a cultural dimension that needs attention here. Some cultures, all the guys are as hairy as can be. In the US we tend more toward white ethnics with RELATIVELY less hair and other ethnicities (Asian, African) with considerably less hair. The answer is going to vary by where you are.
Of course back hair is acceptable. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t grow there.
To a certain extent I think back hair depends on your shirtless exposure. For someone that almost never takes off their shirt, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. But, if you spend a lot of time outdoors you might want consider wax or laser.
The shaving thing about it coming back thicker is a myth, it has to do with the angle the hair is cut, some razers will cause the hair to feel stiffer, some won’t. But the hair will not come back thicker or more dense. The advantage of wax or laser is that both will take longer intervals between treatments. Yes laser can take many treatments before the hair barely ever grows back. Rolling, can also damage the follicles enough to prevent hair growth, but you will either need a special someone to help you do this or pay someone for the privilege
Despite Beth’s answer, women tend to be pretty fickle. For some back hair may not be any issue, but I imagine there a more who will be skivvied out by it than not. Personally, I was more horrified that I had two sprouts crop up right under my shoulder blades (where I could not reach) and attacked it like I would the undead or anything else un-natural. Thankfully, that was only spot.
As a young 20 something homo, I’m with you Julio.
Check out http://www.mangroomer.com – The Professional Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver. It works awesome!
Hair does not grow back thicker if you shave it. Try again.
One way of making back hair, even thick back hair, a mostly non-issue, would be to work out and get ripped. Excellent fitness has a way of beautifying even the homliest of sasquatches.