From the Mailbag: Being an Individual

Individualism (or lack thereof) on Dappered

Above Black Sheep Photo Credit

I’ve been enjoying your site for a few months now.  I find that you have several helpful tips and classic approaches to style.  My one complaint is that it seems that the styles that are often depicted lack any individualism.  If you are dressing like the ad you received in the paper I guess that’s fine.  But I’ve always wanted to stand out a little or formerly a lot.

What I do now that I have a job and want to move forward in it is use accessories and colors for an expression of individualism.  I wear a ring that my grandfather made, or green shoes (I’m thinking of your green pants, I’d wear them!)  If a person is going to pull an oddity off than the rest of your outfit must contain style and said accessory must be worn confidently.  What are your thoughts?

– Matthew
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What are my thoughts?  I have two:

1. To many, I’m probably considered stylistically subtle or downright boring. But that’s me, and I’m good with that.
2. This website isn’t about me. And I can’t tell anyone how to be an individual.

If you’re trying to be an individual, then you’re not. (I know, heavy.) If you’re often looking for someone to show you how to be an individual, then you run the risk of coming off as contrived.

If you have a ring that your grandfather made and you love it? Of course you should wear it whether rings are “in” or not. You’ve got to do what feels/looks best to you and to hell with the detractors. That’s why there are few if any “rules” mentioned on this website, and the suggestions are nothing more than that. Just suggestions.

It’s better to show your individuality in how you act than in how you dress, and sometimes too much emphasis is placed on the latter. At the same time those pieces of individuality (like the Grandfather’s ring) are terrific, yet pretty difficult to suggest to a group. Besides, no one can effectively tell you how to add those true individual touches to your personal style. That should be all up to you.

Because if that weren’t the case? There’d be even more guys walking around with barbed wire bicep tattoos.

So we’ll err on the side of caution.  Just can’t risk having that blood on the hands.