Ask A Woman: Buying her Lingerie
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
.
—
Greetings Beth:
My wife and I have been married for a year and a half, and I think I want to buy her something this year that I’ve never purchased for her before. Lingerie. Nothing too out there, just something nice. Not to over describe, but she already owns an interesting set or two. So she’s not totally against wearing something other than the plain stuff.
Is this a good idea? Bad idea? If I discreetly check the sizes she already wears will I be pretty safe on fit if I just get the same sizes in store?
– Vince
.
Hi Vince,
You naughty devil. I’ll try to answer your question without blushing. I believe there are two schools of thought on buying lingerie for your significant other (SO). The first says that such a gift will make her feel sexy and beautiful. The second says that such a gift really isn’t for her; it’s for you, which makes it not a gift at all. Let’s break it down:
1) If your SO wears lingerie happily–i.e., she puts it on without you asking, she seems to delight in lacey, naughty night-things–a gift of negligee is fabulous. Many women feel such a gift shows that their SO finds them attractive and desirable. And especially if you’ve been with your wife for many years, it can be especially important to let her know that the flame is still there.
However…
2) Some women aren’t on the lingerie train (choo! choo!). They don’t see the point in spending a lot of money on something they won’t be wearing for very long. And while negligee is pretty, the benefit is really for the man, who gets to see his object of lust wearing something hot.
So what I’m saying is, find out which person your SO is. Vince, it sounds like your wife falls in the former category since she already owns (and I’m assuming wears) a number of pieces. Yes, buy her another set–she’ll likely be delighted that you’re adding to her collection. It is a safe bet to get her size from lingerie she already owns. It’s even safer to match both size AND brand, since sizes can vary drastically from store to store. So if you know she’s a medium at Vicky’s Enigma, you’re better off buying another medium there rather than, say, Freddy’s of Halifax, where she might be a large.
Got it? Now go have fun, you sexy beast.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
………………
Do not EVER buy clothing for a woman. Never. You won’t get it right. This is nobody’s fault, it’s just the facts.
Disagree. It’s not as easy as buying for yourself, and it’s not easy period, but you’re going a little far there. I wouldn’t make a habit out of it, but an item here or there as a gift, can often work out great. Has for me before. But always keep that receipt.
I’m going to side with Joe here. It’s difficult, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying NEVER do it. Every now and then you see something that’s just perfect, or maybe she’s lingered a few moments when she passed it by in a window. Always keep the receipt though, just in case.
Sorry, I also have to disagree. Without rehashing Joe’s and Jed’s good comments I’d like to add that even when you get it wrong, most of the time she will appreciate the effort and thought.
As Beth points out, doing your research on the sizes and brands she wears helps a lot. If you’ve found something that you think that she would like and would look great, but the fit is unknown, talk to a knowledgeable rep. I have even picked out a sales rep based on body type – “My girlfriend normally wears a 6 in [brand] and a 4 in [brand], and she’s curvy like you, what do you suggest?”. If it’s a close call, I get the smaller size, especially if the larger is more available.
This may sound like work but it can be fun if you make it and the rewards for the effort are huge. 🙂
Oh me, you guys have some heartbreak coming! 😉
Have to agree with Joe and you guys too. It’s not easy, but she knows that. When you get it right, man you get it RIGHT. If you try enough and take careful note when you’re out shopping with her, you’ll start to get a pretty good idea. It just takes some attention to detail and perceptiveness.
Cheers,
Ben
I’ve bought many articles of clothing for women, and it’s always been appreciated.
See what she likes style wise. Probably do your best not to go overly trashy… Also, certain garments give much more latitude fit wise than others. Babydolls, slips, and anything without particularly fitted cups are pretty easy. Bras, corsets, etc. are damn near impossible.
And if your lady is the latter of the two, how would you land her in some lingerie so that she feels sexy as opposed to thinking it’s only for my chubby?