The Details Magazine “Pretentious Tool Quiz”

The Pretentious Tool Quiz from Details Magazine

To me, Esquire magazine isn’t pretentious.  GQ is kinda pretentious, and Details Magazine is solidly pretentious.  And there’s something terribly odd about taking a quiz administered by a magazine that is pretentious… in which the purpose of said quiz is to determine if you are in fact pretentious.

For God sakes, just a few clicks over on the Details Magazine website they’re saying you should buy the BOSS toggle cardigan pictured above.  A couple hundred bucks for that?  You ever heard of buttons?  Talk about pretentious.  On the pretentious-clothing-fastener matrix, the toggle is off the chart:

With that said… I still took the damn quiz.  And yes, I identified with some of it.  Sure I’ve got some eye cream at home… my wife got me hooked on it and I got sick of people telling me “you look tired” all the time.  I think British stuff does look better.  I have recommended my tailor, and they then asked if my business venture has a social networking site? What… they’re not a fan of Dappered on Facebook?

But in my defense, I had no clue what they were even asking on a bunch of the questions.

Still,  I got the feeling that when the last question had been answered, Details Magazine was going to think I’m a bit of a pretentious tool.  But who’s more pretentious?  My eye cream dabbing, British stuff liking, tailor recommending self?  Or the magazine that knows enough about whatever the hell a Marfa is, to ask me if I’d like to go to it.

So I finished up the quiz and here’s how I scored:

SAYS THE MAGAZINE WHO WANTS ME TO BUY THAT F*CKING SWEATER…  Good luck, let us know how you did.  Looks like it’s time for me to go home and dab on some eye cream.  This Pretentious Tool looks a bit tired.