The Pretentious Tool Quiz from Details Magazine
To me, Esquire magazine isn’t pretentious. GQ is kinda pretentious, and Details Magazine is solidly pretentious. And there’s something terribly odd about taking a quiz administered by a magazine that is pretentious… in which the purpose of said quiz is to determine if you are in fact pretentious.
For God sakes, just a few clicks over on the Details Magazine website they’re saying you should buy the BOSS toggle cardigan pictured above. A couple hundred bucks for that? You ever heard of buttons? Talk about pretentious. On the pretentious-clothing-fastener matrix, the toggle is off the chart:
With that said… I still took the damn quiz. And yes, I identified with some of it. Sure I’ve got some eye cream at home… my wife got me hooked on it and I got sick of people telling me “you look tired” all the time. I think British stuff does look better. I have recommended my tailor, and they then asked if my business venture has a social networking site? What… they’re not a fan of Dappered on Facebook?
But in my defense, I had no clue what they were even asking on a bunch of the questions.
Still, I got the feeling that when the last question had been answered, Details Magazine was going to think I’m a bit of a pretentious tool. But who’s more pretentious? My eye cream dabbing, British stuff liking, tailor recommending self? Or the magazine that knows enough about whatever the hell a Marfa is, to ask me if I’d like to go to it.
So I finished up the quiz and here’s how I scored:
SAYS THE MAGAZINE WHO WANTS ME TO BUY THAT F*CKING SWEATER… Good luck, let us know how you did. Looks like it’s time for me to go home and dab on some eye cream. This Pretentious Tool looks a bit tired.
