Dressing well is a tool. Use it to do something other than dress well.

Recently, the silly website you’re reading right now published a post about how eschewing (fancy word!) effort in lockdown can get you eaten by a bear. Or something along those lines. It was sort of about clothes. About how dressing well especially when you don’t have to pays off. It was actually about more than that, but, whatever. Anyway, the post hit social media and kinda took off. Boy howdy did it!

Rad.

Bowl of F*ck guy doesn’t believe dressing well “works.” He doesn’t see it as a tool, he sees it as an albatross. A waste of time. It’s uncomfortable. It’s expensive. “It’s gay.” (whatever that means). This is despite all signs pointing to yes, putting some effort into your appearance (within context) absolutely helps someone further their position in life. Bowl of f*ck guy rejects this though. He doesn’t believe that dressing well is an effective means to an end.

And that’s terrific. I hope he and his bowl f*ckin friends continue to think this way. These guys and their reactions, graciously proved the point. Whatever it is they’re doing (or not doing), plenty of us are running as far and as fast as we can away from that. Thank you, bowl f*ckers. May your bowls forever runneth over, with f*ck.

Meanwhile on some men’s fashion forums, despite a current global crisis that’s steamrolling people’s livelihoods (and sadly worse), self-anointed “gents” are talking about switching from their $3000 suits to velvet dressing gowns, all while wondering just how their bros are gonna ogle their new Rolex (his fourth) over Zoom. Wristwatch “Sex Piles” over a choppy google hangout? For shame.

But here’s where it gets weird.

Theses guys are just like Bowl of F*ck guy. They also don’t see dressing well as a means to an end. They see it as the end. That’s the goal. Pure hedonic treadmill, or worse. Buy the stuff, put on the stuff, magic puff of smoke and BANG they’re immediately virtue signaling “I’m better than you!” to the world. Doesn’t matter where they’re headed or what they’ve done or how they make others feel. Spend money = I’m better than you Bourgeois Bob, choke on my $130 pocket square you cargo short wearing sh*t-pail peasant.

They’re the same. There’s only one letter of difference between Snob and Slob. As is often the case, it’s not a straight line with one angry person at one end, while their so-called opposite is burping up outrage at the opposite pole. It’s a damn circle. And while their backs might be facing each other, if you put on earmuffs? They sure as hell start to look and sound alike.

This is where I’m supposed to tell you to not be like either of them. This is where I’m supposed to encourage those who are currently assuming one of those personas to change. Plenty of us have been there at one time or another.

But I’m not going to. It wouldn’t work, and frankly, I don’t care.

Go for it.

Because some of you guys get it. Plenty others don’t. And that’s okay! Because all of those who don’t get it mean one thing to you and me:

They’re less competition for us.