Mardi Gras Beads, GPS Needs, & the Future of Deep Fried Feeds

RAMBLIN’ HAMM:

(thank you)

CONSPIRACY THEORY OF THE WEEK: Many of my friends and I have joked about this very thing. Because these stores are ev-er-ee-where in our valley.

STFU: This is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve come across in some time. And that is saying something.

NO, NOPE, NOT-UH, NYET, NON, NEE, NEIN, ANIYO, NAE, & NIT: But hey! Good for you. Thanks for the pics. I nearly barfed but thanks, really. (Thanks to my editor for this one.)

SAY IT AIN’T SO (DOSSIER UPDATE):  That Ferry McFerryface story out of Australia just took a turn for the wtf. This is equally disappointing and effed up. Also, while we are down under, it had become clear to me that you just don’t want to get near these things.

TECHNICOLOR TRIPPIN’:

(thank you)

The Dossier’s chief import specialist Eric H serves up another batch of the interesting, the odd and the “did she really say that?” for this week’s edition. We thank him for his service.

CORPORATE LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: I have been to leadership camps, leadership summits, leadership team building (the list goes on and on and on) and not one of them offered up something as obvious (maybe?) and useful to me as this. This is something I know I’ll be able to take advantage of.  Editor’s Note: I’ve tried some of these, or some like these, in a recent attempt to stop asking people what they do for a living. The end result is usually confusion by the other person, because they’re so used to being asked what they do for a living, that they can’t quite comprehend you asking something different. I’m not saying it’s bad that this happens, just be prepared. For some awkward silence. 

ICE ICE BABY: Come for the amazing photograph. Stay for the instructions on creating one of these beautiful climbing parks in your winter wonderland. And no. I’m not linking to THAT song so you can relax. Also, it’s in your head now, isn’t it?

D’OH: Well this is embarrassing.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Tastes like a hairy nut.” Moist, and extraordinary. Also, it’s going to be what we eat here in a generation or so, so get comfy with it.

THE LOVERS, THE DREAMERS AND ME:

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT…you know the rest. This is not a small development in the evolution of health care.

SPEAKING OF HEALTH CARE: This is a perfect example of why I consider most insurance companies to be evil. That’s a little e and everything. But still. Boo.

THAT WHOLE BITCOIN GOES BONKERS THING? Yeah, about that.

BUT DOES IT COME WITH A SHARPENER? This is just all kinds of cool. I think this dude would have flipped out over this.

THE MOVES. THE STYLIN’ DUDS. THE KEYTAR! 

(thank you)

STFU2: This is why many people find some vegans to be insufferable nincompoops. Some. I said some. And of course there is hyperbole in that statement but I mean, c’mon already, this doesn’t help the cause.

HEY GUYS? Get your flu shot. This year is brutal.

WHAT ARE MILLENNIALS DESTROYING THIS WEEK? Spins the wheel…outdoor equipment sales. On the other hand, they might bring back these things (shudders). My advice? Don’t.

IF YOU WANT TO SING OUT, SING OUT. If you want to be free, be free. If only they would let her live her life the way she wants. What a great story. Also, if you’re wondering about the first couple lines there, this should clear things up.

THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT THESE BIRDS…the more I love them.

NEEDS MORE KEYTAR:

(thank you)

STFU3: No. This is a bad take. Is it too much to ask for people to use common sense? Besides, are they going to ban my dish-washing detergent too, because…

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE TACKY THINGS: A flash, a catch, and drunken oblivion all washed down the drain.

HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GPS? You’ll need to talk to the Air Force about that. Also, hope you really don’t need it for a couple weeks.

ROBOTS ARE STEALING OUR JOBS: This week it happens to be bartenders. I guess at some point robots will have all the jobs and we won’t.

AN INCOMING SMORGASBORD: Presented by Eric H and Tim. Netflix gets busy, horror movies abound and just when you thought we had run out of super heroes…

INCOMING: THE MAIN FEATURE

AND NOW THE REST OF THE STORIES: Eric isn’t much of a horror fan but he sure found some good trailers. Steven Soderbergh’s new movie was shot on an iPhone. It looks…super creepy. Here’s one from Netflix which features dudes who make a lot of poor decisions. Speaking of Netflix, they really have ramped up production of their own original movies and licensed exclusives. This documentary about potatoes in the Georgia region of Russia looks fantastic. And when it comes to looks, this upcoming movie from director Duncan Jones is visually engaging. Andre The Giant. Whether you followed his wrestling career or just loved him in the Princess Bride, this looks like a must see. And finally, one more superhero movie from Marvel.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.