Halloween Candy by State, Smartphone Dangers, & Online Dating’s Effects

THE ENERGIZER BUNNY OF SLASHER FLICKS:

(thank you)

Your soundtrack for the week ahead can be found right here.

IT’S JUST ONE WEEK… til All Hollow’s Eve. Here’s what your state is serving up for those little monsters. I’m pretty disgusted with my state. Not gonna lie. (Editor’s Note: Off to Maryland, BRB.) Meanwhile, there are a few well known facts about the holiday which are anything but. 

HALLOWEEN KITTEH: I’m pretty sure I’m in need of one of these right meow. Here’s the deal on the breed. Purrfect.

PRESCRIPTION FOR CAPITOL HILL: This is both interesting and kind of frightening.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF PRESCRIPTION: Virtual Reality can have real world benefits. 

THE CONTINUING SAGA OF EQUI-FUX: This is beyond ridiculous. I mean, this is trolling level incompetence. Meanwhile, this might be relevant to your interests if you’re concerned about your home wifi network getting hacked (apparently we kind of maybe should be).

SCOOBY-BOOOO!

(thank you)

Our intrepid Vice President of Outsourced Content Eric H. found time to send us a ginormous batch of linkables this week even though he’s prepping for his first enduro mountain bike race. Good luck Eric!

AND SO IT BEGINS: Listen, if I have to see holiday ads, I’m fine with these. Also, yes, this is happening. I mean, you’ve started shopping amiright? No? Just me? Nevermind.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS: Also, this is why I hate people, mostly. I can only hope that whoever did this is eaten alive by some kind of tree borer beatle, because, f&%k those douchecanoes.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: Bespoke condoms.

THE HISTORY OF HIP-HOP… is incomplete without this man’s story. And what a story it is.

ARE YOU A GAMER? Then this is the best news you’ll read today. Prepare to share with all the haters.

LIGHTNING ROUND! Don’t be like that guy. Like, wow. | Nope. | That would be a gourmet nope. | This woman is the definition of bad ass. | Oh FFS. Just stop. | Snakes. Burlesque. 50’s. Zorita.

THIS IS A THING OF BEAUTY:

(thank you)

FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK: This is worth a couple minutes of your time. Especially if you have ever wondered about the foundation of being a good person. This is hard.

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH: Our love for those things we cannot seem to live without is killing us. Then there’s this. I wonder how long I’d last if I tried to not use my phone for a day or two. As if.

BESIDES, YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THE PHOTOS: Online dating is actually changing the nature of society. 

AND NOW, FROM SWEDEN…They stood by their word and we all have a new favorite piece of public transportation. And at the other end of the spectrum of everything, they are making people change the way they think about what it means to prep.

THE WHALES OF RALEIGH: A tale of grease, dung and yes, whales.

BURNIN’ FOR YOU:

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TRIPPIN’ BALLS: It might be the answer to what ails you.

MEANWHILE, IN AUSTRALIA: Come at me bro!

SECOND THOUGHTS IN SILICON VALLEY: Not everyone is happy with that famous like button. I wonder how this is playing out in Palo Alto.

THINGS YOU WILL NEVER SEE IN AMERICA…Category: high elevation highway overpasses. You might want to skip right ahead to “oh hell no.”

SHARK VS ALLIGATOR: Who you got? Wrong! Or, you know, not.

fft-fft-fft-ff-tft-fft-fft-fft-fft-fft.

(thank you)

SASQUATCH McSASQUATCHY FACE: Bigfoot country is being all bigfooty.

THE CASE AGAINST SUGAR: The more they find out, the less sweet it is. 

HEY YOU GUYS! It’s true. You can buy anything on Amazon.

JEEPERS CREEPERS: Your peepers self pollute in order to save your sight. I’m ok with this.

THE CATS OF INSTAGRAM: This one is having a blast. Goals.

INCOMING!

This looks. So good. Can’t even. Breathe.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly. But wait, there’s more mostly!