Bond is (coming) back, Champagne Tower how-to, & get Rob Zombie’s Real Estate Agent on the phone

INCOMING!

READY PLAYER ONE: Trailer User’s Guide.

LIFE IMITATES ART: Not even kidding, this has played out in so many Sci-Fi stories it’s pass©. Only this is voluntary.

IN A POST-TRUTH WORLD…this is terrible news. I can’t even joke about it. But this? This should piss you off.

GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS? Good news if it’s better than Spectre. Otherwise…

R.I.P. OF THE WEEK: Chances are someone you know will be devastated by this news. Be kind to them. Especially if it is you. STOP, REWIND, UPDATE: You can stop screaming now. Phew. That was close.

INCOMING!

DON’T STOP BELIEBING! Say it ain’t so. And yes, the only reason I even shared this story is because of the headline. You just can’t waste something like that.

SOMEONE CALL ROB ZOMBIE! This seems like his kind of place. Just imagine his improvements. I’m doing it right now. And, now I’m not. Oh, definitely click through, because: local television news.

DAMN NATURE! Just when you think you’ve seen the nastiest thing possible, something else steps up and says “Yo!”

HEY ALANIS! Now this is ironic. It’s also political in nature so heads up.

THAT RUBBERTREE PLANT WAS A RED HERRING: If mentally unstable narcissistic oligarchs don’t take us down, these guys will.

INCOMING!

ABOUT THAT TRAILER^^: The music you hear in that trailer comes from my friend’s band. I’m super excited for him. This seems like a big deal, right? You can check out the song on its own, right here.

LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: You spent a lot of money on this stuff. Don’t throw it out just yet.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE: I have expectations.

A SIMPLE REQUEST: Who wants to gift me with this modest real estate? Please? Surely someone can step up. I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.

SCIENCE! I’ve seen footage like this with regards to helicopters. This seems just a little bit creepy to me. Maybe a lotta bit.

INCOMING!

Hopefully you checked this out earlier in the week. Now that he’s had his own feature I’m not sure how much longer Eric H. can settle for contributing to the Dossier. I’m sure gonna miss him. Also, I really hope he understands that I tease because I grieve.

NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT: This is something I admit I have wondered about. Because, reasons. #huskyshame

FLIP FLOP REDUX: Wait, what? That’s a big number. I wonder if anyone has checked in with this guy? Meanwhile this is exactly the shit I would get cheesed off about.

ERIC HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING THIS…but this particular article might be viewed as controversial in the Dappered home office. And by that I mostly mean myself. Mostly. (Editor’s Note: I used to be a general contractor’s assistant once upon a time. My boss was great. I wasn’t super talented at the job. I’m good with primal stuff, like building fires, sleeping outside, traversing open lands with only my feet for transportation, avoiding poisonous plants and dangerous animals, etc. But tile work, appliances, and plumbing? I’ll just pay someone to fix it before I break it in an attempt to do it myself. I do, at least, know how to quickly shut off the water, gas, and electricity. It’s all about avoiding disaster in my world.) This, on the other hand, is something we can all agree on. Mostly.

LIFE SKILLZ! As Eric says, you never know when this would come in handy.

WITHOUT HYPERBOLE: I don’t see how America survives something like this. But I’m cynical to a fault.

LIGHTNING ROUND! You do NOT want to piss-off this rodent. | This is just about too much. | Whack-A-Puss in the bush. I’m gonna go ahead and apologize for that right now and get it over with.

INCOMING!

TUNE IN: While you’re reading, pop this on in the background.

SCAPE GOAT: Looks like it’s time to find a new one, ya lazy bastards.

BEST. ADVICE. EVER. Cheers.

SPEAKING OF CHEERS: This woman should probably have a national holiday created in her name.

WHAT THE HAMBURGERS? I’m going to be honest. I didn’t watch all of the videos because I was eating dinner.

PLAYLIST TIME: This is actually a list that means something. This is a terrific undertaking. Among my personal favorites, #’s 150, 146, 144, 143, 138, 132, 129, 80, 75, 70, oh screw it. I could easily continue. What an essential collection.

OH WAIT: This is another list worthy of your attention. Warning: this is super duper rabbit hole.

SMH: No.

INCOMING!

MEANWHILE, IN FLORIDA: You really have to give the guy credit for his total lack of fecks given.

“THE AMERICANS” IRL

FITTINGLY SURREAL: It seems a little sick that they could go and dig up Dali and such, but the news about his mustache pretty much makes the story.

CHEERS! You may have already known about this, but it was news to me. And having just watched this incredible movie over the weekend and having finished this remarkable book two weeks ago, I am reminded about how much we were never taught and inspired to find some more history like this. Any suggestions would be welcomed.

TUMBLR FEED OF THE WEEK: Nine times out of ten, I laugh out loud.

INCOMING!

WELL, DUH: This will come as absolutely no surprise to anyone who has ever tried to feed birds in their backyard.

I KNEW IT! Everything you ever suspected about the treadmill is true.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS: I’m sure there are other places that would welcome the business but it seems like we just are too hard on things. I have read similar stories about Barcelona (my favorite city on this orb of ours) and Iceland.

OH NOES! Robot down! ROBOT DOWN!

MONEY MAKES THE WORLD LESS ROUND: This is relevant to my interests this very moment. Not in that time line though. I would opt for more patience.

NOT-AN-ISOLATED-OPINION OF THE WEEK: I am absolutely positive that my very best pal said this exact thing.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.