Bad news for Macy’s, Winona’s Stare, & The over-spokenness of Bespoke

LINUS ALWAYS HAD ALL THE FEELS:

(thank you)

#theachilleshealofthethinkingman

PARTY RULES: This seems kind of reasonable. I guess. Don’t look at me like that. These rules totally suck. Urp.

HEY! Someone should tell the editor about this stuff pronto! I smell a sweet contest here.

RIO! Just when I thought that maybe, perhaps, the games in Rio were going to escape any embarrassing gaffes, things are getting green. And greener still. So naturally, uh, this. Then there’s this. And, because no one saw this coming, this. (Thanks to the editor for the Pepe tip.)

THE TRUTH HURTS: Looks like some folks are once again proving that they have advanced the art of tantrum throwing in the digital age.

WINONA:

(thank you)

WELL THIS IS NOT EVEN UNEXPECTED: Yes, I will be listening to this all weekend.

SMELLS LIKE DEATH SPIRIT: Even Mother Nature is fed up with 2016.

WHAT ARE WORDS FOR? English is kind of a bullshit language when you start to dig into the nuts and bolts of it.

SPEAKING OF WORDS…someone over at the Times has an issue with one we tend to see a lot of.

BAR HARDY:

(thank you)

TROUBLE IN THE CITY? Don’t you hate it when you spend a shit ton of bank on a fancy pad and the building pulls a Pisa?

WELP: More trouble for a venerated department store.

WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ BADGES. Well maybe just a few. Editor’s Note: As Team Dappered’s resident Eagle Scout, I hereby encourage anyone still in the Scouts to slip one of these on their sash as an Easter Egg. Seriously. Do it. How great would it be to have your “cannibalism” badge in between “cooking” and “wilderness survival” on the sash? Makes perfect sense.

ONCE UPON A TIME: These don’t even look real. The hyper stylization looks more the stuff of early century science fiction. But for reals. Completely rad.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS BUT I WANT IT:

(thank you)

IF I COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS…Best closed captioning ever. I mean, from a certain perspective anyway. Am I right? I totally am.

ONCE UPON A TIME…there was evil. This seems like it should be an HBO series. Because, wow.

THE HELL. IS THAT? Lay off the cat chow Luca. Goodness. THE HELL. IS THIS?

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS UP: This would sound beyond over the top were it a novel. But it is England, so…it’s rather perfect.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.