The Pajama Babe Shuffle, Slick Rides, & Beware the Birthday Monsters

DIVERSION OR DISTRACTION?

(thank you)

UNDER THE SURFACE: The oceans are changing in ways tailor made for a horror writer.  

NOT YOUR FATHER’S HABITAT: I wonder if this is happening anywhere else?

THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS: I have a problem with this.

MEANWHILE…in Russia. 

CONSEQUENCES: Maybe there is such a thing as bad publicity.

ONCE UPON A TIME:

(thank you)

Fun, fun, fun on the Autobahn.

CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CALLING: This is the least surprising news in forever. 

YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID: I’m with the MP on this one. 

HARDBALL: When a case of Stockholm Syndrome goes bad.

STAIRWAY TO HEART ATTACK: What could possibly go wrong?

ATTITUDE > SIZE:

(thank you)

STACKED: Not necessarily what you think. Mind blown.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS: We are loving our National Parks to death. Will it come to this?

PERSPECTIVE: I suddenly feel less about myself.

NOT GONNA LIE: For reals, I shuddered when I read this. Can’t. Even. Imagine. Editor’s Note: Never trust anyone, male or female, who takes great pride in their own birthday. e.g. wears a sash, tiara, crown, custom birthday t-shirt, or in all seriousness claims “it’s my birthday/birthday week/birthday month so you have to be extra nice to me!” 

ME AT MOST SOCIAL EVENTS:

(thank you)

THIS IS RICH: At some point I just have to wonder if they are trolling everyone.

TRUE STORY: Once upon a time I figured we’d all get nuked into oblivion. Now it would seem something else is more likely.

HEY ALANIS! Now this is ironic.

GOLDEN SHOWERS? Convenient and environmentally friendly. It’s a win-win situation. Editor’s Note II: Civilization is lost.

SHENANIGANS: Some sneaky slimy whatnots are always one step ahead. Also, this, theoretically, could happen to any of us. Mostly.

INCOMING!

Looks like an anthology centered around a wiener dog. I’m game.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.