Killer Triceps, Gosling and Gladiator, & One Awful Necktie

TRICEP PULLS:

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PERSPECTIVE. Vis a vis recent headlines, this sheds some light on why Brussels has come under attack by the Islamic State.

LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: It’s not always about the smell test. Mostly.

UGH: It is so hard to hate people when you come across something like this. Or, also, this.

TRUE STORY: This is something people don’t really think about until they have to. This is really good to know if you are caring for an elder.

WATER HORSES:

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AWKWARD: Your results may vary.

20 SECONDS ON THE THE CLOCK PLEASE: And go! How many ways can you list how this will go wrong.

I’M ASKING NICELY: Please don’t. You will just feel terrible about it after the fact. Trust me. Editor’s Note: Could they have at least IRONED the dress shirt for the model shots? Meanwhile, saw an overly tanned, teased hair, tons of make-up wearing gal at the gym the other day wearing these. They were blinking as bright as a strobe light. I thought I was having a neurological event.

ONCE UPON A TIME: 

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I TOTALLY GET IT: I hate the mall too.

HEADS UP: If you’ve got yourself a Grandad on the hunt, best make sure he steers clear of this one. Nasty bit of business. Editor’s Note II: Never drink the elderberry wine.

NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME: From the sounds of things, the entire world will be focused on them at precisely the wrong time. As always, it is the people who suffer.

SIMULACRUM:

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I HAD NO IDEA: This is a thing. I mean, it must be a thing since this is the second such Vine I’ve posted in the last few months. And you have to turn the sound up because, as a certified terrible person, it’s the horrified cries of alarm at the end that does it for me every time. Because I just let it loop.

CUE “YAKETY SAX”: Because this was pretty much made for that.

ON THE OTHER HAND…the only thing missing from this story, is one of these.

LIFE. EXPLAINED.

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KFC WTF? Colonel Sanders’ back story is straight up cray. Also, this line right here: At age twelve he became squeamish at the sight of the alphabet leaking from English class into math class, and he dropped out of school, never to return. Solid reason.

CONTEXT: That moment when the whole 3D printing thing finally makes sense. Also, there might be contracts being taken out on this kid.

INTENDED CONSEQUENCES: Be careful what you ask for plan and implement.

INCOMING!

Seriously guys, I can’t wait for this one.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.