UNIQLO’s U.S. Struggles, Your WiFi issues, & Happy Mad Max News

SKATING:

(thank you)

LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: How to get ahead in the world.

AT LONG LAST! Science is finally addressing one of Man’s biggest bummers.

MOTHER NATURE IS A CREEPY BIATCH: It’s a really good thing that these things are on the wee side because they would be my new nightmare. Still might be.

UNIQWHOA! Dappered reader Marshall L tipped us off about troubled times for UNIQLO.

SEA REX.

(thank you)

LIFE IMITATES ART: Minority Report anyone?

HEADS UP: If you’re having a hard time streaming your new favorite online tv show during the holidays, it might be on account of the holidays.

NOT GONNA LIE…This could have been me. Also, what the hell Australia? Y’all just rounded up the worst of the worst, the scariest of the scariest, and secreted them away on your private continent. Meanwhile, closer to home…

PHEW! Glad that’s all cleared up. Also, really? Really.

INSTANT CHRISTMAS WITH CARY GRANT:

(thank you)

CONSEQUENCES: Sometimes life serves up such a spectacular case of Stupid that it’s hard to look away. Then again, there’s this guy.

WHEN ALL THE BAD NEWS SEEMS UNENDING…this. Just in the nick of time.

BONUS LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: Believe me, there will come a time when this will happen. Even if you think it never could. It will. And it will be awkward and smelly and there will be embarrassed entreaties. Someone might even slur “Don’t look at me!” before stumbling away in a haze of day-glo vomit shame. Editor’s Note: That was a brand new necktie you were wearing too, wasn’t it? Damn.

I’M NOT THE KIND WHO SAYS TOLD YOU SO…but told you so. This is kind of a big deal.

KRAMPUS!

(thank you)

YO, BUM RUSH THE SHOW! This is the best advertising a Ford Focus could ever hope for.

UNINTENDED INFLUENCE OF THE WEEK: On the one hand, these names were actual names long before everyone’s favorite photo social media app came along. On the other hand, it’s most likely said app that introduced them to a new group of parents to be. So, yeah.

LOOK AT THE STARS, LOOK HOW THEY SHINE FOR YOU: The privatization of space travel moves right along. This is not a bad thing.

YOU CAN’T WIN FOR LOSING: This. (I’ve decided to give Alanis a break with this one.)

THE LION THE DUDE AND HIS WARDROBE:

CUE SCREENPLAY IN 3…2…1: There is nothing that is not sad and creepy about this.

UM…GUYS…we’re going to need something new for our smoothies. Eventually.

FALL DOWN GO BOOM: Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma comedian. He didn’t mean to make a funny, but he did. And because I am of questionable personal character, I laughed.

INCOMING!

What? You were expecting this?

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.