A terrifying ornament, Reindeer Vapor, & who not to dump

BOO!

(thank you)

HOLIDAY SHENANIGANS…done right. Hilarious.

TIS THE SEASON…to indoctrinate your children? Mouth firmly shut.

WHEN COMFY IS NOT ENOUGH: Balls.

KRAMPUS!

(thank you)

WHAT. THE. HAMBURGERS? Oh no indeed.

OH SURE, YOU’LL LAUGH…But I am going to be honest. I drive a 2000 mid sized SUV. I haven’t been behind the wheel of a new automobile in forever. Allow me to admit that this story hits very close to home. I had to rent a car over the Thanksgiving weekend. It took me three days to figure out the defrost.

THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD: Those who write with fountain pens. And those who don’t. I’m part of the former and I’m willing to give this a try.

BAD SANTA:

(thank you)

SPEAKING OF THE FAT MAN IN THE RED SUIT: There appears to be a debate over the physics of Saint Nick happening over here. I particularly enjoy the rebuttal to the rebuttal.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Because the interwebs can always get more dreadful.

THE BABY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX: I had no idea this was a thing.

THAT ONE TIME THE CHRISTMAS ELF DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY: 

OH THAT’S NASTY! Olympic #@$&.

THE LUMP OF COAL…that passes for my heart warmed (briefly) when I read about this.

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO: Apparently, Uncle Sam is a very disagreeable ex. 

ORIGIN STORIES: There’s a part of me that really, really wants to hear the pitch for this.

THE KIDS ARE DOOMED:

The little shepherd boy from Hell. My pal Tony got this little vintage ornament from his wife. I’m kind of scared for him.

IT’S SHOWTIME! I actually have no problems with this. Which, frankly, amazes me.

OH THAT’S NASTY PART 2: Shudders.

INCOMING!

Need something else to read?

• If you’re a recent addition to the hood, you should head on over here.
• If you think I’ve reminded you about this before, it’s because I have.
• It’s time for end of year gratuities. Here’s one approach to spreading some holiday cheer.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.