Commandments? Look, there are always exceptions to any rule… but it’s going to be real tough to come up with a valid reason for violating some of these. On the one hand, you shouldn’t think too much about what you’re going to wear to the gym. You’re there to work out. Function first. Yet on the other hand, there are a lot of unfortunate gym-style choices happening out there. Originally published in 2011, but a refresh/reminder was overdue.
A t-shirt that has been cut to remove 86% of it’s original fabric does not = a tank top. It’s a gut bib. And some of those spaghetti straps are thinner than shoelaces. You wanna go sleeveless? Fine. Guns out bro. But please keep the prying eyes of Dr. TJ Pectalberg underwraps.
A lot of us would rather smell the previous users body odor when getting on a piece of equipment or a bench. Body odor at the gym? Unfortunate, but it happens. It’s almost expected. Cologne is a choice. An active, “Imma gonna project my existence onto others” choice. And it can be distracting to others around you.
Or leave it in your car. Just don’t drag your luggage around the floor with you. There’s enough to step around and avoid tripping over, let alone all the straps hanging off your hockey bag from high school. And if you use that bag to “save” a place on a bench, at a rack, or on a machine, while you’re off using something else at your leisure? Don’t be surprised if you come back to it 15 minutes later, to find a surprise waiting inside for you. (Shown above: The Blue Claw gym bag included in a previous Bespoke Post Box. Fingers crossed it comes back)
Goes for the fellas too
This commandment is certainly more lax for those who are over the age of 70. Comin’ in to use the lat machine and you’re 82 years old? You wear whatever you damn well please. And that includes pleated jeans. But if you’re not a card carrying member of AARP, and you’re hitting the gym in jorts and clunky work boots… boy… how is chafing not an issue?
Especially if you’re wearing one of those stringer tank tops. One of those + a leather choker style necklace + a stainless steel watch = how the hell are you comfortable wearing all that?
If you’re going to power through a spin class, then by all means. But if you’re thrusting your Lycra clad package skyward with every decline bench press rep, you might want to consider wearing something with a bit more slack to the gym.
Got a pair of enormous studio-monitor, noise cancelling headphones? Awesome. Rock on man. But are you sure you’re not so immersed in the music that you might be singing along? Out loud? Are you REALLY sure? Because some of you are singing along, and very much so out loud. Takes a bit of the edge off all those tats when you hear a dude half-hum half-mumble “this is… the part when I break freeeeeeeee”
It’s 5:15 AM, you’re indoors, and you’re wearing sunglasses. That’s just creepy… brah.
The f*ck Bane. C’mon.
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Hitting the middle ground for the upcoming holiday feast.
In person with Hamilton's new 38mm, quartz powered field watch.