Sinkholes, schlubs and a whole lot of scared old-timers.

FOR THE FOREVER ALONE AMONG US:

WHERE TO START? At first I was like, RIGHT THE HELL ON! Then I was like, oh crap, here we go. Then I was all about the righteous gratification. Then I let this guy sum things up for me. Also, this. Game changer? I could go on, really. Like, uh, THIS.

WELL FOR STARTERS…you need to decide whether you even want or feel the need to wear one, then, if by chance you do, then prepare to be overwhelmed.

THIS, EXACTLY:

DOSSIER UPDATE OF THE WEEK: The feelings-mean-more-than-money edition.

THANKS BUT NO THANKS: I don’t know about you, but my Facebook “look back” video was less than satisfactory (whether I wanted to share it or not). If yours left you wanting, apparently you can edit your own. So, you have nobody to blame but…

D’OH! Well at least he has a good attitude about never learning his lesson.

NIGHTMARE FUEL:

Goblin shark, out of water.

HEY ALANIS: Now this is ironic.

SOCHI SENDS A MESSAGE: You think he thinks it’s getting personal?

GENIUS: Somebody better freakin’ be getting an award for this. For reals.

THE HUMAN ZIPPO:

OH NOOOOOOOOOES: Admittedly, if we were talking about Aston Martins, I might be more upset about this. Sad, for sure. But..

I’LL TAKE A KENMORE FRIDGE AND SOME TOOLS: Am I just a cynical bastard or is this really a stretch? 

WHAT’S IN A NAME? That’s not really the question actually. What’s it going to take to change one? Now you’re talking. 

Need something else to read?

• Perhaps my favorite Dappered post ever?
• Don’t ever let this happen to you.
• Speaking of delicious libations, share the love.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related.