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Keeping it Dapper at Home

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Ask A Woman: Impressing the wife while in your weekend duds.

You're hovering a bit there bucko.

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked. That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com .

 

Hi Beth,

I know you get a lot of questions from guys who are in the dating game, but… the lady I’d most like to impress is my wife. Any recommendations for around-the-house wear? We see each other in our pajamas and working-in-the-yard clothes plenty. Any suggestions on how I can keep looking great at home, so I don’t look like I’m giving up?

– Aaron

 

Hi Aaron,

Thanks so much for writing in. And other guys in Aaron’s situation–happily married–please feel free to write in with relationship questions, too. While I’m always glad to give dating advice, maintaining steady relationships is just as tricky, so shoot me an email. We tackle it all here at Beth’s House o’ Wisdom.

As you note, Aaron, it’s important to put some effort into your appearance with your longtime love. As relationships progress, we tend to give the outside world our best self, whatever that is–neatly groomed, positive attitude, polite behavior–while reserving our lesser selves for who we are at home around the person who we feel most comfortable with. In a way, that’s sort of great–it shows confidence in our relationship, and that our home is a sanctuary where we don’t have to pretend. But that also means that our partners get the worst of us…and that’s not fair.

You can step up your game with very little effort. If you’re someone who worships at the lounge-wear altar and you are not wearing a pair of jeans or collared shirt at home for anything in the world, you can still look better than you do now. How? Go through your comfortable clothing. Do you have t-shirts with pit stains? Do you have sweatpants with holes in the groin? Do you have socks without heels? Do you have slippers that smell like rotten eggs? Into the garbage can, my friend. Your at-home clothing doesn’t have to be pristine, but if Goodwill wouldn’t take the clothing you have in your dresser, it’s time to pitch it. You can easily replace your filthy duds without spending a lot of money. Check out these attractive, affordable hoodies (yes fearless leader, I said hoodies) from Old Navy:

Hoodies

Colorblock zip-front – $16.90; Striped zip-front – $16.90; Lightweight colorblock – $13 all w/ GIFTS

Now, if you’re willing to make a little more effort, dig out or buy a pair of really comfortable pants that aren’t sweats. Some people like jeans, some prefer chinos. Whatever you decide on, make sure it’s a pair of pants you can lounge in–nothing that cuts into the waist when you sit on the couch, nothing with material so stiff it won’t let you bend at the knee to wipe a spill off the kitchen floor. Even just wearing real pants with a sweatshirt and slippers makes a huge difference in your appearance. Check out the soft, slightly stretchy Travel Jeans from Bonobos. Yes, they cost $98, but think about it this way. If you’re wearing these every weekend, and changing into them most nights when you get home from work, it’s worth the money. And since it’s Bonobos, you can get them on sale if you’re patient.

Ready to step it up even more? Pair your jeans or khakis with a simple sweater. Look at the material before purchasing–avoid polyester (or other synthetic materials). We’re still going for at-home comfort and that means breathable, soft cotton or cotton-blends, or lighter weight wool like Merino. Many sweaters are just as comfortable as sweatshirts, but they make such a difference in your appearance. These 100% cotton sweaters from Gap are easy to style and so soft:

at home sweaters

Heathered striped crew – $32.47; Striped Half-Zip – $32.47; Marled Shawl sweater – $35.72
all w/ GIFTS

Other ways to look handsome yet still comfortable at home: forgo those beat-up running shoes and wear vintage-styled sneakers. If you really want to wow her…check out Betabrand Pinstripe Dress Pant Sweatpants. Yeah, you read that right. It’s the male version of pajama jeans. Boom.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send it to: askawoman@dappered.com

Comments

  1. Seriously, ditching my sweatshirts for cozy but stylish sweaters made such a huge difference, and getting nice looking pants that you’re not super worried about to match means you’re not ever really “off” even when you’re relaxing at home. Lycra/elastane in jeans is your friend. If you do it right, you don’t even have to change to go run a quick errand on a lazy Sunday.

  2. Great advice. This is what I like to read. :) dressing well lately has become more about presenting my best self for me and my future wife, and less about the ‘outside world’.

  4. Maybe the best place to start trying to look good for your spouse is your birthday suit. Nothing says “I love you” more than taking care of yourself properly.

  5. Button-up shirt, OCBD. Thicker cotton in the winter, long or short sleeved linen in the summer, etc. Flip up the sleeves if it’s too hot. A pair of decent jeans. They don’t have to be indigo dress jeans but I prefer them medium or darker. No faded-to-sky-blue or near white. No holes or rips. A pair of suede bucks. Simple, comfortable and looks great. Grab a blazer before you head out the door to finish the look off if you’re going out in public.

  6. I just picked up an AG heavyweight sweatshirt. Yes, they’re excellent quality; the kind of thing you’ll have for years and years that’ll only get more comfy with age. Only problem is that short guys like me (5’5″) will find even the size small to be way too long! The waistband was down past my rear end and the sleeves were easily 4-5″ too long. i had to send mine back for that reason =(

  7. Target actually has some really comfortable heathered henleys for like 15$ right now. PIcked up 2 the other day. Comfortable and warm.

  8. As always, I think it’s more important to consider the fit of your clothes, even loungeware, than the specific items themselves. If your clothes fit well and are in good repair, you’ll look much more put together than had you thrown on sweatpants that are two sizes two big and an oversized T-shirt, complete with pit stains and holes. Fit trumps (almost) all.

  9. Agree completely. Although a well-fitted crew neck sweatshirt can be as goodlooking as a sweater.

  10. I’ll pitch in that fit and condition make all the difference. Most of the t-shirts in my closet are from high school and college (I’m now 30), where they seemed to give them out like candy. I must have been delusional in my younger days, because upon further review, nearly everything is a large or extra large. I’m 5’7″ – 180. I was swimming in them.

    I needed some filler to get to the free shipping threshold on a Gap-family purchase earlier this year, and added a handful of Old Navy ringer tees that were like 3.50 apiece, which fit me just about perfectly. Those, a worn-in pair of jeans and a pair of canvas sneakers, and I’m set.

    My wife has made it clear that she notices the difference.

  12. My wife and I only have one rule in the summer:
    I don’t wear my dress socks with shorts and she doesn’t wear her “butch”-looking shorts.

  16. This! You and me both. The first thing I do when I get home is remove any article of clothing that isn’t machine washable before it has a chance to collect dog/cat hairs and drool.

  18. I’m a bit late to the party, but I wanted to add that if you’re looking for a cheap(er) alternative to the Bonobos Travel Jeans, check out Levis. (For example: http://us.levi.com/product/index.jsp?productId=21294246&kwCatId=&kw=514&origkw=514&sr=1&fbn=21294246|null|null)

    Just check that it says “stretch” in the product description and has fabric something along the lines of 99% cotton, 1% stretch or elastane. I’ve got a pair and they are super comfortable for relaxing at home but also don’t look too bad for heading out in public.