Looking your best is a great feeling. But being dressed to the nines at every single moment? That’s taking it too far. There are many situations where it’s plenty acceptable for us to look like a stylistic dumpster fire. Sometimes it’s smart to remind yourself that in order to “clean up real good”, you have to get dirty first. Keeps you in the realm of reality. Feel free to dress it down… way down… when confronted with these circumstances.
1. Working out very early in the morning
If you start your workout before 6am, don’t even worry about combing your hair. Deodorant? Yes. No smelly tees either. Matching socks would be nice (but not required… it happens). You want to be courteous to those around you at the gym, but look… if you’re lifting weights while the cows who share your time zone are getting milked, then you’re not there for a fashion show. Wear what works best, get in, and get out.
2. While watching a movie at a budget theater.
Sticky floors and leather soled shoes are a nasty combination. That, and getting up from watching Taken 2 only to realize you now have gum embedded into the tail of your super 130s wool suit jacket is all kinds of unfortunate.
3. Inside a tent
Camping or circus, now’s not the time to think about how your clothes look.
4. At Costco
Surprisingly, Costco isn’t a half bad source for affordable style (some swear by Kirkland’s dress shirts), but shopping there can be an all out battle. Especially if you can’t get out of there.
Costco. May the shopping Gods have mercy on your soul…
5. Giving your son “the talk”
A power suit will only exacerbate this kind of awkwardness. Better to discuss such things in t-shirts and jeans over a grilled cheese sandwich. And try not to use the word “exacerbate” in the conversation. Might give the poor kid a heart attack.
6. Black Friday Shopping at 12:01 AM
What are you doing there anyway?
7. At a Gwar Concert
Lotta fluids at those things. More fun than Black Friday shopping every time.
8. On a Greyhound
Blend in.
9. Spring Cleaning
You’re going to use bleach at some point. Maybe it’s in the soft scrub or some other cleaner. But the likelihood that you’ll get it on a favorite pair of casual shoes, or that t-shirt that fits perfectly, or whatever… it’s so high that it’s best just to wear that pile you’ve been meaning to get to the thrift store.
10. At the shooting range
“Well get a load of James Bond over here!”
11. Halloween
Being the always-dressed-up-guy in your circle of friends who then goes as James Bond for Halloween is awfully cheesy (yet if you’re somewhere in the middle, there are a few well dressed options with a decent factor of ridiculousness). Now’s the time to go full Sponge Bob.
Your turn guys. You can’t be well dressed all the time. In what scenarios are you more than okay going full dirtbag? Does it involve a style guilty pleasure? Leave it all in the comments below. (Top Photo: Adam Engelhart)