Does Plus One Equal Wedding Fun?

Ask A Woman:  When your workmate asks you out… to a wedding

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Hey Beth,

 
Hi Brett,

Your question is pretty straightforward but there are a couple variables to think on.  First, you work together.  People tend to feel strongly about dating in the workplace.  There are many companies that have strict policies on this behavior, including forbidding it.  However, as adults, we spend most of our time, sadly, at work, so it makes sense that we’d seek meaningful relationships there.  I dated someone I worked with; after the relationship ended in a disastrous ball of fire and I was forced to see the person on a weekly basis, it was pretty awful.  Thankfully (or not), I was a 21 year old college student, so I didn’t think much of bringing a 48 oz. gas station cup filled half with Coke and half with whiskey with me to work to ease the pain.  I’m also not very stoic about heartbreak so I walked around for a month with big alligator tears falling down my cheeks and not caring who saw.  Including him.  I’m sure he didn’t find that at all pathetic.  Our college selves are not typically our best selves, amiright?  Anyway, I just want to warn you of a possible road ahead if in fact the two of you begin dating.  In six months you may be walking around the office with a flask in your pocket.  If you don’t already.

Sometimes it’s hard to read the signals of other people.  Maybe she’s wild about you, she’s just not comfortable being open about it yet.  Or maybe the night you met up with her she felt shy about being too forward in front of a large group.  She did ask you to be her date to the wedding, so that’s something.  It means she likes you enough to spend an evening with you…although it doesn’t guarantee romantic interest.  Some women (and maybe men, I’m not sure) get goofy about going to a wedding stag.  They seem to think it means they’re a loser, or that it’s weird to go to a wedding alone.  Which I totally disagree with–weddings can be a good place to meet other singles.

Beware the Stage 5 Clingers… 

Anyway, my point is that it’s hard to know yet what the invitation to the wedding means.  It’s promising, but it’s not a promise ring.

I think your attitude is right on.  Go without expecting too much.  Tell her she looks nice, ask her to dance, see that she gets home safely.  Don’t put all your cards on the table; it’s still early.  But if it seems like she’s digging you, go with it and have a good time.

-Beth

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